Archive for the ‘Syracuse Orange’ Category

HateFest 2009: Why we hate… Syracuse

August 6, 2009

This one is going to be tough. We might be reaching here on this one. Syracuse is like the pathetic little Chihuahua shaking when it sees it’s own shadow. It’s too unfair to go after them when they are down like this. Oh well, here we go.

The Team:

They haven’t done anything of merit in the last few years following a very productive 14 seasons where they came out with 11 bowl appearances and winning 9 of them. Their team is one of the top 15 D-1A football programs with the most wins in their programs history (shockingly, we’re #19) with 674. That rank is surely to go down in the coming years. They have won one National Championship in football, with that big boy coming in 1959. They just got a new coach, Doug Marrone, and we shall see how long he holds this position. I’m going with not that long because he is coming off a coaching job with the Saints, and Syracuse is a lot more GD cold in the winter than New Orleans.

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The Town:

I have a friend in Syracuse and he claims the town to be made up of “college students and white trash”. I mean let’s be honest, most college towns are like that. But not many college towns are that f@#king cold. Syracuse is not that much more north than where I am, but it’s like the tundra up there compared to anywhere else. Plus it is an old industrial town and most of the industry is trying to get the hell out. That is not good news for Syracusians.

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The Fans and Students and Alumni:

You don’t hear much from the fans because they haven’t really had much to talk about recently. Their basketball team is decent, though not the powerhouse it used to be. The only thing they have going for them nowadays is their lacrosse team who tears shit up. Good for them. They need something to lift their spirits.

As for alumni, there is no shortage of big guns. We have Art Monk, Carmello Anthony, Jim Nance, Larry Csonka, Ernie Davis, Gary Gait, David Fucking Tyree, Marvin Harrison, Donovan McNabb, The Powell Brothers, and of course Jim Brown.

As for the non-athletic alumni we have Joe Biden, Robert Jarvik (!), Bob Costas, Mike Tirico, Dick Clark, and Vanessa Williams.

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Other:

Some things that are not really hate-fillers but more of “feel bad for them” points: They play in the Carrier Dome. POS. If they didn’t have a dome though, they would all have severe cases of hypothermia during the football season, so they really have no choice.

Their team name was changed to the Orange in 2004 from the Orangemen, since that was offensive to Native Americans (I’m guessing?). However, a much more important team name change was earlier when they had their name changed to the Orangemen. The previous name? The Saltine Warriors. I shit you not. I wonder why they changed their name from the Saltine Warriors? Was it offensive to crackers? Was that joke too easy?

The final reason why we hate the Orange is really a reason why they should hate us. After the conferences were getting reshuffled and everyone (including us) got put into the Big East, there was talk that some teams would be moving to the ACC. Boston College and Miami were two of the teams. The third team was Syracuse. However, we all know how this history played out and we got the invite rather than them, leaving them stuck in the Big East for eternity, constantly trying to make a name for themselves but always watching that boulder roll back down to the bottom of the hill like a modern day Sisyphus. So I think I speak for all Hokies when I say, “We are sorry for taking your place in the ACC, Syracuse. But not really. We deserved it. We’ve proven it. Miami has proven nothing. Get mad at them.”

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