Archive for the ‘weekend recap’ Category

Last formal weekend recap

September 8, 2009

I don’t think I will be doing anymore formal weekend recaps because they take way too much time. So I think from now on I will just throw out my thoughts on what happened over the weekend and you’ll be happy to get it.

I won’t delve into that debacle that was our game against Alabama, because I’m sure we will have a post devoted entirely to that subject in the coming hours or days. I do want to say this though, I was impressed. Same amount of impressed I was last year and the year before that. As Gobbler Country so truthfully puts it, we are, in fact the same team we were last year. And the year before that. The announcers before the game were commenting on how predictable our offense was. Exhibit A of why we need a new offensive coordinator.

Some other stuff happened that I’m sure you already know about: Oregon’s punch-drunk player got suspended the whole season, but of course, not the pussy who was flopping in his face like a goldfish about two seconds before he took it on the chin. Figures. The Sooners lost Bradford for a few weeks which means their championship run is over. This crazy 17 year old chick is blowing through the competition at the US Open. Good for her. And the pirates lost. More on that in a different post.

But back to what we care about, we move onto Marshall next week and we better bring the pain in order to get our spirits up. Nothing is as crushing as leading a game into the fourth quarter and then shitting the bed. But we know that feeling all too well by now. So let’s just move on and accept that we aren’t winning a National Championship with the coaching staff in its present form and just be happy with 10 win seasons and trips to the Orange Bowl. Apparently playing Big East teams in a bowl game is our peak. Ugh.

Weekend recap

August 24, 2009

What a rainy weekend. Just a great way to start the end end of summer. Stuck in the house with the backyard flooding. Awesome.

1. The Yankees took two of three from the Red Sox in what was a shitshow of pitching all around. First game 20-11, second game 14-1, third game 8-4. Somehow Junichi Tazawa came out as the best pitcher for either team in the series.

2. In John Smoltz’s glorious return to the National League, he won his debut with the Cards. He gave up no runs and struck out 9. You have got to be fucking kidding me Smoltz. There isn’t that much of a difference between the two leagues. It’s not a switch. You can’t just turn it on or off. You miserable bitch.

3. Eric Bruntlett ended the Mets/Phillies game with the second ever game-ending unassisted triple play. Basically what happened was Castillo was on second, Murphy on first and Francoeur at bat. Francoeur hit a line drive to Bruntlett who was standing near second. Bruntlett caught it, touched second to get Castillo out, then tagged Murphy who was attempting to steal second on that pitch. Boom, unassisted triple play. Much like how last year CGally reacted to a bunted foul third strike to end a Pirates game, this just summed up the Mets season. PS – the Mets are pathetic.

4. Preseason football was still going on. Preseason football accomplishes two tasks: to get everyone in the mood for football season and for guys to show off their new HD tvs. Bing and Go.

5. Hokie football season starts in t-minus 12 days. Get ready.

Weekend recap

August 17, 2009

Delayed, again. Deal with it.

1. Tiger Woods choked harder than the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS yesterday. He was all but signing his name to history when YE Yang came from behind (and out of nowhere) and took the championship. Tough loss. However, several sports outlets have been asking whether this is the biggest upset in the history of sports. It is not. Not even close.

2. Stephen Strasburg (as of right now) has yet to become a National. I don’t get why he just won’t sign for the gigantic contract their offering him. Let’s look at the two options that will come to pass if he were to sign: One – he will help the team win and thus be the savior of the Nationals and have his name written down as a baseball god in the history books or 2- The Nationals can’t afford his contract after a year and sell him off to the highest bidder where he then pitches for the Yankees. It’s a win-win for him. He may have to sell his soul, but he was going to do that anyways.

3. Tyson Gay did not shock the world at the world championships as he said he would. Usain Bolt broke the world record in the 100 meter with a 9.58. Tyson Gay got a 9.71. That broke the American record, however they were at the world championships and not the American championships, so that means jack shit. Bolt has basically guaranteed a 9.4 in his future. I don’t doubt him.

