Archive for the ‘polar bears’ Category

More crazy Germans

April 13, 2009

BERLIN – Police say a woman jumped into a polar bear enclosure at Berlin Zoo and was bitten several times on her arms and legs. The woman, who has not been identified, climbed down a fence, over a wide hedge full of thorns and got past a concrete wall before swan diving into the murky moat where the polar bears swim.

One of four bears in the enclosure bit the woman’s arms, legs and back before keepers rescued her out with a life preserver.

What a waste of a life preserver. If the zookeepers left the woman in the moat, which she circumvented several security obstacles in order to enter, it would have killed not one, not two, but three birds with one stone. 1) The crazy lady would have been eaten and thus removed from the worldwide gene pool, in effect helping to make the human race smarter; 2) the zoo would have a good example to use to discourage other people who might, for some reason think jumping into a polar bear enclosure is a good idea; and 3) the bears would have been fed, saving the zoo some money on fish.

This story, of course, has nothing to do with the man who last year, hurdled over a water-filled ditch into Knut’s, the polar bear rejected by his mother, enclosure at the same zoo because he said celebrity polar bear Knut looked “lonely”.

That guy at least had a good reason.