Archive for the ‘opium’ Category

I wish I could have filmed this

June 25, 2009

Anyone have any Cheetos?

SYDNEY, Australia – Wallabies snacking in Tasmania’s legally grown opium poppy fields are getting “high as a kite” and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, a state official said.

Tasmania Attorney-General Lara Giddings told a budget hearing Wednesday that she had recently read about the kangaroo-like marsupials’ antics in a brief on the state’s large poppy industry. Tasmania is the world’s largest producer of legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.

“We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles,” The Mercury newspaper quoted Giddings as telling the hearing. “Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.”

For those of you who don’t know, wallabies are effing awesome. They are essentially small kangaroos. If you go to Australia, they have these things hopping around free in the zoos like we would have deer or donkeys or other boring shit. They have wallabies. They also bring out a wheelbarrow full of corn, lettuce, carrots, and whatnot, and you can scoop some up and hand feed them. If they gave us poppies to feed them I could have died right then and there because my life wouldn’t have gotten any better. And I’m getting married in two weeks (shameless bragging). Bottomline, wallabies are effing awesome on their own(only to be rivaled by sea otters and some penguins), and to have them wandering around in circles after getting high off some opium is hilarious. I wish I could have been there.