Archive for the ‘stupid UVA’ Category

Highlights from Week 2 of College Football

September 14, 2009

There are only two highlights from this week in college football.

1. We won. We hung 52 points on Marshall with most of those coming from the offense! It’s how it should be done and we did it. Good job, Hokies.

2. This. No words are needed. Enjoy.

HateFest 2009: Why we hate…UVA – Part II

September 2, 2009

Oh there are so many reasons, but I can’t put some into words. Those that I can can be found below:

1. Their fans are pathetic. Everyone who went to Tech knows why. They wear ties and sundresses to the game. If they go at all. They have gotten sternly talked to by Al Groh because even HE admits they’re fucking pathetic. Most of their fans strike me as the kind of people who are relatively straight-laced in high school and then leave for college and turn into those annoying “I love alcohol and why haven’t I tried this until now” kind of people who don’t know how to handle their booze and end up puking on your new couch.

I went to a concert at UVA freshman year and the band had to warn the guys at the front three times because these drunken ass frat boys were trying to start a mosh pit and were pushing and body-checking a girl who had the bad luck of finding herself in the middle of them. The band eventually stopped playing to wait until the dumbasses stopped their stupid shit. It was an OAR concert.

2. They further the stupid ass southern concept that “if you wear pastel polo shirts/pastel shorts and boat shoes you must be wealthy”. You look ridiculous. And if you do wear pastel polos and pastel shorts here is a word of advice: they aren’t mix-and-match. Certain colors go with other certain colors. Unfortunately this trend had moved to Tech when I was there and into my fraternity as well. All I could think of is how stupid the people at Tech were for following this dumbass trend brought down from UVA. It was a sad day.

3. UVA fans and alumni have a very unhealthy obsession with Thomas Jefferson. We get it. He established your school. Whoop-dee-doo. Don’t get me wrong, he was a great politician and founder of our country and did great things for our young nation. But there is no reason you need to fellate the man. He’s dead. He won’t feel anything.

4. Can’t really hate on their football team too much since they haven’t really wronged us in a while. Football is the only sport (other than softball) that we lead the overall series. Our record all time is 48-35-5. We haven’t lost to them since we have been in the ACC. I’m wondering if they are regretting their hard lobbying for us to be brought over to the ACC.

That’s all I can think of at this moment, but if I remember anything else I’ll let you know.

Basketball Game #25: UVA

February 18, 2009
In between all of the swearing and remote throwing, we haven’t really put anything up about Tech basketball this year. We know. It’s on us. We’ve disappeared like Jeff Allen on offense.

But now the boys need our help. We seem to be squarely on the bubble going into a must win tonight at UVA. And good lord do we love beating UVA.

Anyone else remember chants of “Wait until basketball season” every time we beat them in football? So do we.

We know the hero will help us out. It always does. We also know that the team reads our site. The aforementioned Mr. Allen is shown here doing his best impression of our wave to our dispatched football opponents:


As for our hero, we have to go with what works. After sifting through the 30 baseball posts by The Northerner, we found our man that took down the Cavaliers during the fall:


ACC Championship Game: So it’s come to this…

December 5, 2008
First off, let us say this:


Seriously, the ACC Championship game. Are you serious?!?! Who cares how we got here!! We made it, and in the process, beat UVA and kept them out of a bowl. What more could anyone ask for in a single Saturday?

There’s not too much to talk about for the Annual Drubbing of UVA. Well, there might be, but we’re too tired/buzzed to go over it.

But we do want to hit one point. The 4th down from the goal line. Here’s how it played out:
Are we going for it? Yes. Awesome, love the call.

Shot gun with Boone? AWESOME. Is this Voldemort’s redeeming moment as Offensive Coordinator?

He’s just going to run the ball up the middle, right……. remote control through the wall.