4. David Wright got knocked in the head by a 94-mph Matt Cain fastball. He is now on the DL. The Mets just really can’t catch a break. Not that they deserve one, I’m just simply stating that they cannot catch one. Hiroki Kuroda also got hit on the head (without a helmet), but no one cares because he is not as attractive as David Wright and we all know that only pretty people deserve to be in the news.

HateFest 2009 is still going on even though CGally “forgot” to write up his GT post and the DiP “forgot” to write up his UNC post, so hopefully they will both get back on track TODAY and post those bitches so that we can move on to ACC Atlantic week. Get ready Maryland, you won’t be walking right for a while.

Weekend recap

August 10, 2009

I got shivers last night. I turned on the TV to NBC and saw something magical. More on that later.

1. Tiger Woods won his 70th tournament. He’s now won two since not making the cut at his last major. I think he’s pissed now.

2. Let’s get this over with. The Red Sox played like shit and the pitching was horrendous. Save for the second game where Beckett pitched, and Lester did all right, not great. But the Yankees swept the Sox and now put the Sox back a lot of games and tied with the Rangers… and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

3. My level of upset-ness was dropped a few notches when I turned on the television last night to see FOOTBALL BEING PLAYED! Completely forgot this was the HOF game weekend and the start of preseason football. My body quivered with anticipation as I watched about ten minutes of the Titans smacking around the Bills. What? It was the Titans and the Bills! Ten minutes is a big investment.

4. The Red Sox designated Smoltz for assignment on Friday after his shitshow of a pitching performance on Thursday. Finally. I mean this guy was once good. Not in the AL East apparently. Glad to see we have to lose eight fucking games to figure that out.

5. In honor of the football season getting on its feet again, here is the salary crunch thing from ESPN again, now with Eli Manning’s new salary! Get your bottle of scotch ready, boys!

That’s all I’ve got for you now. Look forward to ACC Coastal teams in this weeks lineup of HateFest 2009.

Weekend recap

August 3, 2009

I just completed my “Four Weddings in Four Weeks (Including my Own)” Tour this weekend and after spending a ass-numbing 19 hours on the road this weekend, I really have nothing to give for weekend recap. I don’t know what the hell happened in the sports world other than the Red Sox got Victor Martinez and traded away Adam LaRoche and Tiger Woods won the Buick Open. If you think I missed anything that was important, just post your own little blurb in the comment section.

Weekend recap

July 27, 2009

You know everyone loves “Wedding Crashers” and the whole concept of “Wedding Season” but when you have to drive from NY to VA three times in four weeks, weddings start to get really friggin’ old.

1. Lance Armstong lost the Tour de France to his Astana teammate. He was not happy or a good loser about it. He was a dick. Someone should tell him that just because he beat cancer, won 7 consecutive Tours, banged Sheryl Crow, had like 5 kids despite only having one nut, and still rakes in the ladies doesn’t mean he can be an asshole when he gets third in the Tour after a 2.5 year retirement. Oh what’s that? He is allowed to do that because of all those things? Oops, my bad.

2. Jimmie Johnson won the Brickyard this weekend, apparently because Montoya got some kind of speeding penalty. At an auto race. I don’t know what that means, and honestly, I couldn’t care less. This is what they do at NASCAR events:

3. Tyson Gay has basically guaranteed that he will “shock the world” at the 100m next month and beat out Usain Bolt. Here’s a little tip, Tyson. You won’t. Bolt has his own dancers. He doesn’t even try to run fast and he beats out the other racers by like 3 seconds. I mean, if you think you can win, then all the power to you, but I just don’t think it will happen. Also, for next time, you might want to wait until like a week before the competition to make these guarantees. Now Bolt will train harder in the next month just in order to beat you out, and secondly, no one will remember that you said this a month from now. If you did it a week before, then everyone would pay attention. But not a month away. Come on, man, thats just elementary stuff.

4. Jim Rice and Rickey Henderson got inducted into the Hall of Fame. No discussion needed here, they were both deserving. Some will argue that Rice shouldn’t have gotten in (ebj – looking at you) but no one will argue the election of the Henderson. He’s stolen more bases than CGally has stolen ladies’ hearts. So that would be at least one. Ba dum dum.

