Archive for the ‘Steely McBeam’ Category

The Only Hope for a Unified Ireland: Your Pittsburgh Steelers

March 17, 2009

Ok, maybe that’s a little much. But it was announced today that President Obama selected Steelers owner Dan Rooney as the new U.S. Ambassador to Ireland. He will be replacing the McManus brothers from Boondock Saints.

And as the N pointed out to me, this story culminates in the two things that define your humble editor (other than Virginia Tech and his overall awesomeness): being Irish and the Steelers.

Obviously, I am in total support of this. Mr. Rooney has been able to garner unabashed support from one group of sport loving drunks, so why not another?

There is still no word on the rumor that Steely McBeam will be his bodyguard.
What this announcement really tells us is that this is the greatest week ever. Selection Sunday, St. Patrick’s Day, four days of basketball watching and bracket shredding, and now this. (Admittedly, the last really only pertains to Steeler fans.)

So rejoice, and raise a glass tonight to the man who will represent us to the greatest country in the world.

Nationals just keep getting better

March 2, 2009
(New one on the left, old one on the right)

The Nationals recently unveiled their “improved” mascot, Screech the Eagle. This has got the be the last thing that Jim Bowden did before he resigned, right? I mean this is just one huge middle finger to the Nationals as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like the original mascot was a tough-looking guy who you were scared of but then again not many pro mascots of successful teams are. Look at Wally the Green Monster, Mr. Met and Steely McBeam for example:

These guys aren’t the most frightening felt covered friends in the world, let’s be honest. But their fans love them and there really is no need for a “redesign”. I think the old Screech the Eagle got the job done and every child who went to a Nationals game slept well that night.

Though now looking at it, the new Screech the Eagle does scare the crap out of me, but in a more “deranged chicken who just found out what you do with her eggs” sort of way. And I don’t think that’s the direction the Nats really were looking to go.

Whaaa…. Where are we? Oh, games 8 and 9.

November 6, 2008
Did something happen 2 weeks ago? We’re not quite sure. We think there was some sort of game, but that was probably just a dream.

Not quite though. Kind of a nightmare.

Seriously, we might not win another game. We’re not usually pessimistic. But there is certainly a better than 10% chance we lose to every opponent we play.

There’s not too many thoughts over here. You know, other than anger. Unbridled anger only a bad sports team could give to a person. Though we’re pretty sure that doesn’t count as a thought.

I mean, what can you say? Cory Holt? Dude doesn’t even spell “Corey” right. How can he possibly quarterback a winning team with Stinespring as a coach?

We’ll tell you how: Thursday night in Blacksburg.

That’s right. We’re still picking us to win out, take our Division, and beat some Eagle f’ers in front of 27 of their fans down in Florida again.

See, after this game, we’ll be healthy again. I don’t care what the medical staff says. What do they know? They’re just doctors.

If you get the reference, you can be our friends.


As for this upcoming game, it’s certainly not going to be easy. The Twerps are actually good (shocking, we know). Though they tend to play to the level of their opponent. Read into that however you want, but it most likely means a close game.

And we know what you’re expecting here. Some sort of “Friedgen is fat” joke. But no. We’re bigger than that. We don’t want to bite off more than we can chew. The consequences could be HUGE. But we won’t go there.

Instead we’ll show you the best Halloween costume ever:

It was much better than this tool bag.

We work hard. We play hard.

We have a great chance in this game, if only because it’s Thursday night in Blacksburg. If the special teams can do ANYTHING right, we’ll win by 50.

Our home crowd now becomes the most important player on our team. It’s really the only thing we can rely on.

Just remember kids, the best way to spread Hokie cheer is screaming loud for all to hear.

Corniest thing we’ve ever written.


(Hero, after the predictions. I don’t know why I write this anymore)



Last week, we had a tie between Wright and the CMU Football Analyst for the closest. They both picked FSU to win, so here’s your trophy guys.

Try not to pawn that baby too soon.


Now, on to this week:

CGally: 35 – 14 VT, eleven field goals and a safety.

CMU Football Analyst: 31 – 24, VT

The Northerner: 27 – 13 VT, halftime show will be Friedgen v. Mangino: jell-o match. Winner eats loser. (we’re all losers in that one)

Wright: 21 – 20 VT

Lady Wright: 31 – 28 VT

Maniak: 28 – 9 VT

The DiP: He submitted a bunch based on the qb starting. Luckily he’s a toolbag, so we’ll say he’s going with 20 – 17 VT.

B-Dubs: 19 – 14 VT

Meet Bag: 30 – 24 VT

The Bull: 23 – 17 VT

Poppa Gally: 9 – 6 VT

We will also be adding a new Fan of the Other Team Prediction.

So here is BK, an avid Terp fan, friend of your humble editor, and overall turd sandwich: 9 – 8 Maryland.

He added some stuff about the Vicks, to which we went, “Who?”


Our heroes are just sucking lately. Ponce de Leon? Whose crack ass idea was that?

No messing around this week though. We’ve pulled out all the stops.

We need to get some cool back. There are a few things truly cool about Tech. Mike’s burgers are cool. Basketball games against Duke and UNC are cool. My senior year apartment is cool (in the winter). And Thursday night football games at home are ultra-cool.

So we need the coolest man of all time. The top dog.

You guessed it.

Steve McQueen

Best Great Escape pun gets their own trophy.