A MISDIRECTION DRAW PLAY?!?!?!?! There is no amount of anger that can possibly describe our feelings at that moment. The defense is coming full bore towards the backfield. We have an over-powering force getting the ball. He is NOT going to fall backwards at full speed.
But noooooooooooooo. He does a fake hand off, which basically means he is standing perfectly still for 2 seconds while the defense blasts the offensive line.
We often say we don’t know much about the particulars of football. But we KNOW that the play called on this occasion was the dumbest thing in the history of life. Way dumber than Joey.

But we love beating UVA. Love it. Until next time…


So we play BC for the 4th time in 14 months. This is getting to be redundant. They beat us in the regular season. We beat them when it matters.

But seriously, this game is going to be one of the toughest we play all season. The Eagles are hot, and their strength lies in their run defense. Unless you’ve watched no football this year, you know we aren’t going to be passing on them.

Our offense is more predictable than a 27-year-old girl living in Arlington. This game could end up 3-2.

But this is what we live for. Conference Championships. BCS bowls. You know who wins their conference in a down year? Great teams. We assume that’s what we want to be, even if the athletic department seems hell-bent against it.

Its time to roll, kids. Time to get it done when it matters.




Big ups to The Bull for the exact prediction last week. In honor of beating UVA and gettingt he score on the nose, he is a proud recipient of the Commonwealth Cup.

Best picture ever? The cup. The Lunch Pail. At UVA. Best picture ever.

Let’s hit up this week’s completely amatuer picks.

C Gally: 24 – 16 VT, Macho touchdown, Boone rushing touchdown

The Bull: 13 – 7 VT

The Northerner: 17 – 14 VT

Wright: 20 – 17 VT

Lady Wright: 14 – 9 VT

Poppa Gally: 17 – 14 VT, ONE blocked kick (really taking it down a notch)

CMU Football Analyst: 17 – 6 BC (seriously, he’s becoming our new Lee Corso)

The DiP: 23 – 17 VT, Boone scores twice (giggity)

G Way: 24 – 10 VT

Maniak: 17 – 14 VT

B Dubs: 24 – 20 VT

Bobby P: 27 – 13 VT

Our opponent prediction comes from a good buddy, good friend, and total tool bag known only as Riescher: 24 – 21 BC, all defensive scores (except for the FG, obviously)

Good luck to all, and to all a good night.


Not even a question.


Game 12: We go to the ACC Championship, UVA stays home for bowl season

November 28, 2008
Soooooo…. that just happened. 7 points on offense against Duke. It’s a damn good thing Macho scored on that interception, as we would have no doubt turned the ball over again.

We turned the ball over more than… some sort of… turnover machine or something. Which is retty much what our offense has become.

Seriously, that was freaking embarrassing. There’s no 2 ways about it.

Though, it was just about perfect.

Not only did we get the win, but the offense was so obviously terrible that Voldemort cannot hide behind the victory.

At the very least, a wide receiver scored a touchdown… ELEVEN GAMES INTO THE SEASON. Wish that was a joke.

Bu we won’t dwell on it. Drinking started at 1:30 and ended at 1:30, so the day was quite awesome. Despite the fact that Blacksburg somehow relocated to Siberia at game time.

We’d rant more, but the turkey is calling.

But we won, and we find that any reason to post this picture is worth it.


So this is the week. UVA week. God, we hate UVA. There’s no two ways to say it. They are just awful. Everything about them.

Their fight song is the New Year’s song. Come on. Be original one time.

They are also the victims of the greatest non-douchebag prank ever.

So not only can we lock up a spot in the title game, but we also give the Whos their 7th loss. As much as we enjoy seeing them play on the blue turf, spending more time on that campus is also a pretty bad punishment.

Thanks to the holiday, we are phoning this preview in.

What should you look for in this game? Nothing. This may be the ugliest game you will watch all year. They will probably use this game to torture Guantanimo Bay inmates.

But root your heart out. We may just back our way into another ACC Championship game.



Let’s hit up some predictions.

Last week’s winner is the always impressive Geoff Way. He’s impressive because we’re not sure anyone else could stay in college for as long as he has and not be the son of a billionaire.

So here’s an image of another guy we thought would never graduate.

Only going to Duke saved him from being punched in the face on campus.



