Archive for the ‘Yankees’ Category

Weekend Recap

April 27, 2009

Absolutely gorgeous weekend these last few days. It felt like summer. Took the dog to the lake and let him go swimming for the first time this year, went to the Bronx Zoo and saw the animals nap in the heat, and drank some man cans on a rooftop deck while watching a wedding below in Midtown. It was a pretty good weekend. Needless to say, there was also a lot of sports related news that came down the pipe.

1. The NFL Draft was the centerpiece of the weekend. The Lions got Matt Stafford on Friday, to no ones surprise. One somewhat big surprise was that the Jets traded up to the number five slot and picked up Mark “Dirty” Sanchez. Let’s see how he handles the “New York Media”. (For those of you who don’t really get the NY Media it’s like this: You eff up they’ll be calling for your head. You do well, they’ll be unimpressed. Your name is Derek Jeter, they will make excuses for you all day long. That’s it. That’s the New York Media.) The Pats had a very large quantity of draft picks in the second round. Can’t wait to see how they work out. First round = flashy stars, second round = real players.

2. In Virginia Tech draft news, Macho Harris was the only Tech player to be drafted this year, in a pretty shallow draft class from the Hokies. He went in the fifth round with the 157th overall pick to the Iggles. I think we can all agree that we can no longer root for Macho Harris. It’s been fun, but we have principles. They may be few in number and kind of ridiculous, but they’re principles, dammit.

3. In a crash reminiscent of The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Carl Edwards wrecked his car on the final turn of the race and then jogged from his burning car to the finish line to finish 24th. Seven fans were hurt by debris when his car flew into the fence, but no one was seriously injured. The douchenozzle who nudged him to incite the crash eventually won and was doing his burnouts on the track whilst Edwards picked himself out of the flaming car. NASCAR: Nothing but class.

4. The first round of the hockey playoffs are still going on, and the Caps have brought the series with the Rangers to a 3-3 tie, making this next game a must win for both teams. The Rangers looks like crap and the Caps are basically spitting in their faces and getting away with it. Kinda makes you wonder how the Rangers won three games so far.

5. The NBA playoffs are starting to get mildly interesting in that the Cavs swept the Pistons and the Celtics are struggling against the Bulls. The Celtics lost to Chicago in a 2OT thriller and the series is tied at 2-2. Alright this is too tough, because I really don’t care. Moving on.

6. Saving the best for last (if you though I wasn’t going to talk about this, then you’re nucking futs), the Men of Boston embarrassed the Boys of New York in more ways than one. First they have the audacity to make Mariano get his first blown save of the season. Then they have the gall to come back from a 3-run deficit and score 16 runs when the Yankees put up a man-sized 11 runs. Then they put the nail in the coffin by sweeping the series and having Jacoby Ellsbury straight-steal home in the fifth inning. It brought tears to my eyes, it really did. The look on Andy Pettite’s face just paid this month’s rent. Oh by the way, the Sox have now won 10 in a row. They also just added a player to their roster. His name is Dom I. Nation.

That’s all we got for now. If you think we forgot anything, let us know in the comments section. Otherwise, join me in basking in the post Red Sox-Yankees series glow. It’s the only tan I get.

UPDATE: The ‘Skins just signed undrafted QB Chase Daniel from Mizzou. They now have four QBs in Campbell, Collins, Brennan, and Daniel. This means that they are either going to deal one or two of them, or Dan Snyder is starting a collection of sub-par quarterbacks. Sadly, I’m going with the latter.

Steroids or Fluid Dynamics?

April 21, 2009

There has been much talk recently about the exodus of baseballs from the confines of Yankee Stadium during games. Yes, by that I am eloquently referring to the massive amount of home runs hit there in this very young season.

Against the Cleveland Indians, over the course of the opening four game series, there were 20 home runs hit. At this pace, there will be 405 home runs hit at Yankee Stadium this season alone. That would average 5 home runs a game.

Fourteen of these 20 were hit to right field, and engineers all over the tri-state area are discussing the possibility that there might be a wind tunnel effect along the right foul line corridor. If this is the case, the Yankees are in serious need of some renovations on the brand-new $1.5 Billion stadium.

On a related note, the Yankees are scared of the Red Sox for realzies. They pulled Wang in favor of Joba for this weekend’s series against the Good Guys. You think they would have done that for any other team? Methinks not.

On yet another note, it looks like I was wrong about the Pirates dropping below .500 yesterday effectively ending their season. Could this be the year they turn it around? Special Pirates Magic Number: 75. Beginning the countdown, now.

Weekend Recap

April 20, 2009

Lot’s of sports stuff going on this weekend with playoff hockey, playoff basketball, baseball, prep for the draft next weekend, and tons of other sports stuff.

1. Let’s get this out of the way now: Playoff basketball started this past week and there were some surprises. The Celtics lost to the Bulls in a heart breaker, the Heat lost to the Hawks by a lot, the Sixers came back from 18 to beat the Magic and yada yada yada. I can’t wait for this to be over. The NBA is clogging up SportsCenter.