5. The MLB trade talks are ongoing and it looks like Halladay probably won’t be moving before the trade deadline. He’s a free agent next year and has already said that if the BJs don’t trade him then he will be open to testing the market. That way any team who wants him could get hime for the same money they would sign him an extension, and not have to give up an prospects. Shoot for the playoffs next year buddy.

6. Terrell Owens says that suspending Vick for four games this season would be “ridiculous”. This may be the only remotely intelligent thing this manchild has ever said. For the first time in my life I can honestly say, “I agree with T.O.” Oooh, I just got the chills. And a small part of my soul just died.

Weekend recap

July 6, 2009

I will be taking a break from posting here (including the weekend recap) for about two weeks after Wednesday because I will be traveling to Maryland to go get myself married off to a wonderful, albeit unsuspecting, girl. Then I will be living it up in St. Lucia for a week. So you suckers can enjoy the infrequent posts about how great Ben Rothlinstein is going to be this year from CGally. Anyways, on to the recap!

1. Roger Federer won the Wimbledon on Sunday to take home his 15th (and historically most) grand slam title. Also of note is that the last set was the longest in history lasting 1 hour and 35 minutes. The set consisted of 30 total points, breaking the record of 20 points.

2. Steve McNair was fatally shot and killed in Nashville. Not that I’m taking bets or anything, but given the evidence and the non-information from the police, I’m banking on the fact that this was a murder-suicide. Terrible news.

3. The MLB All-Star rosters were announced. Some surprises, some not surprises. More to come later.

4. Joey Chestnut pwned the Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest this year eating a gut-busting, toilet-dominating (and record-breaking) 68 hot dogs. That’s just fucking gross. Kinda makes me hungry though. Kobayashi ate only 64.5 HDBs (hot dogs and buns) to come in second. Third place finisher (who doesn’t deserve a name) came in at 55 HDBs. In case you were wondering, yes they do take bets for this shit, and the over was 62.5, which he easily beat.

5. ManRam came back from the restricted list (for taking female fertility drugs) and did not play. His legs were tired, so he rested. Because nothing calls for a day off more than just finishing 50 of them. Oh LA, you are a shitshow.

6. The Tour de France is going on, but America is back to where it normally stands and doesn’t care. Cry for me cyclers. Your sport is once again under-appreciated. Boo. Hoo. If you want some acknowledgement, go eat a shit ton of hot dogs. Then, as a country, we will care.

Weekend Recap: WOOOOOOO Version

June 15, 2009

The N allowed a special exemption to have your humble editor to jump on the weekend recap. I apologize for the delay, but I doubt any letters will reach our inbox. (If you feel like writing, please use as many curse words as possible, and write in all caps.)

Onto this weekend, not that anything special happened. Except for…

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Yes, my beloved Penguins did what many deemed impossible. Sidney, Geno, and everyone else FINALLY got that Stanley Cup they’ve waited 5 years to hoist. There will clearly be a more substantial post on the accomplishment at a later time. But I don’t see how anyone that watched the last period can possibly say they can’t get into hockey. I know it was my team and all, but good lord. A crossbar to keep the lead in game 7 with 2 minutes left? Dead people had heart attacks watching that. And Hossa? You know I kinda feel ba… BAAAAAAAAH. His tears sustain me. Again, much, much more to come.

Another Championship. There was some sort of basketball contest or something this weekend too. We know we give the NBA a pretty big snub here, but we can say succinctly that we hate the Lakers. Thus, this series gets a big “whatevs” from us. Maybe if Penny Hardaway was still on the Magic, we would have paid attention. But those 4th quarters were unbearable. I’ve seen less timeouts at a daycare.

The final nail in the coffin for Detroit. Bill Laimbeer resigns as coach of WNBA’s Detroit Shock. Adjust your WNBA Fantasy Coach lineup accordingly.

