Archive for the ‘VT basketball’ Category

UNC: University of the National Champions

April 7, 2009

Yep, everyone saw last night, UNC annihilated Michigan State to win the National Championship. Good for them. They played hard and won big. As much as I want to diminish this win due to my jealousy, I can’t. They aren’t Duke. They play well and they generally play clean. It sucks. We’ll just beat them in football.

Everyone was saying they weren’t good enough, they weren’t the “sexy pick”, Michigan St. had the home court advantage, etc. Well, eff you, the ACC is still the best basketball conference (and the second best football conference). I don’t hear all the sports pundits yapping about the Big East anymore. Say what you want about having two teams in the Final Four, we have the National Champion. And it wasn’t even close.

Hell, WE only lost to UNC by 3. We could have beat Michigan State. Well probably not, but that’s my argument and logically it makes sense. But anyways, the NCAA champion is in the ACC and not the Big East. So ‘Nova beat Duke. Big whup. Duke blows. They cheat and their coach looks just like Hitler. But when ‘Nova plays a good ACC team, they get manhandled. So did Michigan State. We didn’t get manhandled. Ergo, we’re better than ‘Nova and Michigan State, ergo, the ACC is better than the Big East and the Big Ten. GO HOKIES!!

Note: I came up with that title all by myself. No fake. No fake.

Why didn’t we recruit this guy

March 17, 2009

He may not be the greatest basketball player in college and he may not be the tallest, but he has the greatest name in college sports, as voted by Sports Illustrated. Chief Kickingstallionsims is the 7-1 center on Alabama State University and he has done something that we could not this year. Make it to the NCAA Tourney. Granted he still has the play-in game tonight (Editor’s note: vote for our TV theme madness play-in round here), but at least his NCAA Tourney hopes are still alive, and we’re filling out NIT brackets (do it).

Seriously though, how many jerseys would have been sold with this guys name on the back. I don’t like basketball, look even whiter than thought possible, and my arms look feminine in a basketball jersey, and I still would have bought one.

Guy looks pretty badass in a bandanna, too. Not many people can actually pull that off.

NIT Schedule

March 16, 2009

Well we got boxed-out of the NCAA Tourney again. Not really a shock. But we did make it into the NIT, which is still cool. (OK, it’s not, but this is what we need to tell ourselves, got it?) Our first game is on Wednesday the 18th at 7PM against Duquesne. And we’re a two-seed!

Normally, I would make some snide comment along the lines of “who the hell is Duquesne?” But alas, I have heard of this school. Appropriately enough, one of my many (haha, sadly no) ex-girlfriends graduated from there, thus giving me new-found reason to want to win in the first round of this pseudo-tournament.

A little background on Duquesne. It is pronounced dook-ayne. Well really doo-kayne, but the first way makes it sound more like the stupid cheating Blue Devils, and the more we hate this opponent, the better. It is located in Pittsburgh. South Side, for all of you Pittsburgh fan(s). Their mascot is the “duke” (clever, we know) and they suck at basically every sport known to man. Their “rec” field is the same field that their football team plays on and you have to walk across it to get to the parking lot from the dorms. Needless to say, they don’t respect their football team (gasp! yes there are schools like this).

Other than that their colors are who cares and their fight song is no one gives a shit. The end.

Soooooo, Let’s go HOKIES!!! Gobble gobble, bitches.

You’ve got to be kidding.

March 14, 2009

It’s like when a girl asks you to open a jar and you struggle and grunt and huff and puff but can’t open it only to hand it back to her and she pops the top right off. Well, we loosened this up for you FSU. We expect a thank you note soon. Dicks.

UNC cheated

March 13, 2009

So this picture was taken with 5.2 seconds left in the game, when we were down by only 1 and then Tyler Hansbrough was credited with this “steal”. We then fouled him, made him take two, he took them, and we lose by three.

Again, I don’t know much about basketball and I don’t like it particularly because I feel that everything is a foul and that’s a pansy way to play a sport. But given that those are the rules, HOW IS THIS NOT A FOUL?!?! We may have then scored a basket and won this damn thing, but no, that would take the ACC Championship away from Hansbrough who has worked so hard to get to this point. I’m calling shenanigans. This chance was stolen from us. Real stolen, not commit a foul and call it a steal stolen.

We… win?