2. Playoff hockey has been in full force, and we have not been disappointed. The Pens have been punishing the Flyers until last night when the Flyers cut the Pens series lead in half. The Bruins have been making a mess of the Habs, and rightly so. Other teams that no one on this blog cares about also played. They’re still fun to watch, though.

3. Now some of you may be thinking that I have some kind of inferiority complex since I talk about the Yankees a lot. But here’s the truth. I am a Red Sox fan. I grew up in Yankee country. I now live in the heart of Yankee country. I don’t really like where I live. There are too many stereotypical New Yorkers. And yes, they are annoying. So here’s the point: When the Yankees lose 22-4 at home to the Indians, you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to bring it up.

4. The Sox seem to have regained their form (fingers crossed) and are coming back to .500 in a hurry. They beat the Orioles thrice this weekend and have one more game tonight. I think you know what I’m looking for, but like a pitcher with a no-no going, I dare not speak it’s name.

5. The best team in the MLB just beat the worst. Shocker. The Nats now fall to 1-10 on the season and are having some major troubles. Apparently Elijah Dukes was late to the game Sunday because he was signing autographs at a non-MLB sanctioned Little League game. The Nats have said that if he is late one more time, they are going to option him to Triple-A. Over-under on this happening is set at four days.

6. The Miss USA pageant was this weekend apparently, seeing as how it is on the front page of my home page. Miss North Carolina won, furthering my claim that NC has the hottest girls in the country. We’ll avoid the fact that this pageant business is one of the stupidest things in the world and that there is no way that it is not setting the women’s cause back every time it goes on. The girls have to be hot, they have to look good (but not too good) in a bikini, and they have to have the most scripted, thoughtless, and cookie-cutter answers to the biggest meatball questions in the world to win. This is really just a dumb competition that means nothing, except on the day after. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is more meaningful than this crap.

On a related note, there was some controversy when one of the contestants was asked about gay marriage, and she said in no uncertain terms that she believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. This led to a shouting match in the lobby after with one man saying this:

“It’s ugly,” said Scott Ihrig, a gay man, who attended the pageant with his partner. “I think it’s ridiculous that she got first runner-up. That is not the value of 95 percent of the people in this audience. Look around this audience and tell me how many gay men there are.”

Touche, Scott Ihrig. You win this round.

Hope you had a nice weekend outside, because up here the weather was awesome. Unfortunately for you (and me) it might be time to open that door and creep outside to get some color on your pasty white skin. Wear suncreen.

Yanks get housed in their new house

April 16, 2009

The Yankees have gotten their asses kicked in their home opener which was also the official unveiling of their new stadium. This is the best part: they got beat by the Cleveland Indians, the team with the second worst record in this young season.

Teixeira was pulled for Melky Cabrera, they ran through roughly 6 pitchers (none of which were position players…they may have learned their lesson), and as of yesterday, Xavier Nady looks like he will be out for the rest of the season.

It’s good to see the Yanks (hopefully) take over the miserable ways of the Red Sox lately. Now I’m just waiting for the Pirates to get back to form. They lost today against Houston, so that’s a step in the right direction.

PS, CGally: 2 does not equal 3

I’m so confused

April 14, 2009

What the hell is going on with baseball right now?

1. The Red Sox are shitting the bed
2. Jon Lester is throwing batting practice to opposing teams
3. The Yankees are awful and got owned by the Rays 15-5
4. The Yanks ran out of pitchers so Nick Swisher – that’s right, their temporary first baseman – threw an inning and was their best pitcher of the night
5. And the Pirates shut out the Astros 7-0.

It’s like white is black, outside is inside, cheeseburgers eat you, and Lindsay Lohan is sober. I’m so lost.

I don’t know what’s going on…but I like it

April 9, 2009

For the second time – in a row! – the Baltimore Orioles unloaded on the Yankees. The Orioles are now 2-0 while the Bronx Douchebags are 0-2. I don’t even care that the Red Sox got owned last night or that Mark Teixeira has only one hit on the season and is seriously effing up my fantasy team. It’s worth it to hear the NY sports radio jocks panic and already question the validity of the team. It gets me up in the morning.

Now all the rational people know that these two games probably mean nothing and the Orioles and Yankees will more than likely retake their proper places among the AL East teams, but for now, watching the $160 million man get shelled and the $180 million guy get sat down is like a tennis ball to a golden retriever. There ain’t nothing better.

This explains a lot.

March 17, 2009

For those of you who don’t know, the man on the right is Brian Cashman, the general Manager of the New York Yankees. The man on the left, is obviously a non-Yankee fan, and is much, much smarter than the man on the right. Or, possibly a more reasonable explanation is that Cashman can’t read. Never learned.

I bet this is how the off season signings went:

Cashman: Wait, how much are we signing Teixeira and Sabathia for?

Scott Boras: Package deal, 50 bucks. Take it or leave it.