Less important news than the WNBA… The Plaxico hearing has been delayed until September, which likely means he will not be playing football this season. The real lesson here is simple kids: buy a freaking holster, right? We’re not sure how this affects the Giants as a football team, but boy is Tom Coughlin’s face red ba-dum-ching. They’ll still beat the Redskins, have no fear.


To be honest, that’s all I could find while at work today. It seemed to be a slow sports weekend other than the two championships. It may also be because I just woke up from Friday night. Anyone seen my pants?

Weekend recap

June 15, 2009

This week’s edition of the weekend recap is being delayed because, being the nice guy that I am, I thought we could let CGally update you all on the events that occurred over the weekend. Something involving Hossa and schadenfreude. I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening to him.

Anyways, he said he wouldn’t get to it until this afternoon so you’ll have to deal with it. Plus I didn’t really feel like doing it today, so it’s a win-win.

Weekend recap

May 26, 2009

This past weekend was chock full of awesome shit going down including, but not limited to, the fact that I went on a tour of Fenway Park, got to go inside the Monster, ate lunch with Jed Lowrie, took in two Sox games, watched some BP from behind the plate, and got to try on the 2004 and 2007 World Series rings as well as hold the trophies. As for the deal of the recap, I got roped into an important project as soon as I got into work, and just now am getting some break time. So here we go.

1. Helio Castroneves won the Indy 500 for the third time in his career. For a guy who just barely beat a tax evasion rap which would have sent him to the clink for roughly 6 years only a few weeks ago, I would say this a pretty nice comeback.

2. The Penguins now lead the Caps 3-0 in the series and can close it out tonight. Will they? Won’t they? All we know is that the Red Wings will probably win another Cup because they are straight up dominating the Blackhawks. The Pens look good, but they don’t look that good. And from that, we get a potential success story from a city that, no arguments, needs it. But no one will care anyways, because who the hell is still left in Detroit to root for the Red Wings. (also, they win the award for the grossest nickname in sports. look it up on if you don’t get it)

3. The Sox dropped two of three to the Mets this weekend, but it was OK, because they are the Mets and they are going to miss the playoffs yet again while we take the World Series for the 3rd time this decade. On a related note, I have come to the conclusion that New York fans are the worst fans in the world. Worse than Boston fans, worse than Philly fans (gasp!) and worse than Dallas fans. They are the most fairweathered, in-your-face-when-we’re-winning, start-shit-with-people-for-no-reason, obnoxious and trashy fans out there. Go to a New York sporting event and you will see exactly what I mean.

4. The Cavs and Lakers will be playing each other in the NBA Finals, just as everyone called at the beginning of the… what? The Lakers are tied up 2-2 and the Magic lead the Cavs 2-1? Damn, that sucks for you analysts out there who claimed these series’ were going to be easy wins.

5. Jose Canseco had his MMA debut and got his ass taken down in a swift minute seventeen when he fought a ginormous Korean named Hong Man Choi. Choi dropped Canseco to the mat and went to town on his head forcing the refs to call the fight while it was still in the first round. Guess Canseco will really stop at nothing to keep himself in the spotlight, or is it that he’s as broke as Lenny Dykstra? A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

6. Cornell knocked off UVa (yay!) to take on Syracuse, who, for those of you who don’t know, is a friggin’ college lacrosse powerhouse. Cornell pulled the upset by being a five-seed to UVa’s two-seed, and led ‘Cuse all game long. That is until the Big Orange tied it up with 4 seconds left in the game. Then in overtime, Syracuse put the finishing move on Cornell and dropped one in to win 10-9. I tried to explain this to CGally, but for those of you who like hockey, you should really pay attention to lacrosse. It’s basically hockey in the air. The only difference is really the scoring, which may be a big deal, but the game is so fast and exciting, I’m willing to bet anyone watching it will be hooked immediately. There are few other sports where you can be down by five scores with less than a minute left and still win. I’ve seen it happen. Several times. Check it out. It’s worth it.

So there you go, hope you had a nice Memorial Day Weekend, and a few beers to help kick off summer.