March 12, 2009

Soooo… we won. We pretty much knocked Miami out of the Tourney, so that’s always good. But now we have UNC in the quarterfinals. We should be able to beat them. They’re good, but we have desperation on our side. If we don’t get into the Big Dance our mother is going to kills us. She showed us the knife.

Plus Seth can’t get upstaged by his loser brother who coaches for Radford. RADFORD is going to the NCAA Tournament and yet we have to beat UNC in order to get our 11-seed. Sometimes life ain’t fair.

You know, I’ve heard that 1 in 4 people at Radford have an STD. It’s true, I have a friend that goes there.

UPDATE: From the AP (we blocked this out, thanks to the AP for reminding us):

Virginia Tech is following a familiar path in the tournament. The Hokies beat Miami in last year’s tournament in Charlotte before losing to North Carolina, 68-66.

If this happens again, shits going down.

Game #30: Criminoles

March 6, 2009
(We’re not sure if the rap sheet on the basketball team is as long as the football team, but we’ll stick with the nickname anyways.)

Welcome to Must-win Central.

We’ve reached the last regular season game of the year. It doesn’t have the same feeling as the last game of the football season, as we know there are at least 2 more left to go. But still, it means we’re that much closer to not having an excuse to drink on a Wednesday.

And we couldn’t be more squarely on the bubble. Blah blah must-win blah blah. We know it. The team knows it. Weaver doesn’t know we have a basketball team.

Things we know about the Florida State basketball team:
-They beat us earlier this season.
-They are not the football team.

So that’s pretty much it. We also know that they are a good team, but beatable.

The North End Zone. You can’t complain about our analysis, because we don’t offer any.

We also know that, even though they aren’t the football team, we still hate them. Is Bobby Bowden still associated with the school? Then yeah, we still hate them

Oh, and that chop? Sweet lord. That shit needs to go the way of “WHAAAZZZZUP!!!” Just arrest anyone that does it. We doubt the rest of the country would be upset.

But if anyone needs to relive any fond memories, this video should suffice. A little grainy, but enjoy:


So now this turns into the biggest game all year. Per the Northerner’s request, we need to rock out another big time hero. Someone that has defeated aliens as well as Cincinnati.

You guessed it.

Captain Steven Hiller

Kick the tires and light the fires.
Good hunting.


Note: This time, I will not forget to note that Independence Day is one of the top 5 movies ever made. Not an opinion. Fact.

Pick ‘n Pop: Tech loses

March 5, 2009

There’s just so much anger revolving around last night’s game that it’s hard to put into word. We’ve always preached to not whine about the refs, but we just can’t help it.

Was that for real? Like really for real? If the ACC wants Duke and UNC to get through with great records, then fine. But at least come out and say it, lest you almost lay a hand on Hansborough and get an intentional foul. But Jeff Allen getting mauled? Oh, that just speaks to how rough the league can be. Like we’ve said before, it’s a team of Kobe’s and Lebron’s.

So, so angry.

That being said, Tech gave up 6 points from d’oh! steals at the point and missed at least 4 lay-ups. The refs were terrible, but not the main reason we lost.

UNC is very, very good. One more 30-foot three pointer and the remote was going through the wall. (Same can be said for the phrase “Pick ‘n Pop”. What the hell did that even mean?)

So whatevs. As the Northerner pointed out, we may need another hero to pull us through. Someone who has saved more than just a basketball season…


We are officially calling the game against FSU is a must-win. Here’s why:

We are assuming that 2 wins are needed to ensure an NCAA bid. We have FSU left in the regular season, plus any games in the tournament.

Most likely, we will be the 8th seed in the ACC tournament, first playing Miami (another must-win). Our next game? UNC or Duke.

So there you have it. Must-win*. Worst words ever**.

*obviously “must-win” is technically false, as we can always win the ACC tournament to get a bid

**also not actually true, as the words “we’re out of beer” will make a grown man cry


There, that feels better.


Wednesday Recap

March 5, 2009

So a lot of sports news went down yesterday/this morning. Let’s recap what happened:

1. We lost. At home. Again. Though we did hold our own against the number 2 team in the nation. But we still had the opportunity to win if we had taken some smarter shots. But that is neither here nor there. We can’t go back and replay the game, so we must look forward to FSU and see that it is really our very last chance to make it into the NCAA Tourney. ESPN this morning said that we were now part of the the “first four out” along with Maryland, so if we beat FSU, we will be .500 in the ACC and have a much better chance of getting in than we do now. Everyone say your prayers starting tonight.