Cashman: I’m an awesome negotiator, better than William Shatner! I’m a genius!

Boras: Just sign here, here, and here.

Cashman: I love signing things!

The only shirt that might have been better for this picture is the one that says “Steinbrenner Ruined Baseball”. That would have been classic.

Male Bonding in Tampa

March 10, 2009

From TAMPA, Fla. — From the two diamonds just outside Steinbrenner Field came the sounds of loud laughter, sporadic shouting, clapping hands and the occasional howl of anguish — not the normal noise associated with the pitchers’ fielding practice.
Instead, the mild uproar stemmed from a hybrid game of golf and baseball being played by about two dozen Yankees pitchers and their coaches, and Manager Joe Girardi. The game, actually an impromptu tournament, was the idea of pitcher A. J. Burnett. He casually mentioned it to Girardi, who quickly seized on it as part of his attempt this spring to revise his image.

First the skipping practice to have a pool tournament, now this. This sounds like the time when the Yankees conditioning coach decided that running shouldn’t be a part of their conditioning regimen. That turned out well. Why practice baseball to play baseball?

Even living in New York, I don’t understand what goes on in the Yankee’s heads. Girardi has said that the two activities are meant to improve bonding within the team. After this spring training, the Yankees should be so bonded with each other, I wouldn’t be shocked to see a few of them swapping Dubble Bubble mid-game.

Bonding aside, I don’t see how this is going to help them get better, though not that I want them to. But seeing as how their pitcher-of-the-future, Joba Chamberlain went, ohhhh, 1 inning, walked four, gave up a hit, threw a wild pitch, left the bases loaded and recorded no outs last Friday, they might want to try working on a few pitching drills or something. But, you know what, putting with a baseball bat is probably a better way to fix all that.

The only thing I can take away from this is that the Yankees are so confident in their off-season signings that they don’t even need to put in any effort to get ready for the upcoming season.

I can only hope that this blows up in their faces. Along with the Dubble Bubble.

Johnny Damon is an idiot

February 18, 2009

TAMPA, FL. – “Yeah he did some bad things. He took a steroid. Definitely do not condone that, at all, but there could be a lot worse things he could have been doing out there. He hasn’t done a crime. So there’s worse things that he could have done but you know I’ve known Alex since he was 15 and he’s always been super nice to me and so I’m going to support him and try help him through this time. (Reporter: Johnny, what would have been worse?) Murdering someone… There’s plenty of things that could be worse than what he did.”

This is the actual quote from Johnny Damon. I’m speechless. Except for this: Looks like Jesus, acts like Judas, throws like Mary.

A-Rod Speaks

February 17, 2009

So Alex Rodriguez had his little press conference regarding his steroid use and it went well, I guess. I’ll have to see what Michael Kay and Mike Francesa say about the whole shin-dig to see how New Yorkers are going to interpret this thing. Like Rush is to Republicans, the two Mikes are to Yankee fans. But I digress.

So A-Rod said:

…his cousin injected him with a substance from the Dominican Republic to gain an energy boost


“I knew we weren’t taking Tic Tacs”

Which begs the question, does A-rod think people are supposed to inject Tic Tacs? Because they aren’t.

And as a show of support there were some other Yankees at his side (2-1 odds the Steinbrenners pretty much made it an optional but mandatory thing) including Jeter (who I thought didn’t like A-rod and vice versa), Jorge Posada (soon to be replaced by Kevin Cash, former Sox backup), Mariano Rivera (still has no respect for Jackie Robinson), and Andy Pettite (proven ‘roid user).

I honestly don’t get the “support” thing. We know that no one likes A-Rod on the team or off the team, so why do this fake “I’ve got your back” crap? Just more Yankee douchery.

Other than that, A-Rod didn’t name the “cousin” who helped inject him with tic tacs, didn’t comment on whether or not any other players on the Rangers were using when he was, and said he was sorry a few times. Just said they have a “special team” this year and he would like to just focus on baseball (and nasty old Madonna types).

These press conferences always seem like a well choreographed dance between the player/coach, media, and fan base in which nothing actually gets said or done, and yet as long as everyone hears the player/coach admit (after the fact) what everyone already knew, everything is kosher.

Listen, steroids were a part of the bigs over the last 20 years or so. The batters were using them, the pitchers were using them, and the mascots were using them. Hell even some wives were using them (looking your way Debbie Clemens). During this time, baseball got bigger and more popular, ticket sales and prices went up, and the only thing that got screwed were fan’s wallets and the records.

Unless Bud Selig wants to go and wipe every record that anyone with performance enhancing anything holds, there’s really nothing you can do to get rid of Bond’s record, Clemen’s records, or A-Rods future records. It sucks, but then so does life. Get used to it.

Just institute a more rigorous testing policy and prevent it in the future. And stop these stupid press conferences that don’t get anything done. They’re just another means to have these egomaniacal divas talk about themselves while everyone is oogling them like a topless Bar Rafaeli. Come to think of it, if Bar was involved, I would definitely watch it.