Let’s jump into the picks this week:

C Gally: 15 – 13 VT, one safety

G Way: 21 – 10 VT

Wright: 20 – 14 VT

Lady Wright: 21 – 7 VT

CMU Football Analyst: 29 – 16 UVA (hope you liked your time with us, Mr. Analyst)

The Bull: 17 – 14 VT

Meet Bag: 27 – 17 VT

B Dubs: 10 – 0 VT, pick 6

The D-i-P: 13- 10 VT

African Ambassador (now in Philly, much more dangerous): 16 – 6 VT, no offensive touchdowns

Newcomer Bobby P: 17 – 6 VT, one defensive touchdown

Papa Gally: 28 – 7 VT, 3bks

We go back to our old friend, UVA graduate school alum, prior predictor, and overall turd sandwich BK to give us a prediction of 14 – 10 Hokies. He claims that the first five minutes of Role Models will be more entertaining than the entire game. Not having seen the movie, we can’t say we disagree.

Good luck to everyone. I’m pretty sure I’m winning this week.


Father Karras rocked the house last week. Not his fault Voldemort can’t get the offense to read above a 10th grade level.

And we hate UVA. I mean, everything about them. We can go on and on about Zima and pretty drinks and all that. But we’re better than that.

We could make our hero some kind of non-Smirnoff Ice beverage. But that’s just two easy.

This is too important. We need to make it happen.

Where do we go?

We go with someone that gets things done, even if it’s not conventional. Sound familiar?

You guessed it.

James Bond from Casino Royale.

Bad. Ass.


Another group of UVA seniors graduate without a win over Tech

November 28, 2007

There is nothing like beating UVA. Nothing. From the stadium having 40% Hokies to the crushing of their ACC dreams, Saturday was just spectacular. Not that we didn’t all almost have heart attacks when we were losing, but still.

First off: WE BLOCKED A FREAKING PUNT. Anyone else jump up and down on their couch? Blocking punts is the bees knees (yeah, I said it). Granted we got a whole field goal out of it. But it was still awesome.

Hey, does anyone know who started UVA? I could really use an inspirational quote from whoever it might be.

This two quarterback thing is great. Can it really be… are the players not letting their egos get in way of a good gameplan?

That’s another thing: Stinespring has been impressive. We’re still settling for field goals because of offensive stalls, and the reverse was a TERRIBLE call. But the offense looks 10 times better than before. I can’t believe those words are coming out of my mouth.

The D is beastly as always. Vince Hall is my hero, replacing Leonardo.

As for the ACC Championship Game, we’re there. That was step one. The goal of this season (for non-delusional people) was to win the ACC. No matter what happened during the regular season, we’d have to win this game to make a BCS bowl. So we’re there.

I think we are going to win. We have the momentum, Hall and Tyrod back, and there will be twice as many Hokies in Jacksonville as Eagles.

So here we go. You want to call Tech an elite program? Elite programs win these games year in and year out. Let’s make it happen.


PS – Thoughts and prayers to all Skins fans out there and Sean’s family. Redskins fans (as much as they annoy me) are some of the best fans in the NFL.

Game preview: Virginia Tech vs Virginia

November 23, 2007

Alright, folks, here we are again. One year removed from the 17-0 Hokies domination over the Hoos. It’s neither here nor there, but let us all be reminded that last year, UVA didn’t even cross midfield! Quite a performance, but then again, it’s not very hard to make UVA look like a bunch of creampuffs. Of course the trash talking comes with this matchup, and especially this year since the game is worth so much. So, here is what we can expect.

UVA – Sporting the nifty picnic style of tailgating, the Hoos offer a variety of delectable treats that range from caviar and sardines to Zima and Smirnoff Ice. How can you go wrong? Standing pretty in their coats and ties and pretty little dresses, the Cavaliers tailgating scene reminds me a lot of being at the Preakness. Maybe the Hoos will put prize horse Street Sense in the game.

