Archive for the ‘Sig Hansen’ Category

Game #29: Trust Funds (B)

March 4, 2009
We don’t even know where we stand any more. We feel like we’re halfway through our first viewing of Snatch. We’ve stopped trying to figure things out and are just hanging on for the ride.

Does beating UNC alone get us in? Would beating FSU get us in? FSU and one in the ACC tourney? No one knows.

ESPN still has us in right now, which is ridiculous. Maryland has every edge over us, and they are listed as the next four out. Take anything you hear with a grain of salt. Especially if it’s from us.

So here we are against North Carolina. We need the win badly, but we’ve heard a rumor that the Tar Heels are fairly good at basketball. The game is at Cassell, where ranked teams go to… win by a few points.

Sorry, that was a bit of a downer. Let’s concentrate on the opportunity in front of us. National TV against a 2nd ranked team that no one likes. (They may not be as hated as Duke, but people still enjoy seeing them lose.) They also have one of the most hated / annoying players in the league in Tyler Hanborough.

Nice Tommy Callahan rugby shirt, douche.


A win here would be huge.

And to pull off a huge win, we need a huge hero. Tenacious D couldn’t get it done. Not really their fault, though. The refs eff’d us gently.

We can’t get cute this time. We have to bring it hard.

In Sig we trust.

GO HOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!

ACC Championship Game: So it’s come to this…

December 5, 2008
First off, let us say this:


Seriously, the ACC Championship game. Are you serious?!?! Who cares how we got here!! We made it, and in the process, beat UVA and kept them out of a bowl. What more could anyone ask for in a single Saturday?

There’s not too much to talk about for the Annual Drubbing of UVA. Well, there might be, but we’re too tired/buzzed to go over it.

But we do want to hit one point. The 4th down from the goal line. Here’s how it played out:
Are we going for it? Yes. Awesome, love the call.

Shot gun with Boone? AWESOME. Is this Voldemort’s redeeming moment as Offensive Coordinator?

He’s just going to run the ball up the middle, right……. remote control through the wall.

A MISDIRECTION DRAW PLAY?!?!?!?! There is no amount of anger that can possibly describe our feelings at that moment. The defense is coming full bore towards the backfield. We have an over-powering force getting the ball. He is NOT going to fall backwards at full speed.
But noooooooooooooo. He does a fake hand off, which basically means he is standing perfectly still for 2 seconds while the defense blasts the offensive line.
We often say we don’t know much about the particulars of football. But we KNOW that the play called on this occasion was the dumbest thing in the history of life. Way dumber than Joey.

But we love beating UVA. Love it. Until next time…


So we play BC for the 4th time in 14 months. This is getting to be redundant. They beat us in the regular season. We beat them when it matters.

But seriously, this game is going to be one of the toughest we play all season. The Eagles are hot, and their strength lies in their run defense. Unless you’ve watched no football this year, you know we aren’t going to be passing on them.

Our offense is more predictable than a 27-year-old girl living in Arlington. This game could end up 3-2.

But this is what we live for. Conference Championships. BCS bowls. You know who wins their conference in a down year? Great teams. We assume that’s what we want to be, even if the athletic department seems hell-bent against it.

Its time to roll, kids. Time to get it done when it matters.




Big ups to The Bull for the exact prediction last week. In honor of beating UVA and gettingt he score on the nose, he is a proud recipient of the Commonwealth Cup.

Best picture ever? The cup. The Lunch Pail. At UVA. Best picture ever.

Let’s hit up this week’s completely amatuer picks.

C Gally: 24 – 16 VT, Macho touchdown, Boone rushing touchdown

The Bull: 13 – 7 VT

The Northerner: 17 – 14 VT

Wright: 20 – 17 VT

Lady Wright: 14 – 9 VT

Poppa Gally: 17 – 14 VT, ONE blocked kick (really taking it down a notch)

CMU Football Analyst: 17 – 6 BC (seriously, he’s becoming our new Lee Corso)

The DiP: 23 – 17 VT, Boone scores twice (giggity)

G Way: 24 – 10 VT

Maniak: 17 – 14 VT

B Dubs: 24 – 20 VT

Bobby P: 27 – 13 VT

Our opponent prediction comes from a good buddy, good friend, and total tool bag known only as Riescher: 24 – 21 BC, all defensive scores (except for the FG, obviously)

Good luck to all, and to all a good night.


Not even a question.


The Penguins Only Hope

May 27, 2008

We know, we know. The North End Zone does not do a preview for the Stanley Cup and everything goes to hell. It’s all our fault. Stop yelling at Adam Hall (even though we haven’t stopped… get us some Jeff Taffe!!).

Word is the Penguins were spotted in Pittsburgh just after the final whistle last night. The rumors are pretty believable, because they certainly didn’t show up in Detroit.

Well now it’s a little late for a preview. We’re already in a hole so deep that not even the skills of one Adam “Cake Eater” Banks could pull us out. So it’s time to get desperate.

Over at the Pensblog, each game is designated a hero. Whether Red and Andy from Shawshank or President Thomas J. Whitmore who saved us from the aliens, there’s always someone to lead us.

But times are too trying. We need the nuclear bomb. We need none other than:

Capt. SIG HANSEN of the Northwestern

To think that we may have never known Sig if not for the Discovery Channel is pretty scary. Though Sig would only be considered a green-horn on a boat captained by Gary Roberts, Sig is the leader of the greatest crab boat of all time. All. Time. (Technically, all the boats in which Jesus was involved were fishing boats.)

We will look to Sig for guidance. Game three is obviously a must win. And the 4 shots we had in game two will not get it done. Sig will know where to drop the pots. He’ll guide us in the choppy seas. Get that man a ticket.

Game three. LET’S GO PENS!!!!