Archive for the ‘Sabathia’ Category

BREAKING NEWS: Sabathia is fat.

February 23, 2009

It looks like a $160 million isn’t enough to get a gym membership in New York these days. Either that or CC is with-child. It could really go either way on this one.

Though, to his advantage, I think it’s safe to say that Sabathia is not taking steroids. That makes at least one Yankee clean. Yay progress!

Oh, and now Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady are poor. A single tear rolls down my cheek.

He can’t afford a shirt, shoes or a shave. Poor guy.

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How to make your Tuesday feel like Monday

February 17, 2009

Want to feel good about yourself, your job, and the economy? Then don’t click this link. I just found out it takes CC Sabathia .52 innings or .51 strikeouts to make my annual salary.

If you click this one, you will find out how your annual salary stacks up against Mark Teixeira. He makes my salary with a quarter of a RBI. I will have to work 478.72 years to make what this asshat makes in a year.

To see how your pathetic salary measures up against a few other players you can go here to start your self-loathing.

I just want to quickly mention that there are no Pittsburgh Pirates on that list, because come on, can anyone even name any current Pirates players? Nate McLouth doesn’t count because he will get traded away before the season starts.