VT – Let’s be real. The Hokies certainly know how to put together a tailgate. After attending numerous away game tailgates, it is quite obvious that not only do we know how to travel, but we know how to tailgate. Take your pick: chicken, steak, barbecue, BEER, LIQUOR, etc., etc., etc. There is no other way to say this…Hoos, get a notepad and learn from your neighbors.

Advantage: Hokies.

UVA – OK, so we have to give props to Jameel Sewell. Quite frankly, he deserves mention of the ACC MVP. He certainly is not the best player by any means, but he is most certainly the most valuable player on that squad. He has made countless plays to help UVA get into position to win most of their ballgames. Converted wide receiver Mikell Simpson has done an admirable job in his past four games, racking up nearly 400 yards. The big point of emphasis that needs to be made is this…WHO HAVE THEY PLAYED?? Answer? NO ONE!

VT – Is Branden Ore ready to have his coming out party? For whatever reason, it seems like Saturday is the time. He is firing on all cylinders and finally looks healthy. Sean Glennon will lead the way in our passing attack while Tyrod Taylor will certainly keep the UVA offense honest with his dangerous arm and legs. Justin Harper is simply a man on a mission and the rest of his partners will certainly get the job done. The Hokies have put up 350+ yards in each of the last 3 games and we shouldn’t expect any less against UVA.

Advantage: Hokies.

UVA – Chris Long. Yikes! This man is absolutely ferocious. We should expect to see many double teams as the son of Howie Long will be quite a task to handle. On the other side, Jeffrey Fitzgerald is also putting together a very nice season. Together, those two will be a force to reckon with on the edges and the Hokies have to be careful because one blind side hit and we easily turn it over. Outside of that, the Hoos have a good core of linebackers, but their secondary is poor. The Hoos actually are ranked in the top 10 in points allowed, but again, who have they played?

VT – Umm…is this really necessary? We all know the type of defense we have. Chris Ellis is a man on fire, while we have one of the best trios of linebackers to go along with our elite corners in Brandon Flowers and Macho Harris. Since the stumbling at LSU, the Hokies have never looked back and have peaked at the right time. While we shouldn’t expect the Hokies to keep the Hoos from crossing midfield, they should easily hold the UVA offense in check.

Advantage: Hokies.

Special Teams
UVA – Outside of Chris Gould (PK) and Ryan Weigand (P), the Cavs really don’t impose much of a threat on special teams.

VT – Eddie Royal. He broke the record for all-time punt return yards in the ACC and will continue to extend his record. As always, Jud Dunlevy will pretty much make any field goal and Bowden will average around 45 yards a punt.

Advantage: Hokies.

Game Outlook
This will be the 89th meeting between the two teams and the game has NEVER been more important than this one. While the emotion advantage goes to UVA, it certainly will not be enough. Tech is too fast, too athletic, and has played a much tougher schedule. To be quite honest, this game shouldn’t be close, but if it is, then the Cavs stand a good chance. However, expect the Hokies to roll over the Cavs and punch their ticket to Jacksonville where they will get a rematch with Boston College.

Fearless Score Predictions
BDubs: 35-14
CGally: 28 – 10
BBull: 31 – 10
Steve: 24 – 20*
Dip: 24 – 20*
Tim: 21 – 20
Lady Gally: 24 – 17
Papa Wilhelm: 28-7
Papa Gally: 28 – 14


How Will the Hokies Finish?

November 7, 2007

Everyone fully recovered from the BC loss? After the huge win over GT, the team made it known they were and that there would be no late season meltdown the Hokies have accustomed themselves to over the past decade. So, how do the Hokies finish?

