Archive for the ‘West Virginia’ Category

Hillbillies Beware

February 27, 2009

The governor of West Virginia is sick and tired of his state being treated like a bunch of poverty stricken yokels with no teeth who sleep with their sister, according to Newsweek (editor’s note: read this article, it’s well worth it). He is pumping money into the schools and the tourism program to bring and keep people in West Virginia.

A point of concern is a recent ABC documentary “Children of the Mountains” which features Shawn Grim who was, according to the documentary,

Born and raised in central Appalachia, Shawn Grim is a walking hillbilly cliché. His mother has no teeth, none of his relatives graduated from high school and there’s a gun rack on the wall of his family’s ramshackle trailer. But he was still shocked last year when his brother, “Little Man,” was caught in flagrante with his half-sister.

I need to see this documentary. If anyone knows where I can find it, please tell me.

To remedy the exodus problem, the governor enlisted the help of WV residents in thinking of a new forward thinking and progressive motto for their beloved state. The notable entries? “Loving my hills” and a place “where time stands still”. Classic.

Another major negative point in the governor’s mind is the annual Road Kill Cook Off in interestingly named Pocahontas, WV, featuring: intestine-challenging “flat cat,” “bumper bruised bear” and “deer schmear fajitas.”

When asked about the Road Kill Cook Off, the governor had this charming anecdote for us:

Are they still running that s––– down south? he asks an aide in disbelief, before adding: Well, I tell you what, if you see [the organizer], kill the son of a bitch.

Why no one wants to live in that little slice of heaven is beyond me.

I apologize to anyone who is scared or offended by this picture below, but I have to post it. It’s like a train wreck, it’s so disturbing, yet I can’t stop staring at it.

“You have a purdy mouth.”