On a related note, I want to preface this with the disclaimer that I don’t like basketball, was never good at it, and do not claim to know anything about it, but can someone tell me if the whole foul-at-the-end-of-the-game-so-they-are-forced-to-make-free-throws-rather-than-field-goals gameplan has ever worked?

2. T.O. got his ass released. What a douche. I hope no other team signs him and he ends up doing commentary on ESPN/ABC and gets in an on air fight with Keyshawn Johnson.

3. Manny Ramirez finally got a deal with the Dodgers. Two years, $45 million. So, after all the moaning and groaning, the forgetting what knee he hurt, the intentionally sitting out an important game, all the other shit he gave the Sox, the refusing of Dodger offers 80 times, and the being a complete dickhead, Manny made $5 million more than what the Red Sox were offering in the first place. Let’s hope being labeled as a spoiled brat who cries when he doesn’t get his way was worth it.

4. On the other side, Kurt Warner lowered his proposal to the Cardinals from $14-16 million/year to $11.5 million/year, and then signed with them for two years.

5. Japan kicked off the World Baseball Classic early this morning with a 4-0 win over China. Japan has so many good players that Ichiro played right field, the fat kid position. They’re going to win this thing again, hands down.

6. Some more bits of news: The Ravens resigned Ray Lewis. The Coast Guard officially called off the search for the two lost NFL players and the other operator of the boat they were on. The Cavs and Celtics clinched playoff berths. ARod might be out of the WBC due to a bum hip.

That’s all we got right now, but if any other breaking news comes out today, rest assured, we’ll break it.

Recap of the weekend

March 2, 2009

Despite the snow, some people still have work… unlike the teacher still sleeping at my house. Lucky jerk.

Anyways, a lot of important sports news went down this weekend, so let’s go over it, shall we?

1. We lost to Duke. It was a tough loss since we played well and stayed in it until the end. But, as always, Duke had the refs on their side to help them eek out another win. One play stands out in my mind. It’s always been my understanding that if you pick up your pivot foot, then you need to dribble or it’s traveling. According to this clip, I’m wrong. Kids should not be allowed to watch Duke games if they’re just starting out in the sport and want to learn the rules of the game. Though if they did, they will learn one key rule: Duke doesn’t commit fouls. It’s just your eyes playing a trick on you.

2. The Patriots traded, not only Matt Cassel, but also Mike Vrabel, to the Chiefs for a single second-round pick. Now a lot of people are scratching their heads on this one, but to me, it makes some sense. Not a lot. But some. Vrabel is at the end of his career and has served the Pats very well, but the defense is getting older and they need to get much younger in both the linebackers and secondary. Keeping him won’t help that very much.

Cassel is a good quarterback, but Brady is better. You can’t have two $14 million+ qbs on the same team with one of them twiddling his thumbs all season. Also, Cassel was good this year, with a great receiving corps and excellent QB coach, nevermind a great OC and a genius in Belichick. Hell, I might be able to win a few games with all that going for me. Before we keep on slobbering all over him, let’s see what he can do in KC to see if the Pats got shortchanged on this trade.

3. The National’s GM has quit. Whupdee doo, who the hell cares. The Nats suck and this is probably an upgrade. Hey, at least you still have Wily Mo Pena. And great concession stands.

4. Two NFL players went on a fishing trip and haven’t come back. Let’s hope they got a little disoriented and decided to stay in Mexico for a few days.

5. The Broncos tried to trade Jay Cutler to the Bucs in a three-way deal for Matt Cassel. Now Cutler is pissed and won’t talk to the Broncos. “Was Cassel worth it?! Can he love you like I do?!” Cutler sobbed as he ran into the locker room.

6. Apparently the Dodgers and Manny were only $1.5 million away from a deal, but nothing happened. I think now it’s just down to Manny being greedy and the Dodgers holding firm on principle alone. This has gotten real boring, real fast.

7. The Red Sox beat the Twins. Yayyy, they now have one spring training win other than Boston College. It’s sad, but I actually can’t wait for the WBC to start and have some pseudo-meaningful baseball being played.

8. Finally, A-Rod met with baseball officials for two hours. I’m sure nothing got accomplished because Bud Selig just wants all of this to go away. He is probably one of the worst commissioners ever in any sport. A-rod won’t get penalized and no changes will come in terms of testing or anything.

There you go. In case you slept through the weekend, that is what happened in the sports world over the last few days. Now go shovel your driveway.