Next up: FSU – For whatever reason, fans keep bringing up the fact we haven’t beaten Bowden’s Noles in over 30 years. What they forget is that we haven’t played them every year for the past 30 years; just three times, all of which were played outside of Lane Stadium. This game means a lot, no doubt, but it wouldn’t hurt to lose it – Ws over Miami and UVA in following weeks would be enough to get us to the ACC title game. That being said, FSU has plenty of playmakers and Weatherford has already shown that when he gets hot, it can be trouble for opposing teams. Regardless, if the Hokies of GT can show up this week, it will be good night Seminoles. Protection of the QB, Pass rush, and Protection of the football will win us the game. Let’s see if Stiney is given full control of the offense again this week. Last week, Beamer gave him full control (something he has never had) and look what happened. Let’s see if there is a repeat. VT – 23, FSU – 10

On deck: Miami – Let’s get it straight. This team looks AWFUL. It really wouldn’t surprise me to see the Canes lose to BooVA this weekend in the last game ever at the Orange Bowl. You think they regret firing Coker yet? Bottom line: Vince Hall will be back against these guys and it will be this awesome group of seniors’ last game in Lane Stadium and there is no scenario where they should lose. Miami is lost and they will be no closer to being found when they make the trip to Blacksburg. VT – 24, UM – 7

In the hole: Virginia – OK, so this game is getting bigger by the weekend and by the time the Hokies visit Charlottesville, the Coastal Division may be up for grabs. Don’t get me wrong, UVA has gotten as many breaks as one could possibly get with out thinking the refs are throwing the games, but this game might actually be worth something. I wonder how Al Groh was able to get the college football gods on his side like this? Prediction: The Hokies are too fast and will already be on a roll having crushed the state of Florida 47-17. By this time, the OLine should be at least steady and the defense will be at its peak while Tyrod is finally feeling what it’s like to decimate the fragile, wine and cheese eating Hoos. While the Hokies cruise into the ACC title, the Hoos are left wondering what they should pack for Boise. Coat and ties get crushed, but by then Groh’s job is at least safe for another five years! VT – 35, Pansies – 10

Charlie Weis owes me $50 (and other thoughts on the weekend)

November 6, 2007

I root for Notre Dame in one game each year. I want them to go 1-11. Blasphemy, I know. I should be rooting for them to lose at all times. Why am I so crazy?

Three years ago, a simple bet was made between myself and a Midshipman. I bet him $50 that a 16-seed would beat a 1-seed before Navy beat Notre Dame. A fun bet, no doubt. The rule was that it would span a sports year (Fall through Summer).

So why does Charlie Weis owe me those lost $50? Let me give the situation:

  • Tie game
  • 45 seconds left
  • You have the ball at the other team’s 21 yard line
  • 4th and 8
  • You have the ball at the other team’s 21 FREAKING YARD LINE!!!!!

You have to be mentally deficient to not kick a field goal at that point. I’m not saying he was going to make it for sure, but you have to take the chance!! You for sure have a better chance to make 3 points to WIN THE GAME than convert a 4th and 8 for zero points.

You have to question everything that Weis thinks he knows about the game of football. I’m not usually one to second guess, but are you kidding me? I hate you even more than ever Notre Dame. Lose every game by 50 forever.

Other than that, congrats Navy. You have had more big wins in the past 10 years than the Irish. Their best win is still a loss to USC.

Other thoughts from this weekend?

Michigan and Michigan State was on ABC and ESPN in New Jersey this weekend. Apparently there wasn’t enough mediocre football to go around.

Wasn’t there a Big Ten Network made so we didn’t have to watch Northwestern and Iowa on ESPN?

Darren McFadden is inhuman (an Irish… maybe not). How hard is it to be his coach? “Hand off… left this time.”

LSU players have to be the toughest in the country. How many close games are they going to win this season?

Stupid UVA.

Real glad FSU is all fired up for their season after beating BC. Can’t wait to take them down a peg on Saturday.

USF is just not that good.

Syracuse vs. Pittsburgh should never ever be televised, even locally. What was their pull, 500 viewers? Add that to those in attendance, and you might break 576.

Real glad I have Adrian Peterson on my 3 fantasy teams.

Kansas looks legit, and they’ve earned their ranking. But I still think they get smoked by Texas, and definitely by Oklahoma.

Charlie Weis sucks. And he owes me $50.

So it was a good weekend. I still have the coming March for a 16-seed to pull a victory. Let’s go Hampton!!!