Archive for the ‘NASCAR’ Category

Weekend recap

July 27, 2009

You know everyone loves “Wedding Crashers” and the whole concept of “Wedding Season” but when you have to drive from NY to VA three times in four weeks, weddings start to get really friggin’ old.

1. Lance Armstong lost the Tour de France to his Astana teammate. He was not happy or a good loser about it. He was a dick. Someone should tell him that just because he beat cancer, won 7 consecutive Tours, banged Sheryl Crow, had like 5 kids despite only having one nut, and still rakes in the ladies doesn’t mean he can be an asshole when he gets third in the Tour after a 2.5 year retirement. Oh what’s that? He is allowed to do that because of all those things? Oops, my bad.

2. Jimmie Johnson won the Brickyard this weekend, apparently because Montoya got some kind of speeding penalty. At an auto race. I don’t know what that means, and honestly, I couldn’t care less. This is what they do at NASCAR events:

3. Tyson Gay has basically guaranteed that he will “shock the world” at the 100m next month and beat out Usain Bolt. Here’s a little tip, Tyson. You won’t. Bolt has his own dancers. He doesn’t even try to run fast and he beats out the other racers by like 3 seconds. I mean, if you think you can win, then all the power to you, but I just don’t think it will happen. Also, for next time, you might want to wait until like a week before the competition to make these guarantees. Now Bolt will train harder in the next month just in order to beat you out, and secondly, no one will remember that you said this a month from now. If you did it a week before, then everyone would pay attention. But not a month away. Come on, man, thats just elementary stuff.

4. Jim Rice and Rickey Henderson got inducted into the Hall of Fame. No discussion needed here, they were both deserving. Some will argue that Rice shouldn’t have gotten in (ebj – looking at you) but no one will argue the election of the Henderson. He’s stolen more bases than CGally has stolen ladies’ hearts. So that would be at least one. Ba dum dum.

5. The MLB trade talks are ongoing and it looks like Halladay probably won’t be moving before the trade deadline. He’s a free agent next year and has already said that if the BJs don’t trade him then he will be open to testing the market. That way any team who wants him could get hime for the same money they would sign him an extension, and not have to give up an prospects. Shoot for the playoffs next year buddy.

6. Terrell Owens says that suspending Vick for four games this season would be “ridiculous”. This may be the only remotely intelligent thing this manchild has ever said. For the first time in my life I can honestly say, “I agree with T.O.” Oooh, I just got the chills. And a small part of my soul just died.

Weekend Recap

April 27, 2009

Absolutely gorgeous weekend these last few days. It felt like summer. Took the dog to the lake and let him go swimming for the first time this year, went to the Bronx Zoo and saw the animals nap in the heat, and drank some man cans on a rooftop deck while watching a wedding below in Midtown. It was a pretty good weekend. Needless to say, there was also a lot of sports related news that came down the pipe.

1. The NFL Draft was the centerpiece of the weekend. The Lions got Matt Stafford on Friday, to no ones surprise. One somewhat big surprise was that the Jets traded up to the number five slot and picked up Mark “Dirty” Sanchez. Let’s see how he handles the “New York Media”. (For those of you who don’t really get the NY Media it’s like this: You eff up they’ll be calling for your head. You do well, they’ll be unimpressed. Your name is Derek Jeter, they will make excuses for you all day long. That’s it. That’s the New York Media.) The Pats had a very large quantity of draft picks in the second round. Can’t wait to see how they work out. First round = flashy stars, second round = real players.

2. In Virginia Tech draft news, Macho Harris was the only Tech player to be drafted this year, in a pretty shallow draft class from the Hokies. He went in the fifth round with the 157th overall pick to the Iggles. I think we can all agree that we can no longer root for Macho Harris. It’s been fun, but we have principles. They may be few in number and kind of ridiculous, but they’re principles, dammit.

3. In a crash reminiscent of The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Carl Edwards wrecked his car on the final turn of the race and then jogged from his burning car to the finish line to finish 24th. Seven fans were hurt by debris when his car flew into the fence, but no one was seriously injured. The douchenozzle who nudged him to incite the crash eventually won and was doing his burnouts on the track whilst Edwards picked himself out of the flaming car. NASCAR: Nothing but class.

4. The first round of the hockey playoffs are still going on, and the Caps have brought the series with the Rangers to a 3-3 tie, making this next game a must win for both teams. The Rangers looks like crap and the Caps are basically spitting in their faces and getting away with it. Kinda makes you wonder how the Rangers won three games so far.

5. The NBA playoffs are starting to get mildly interesting in that the Cavs swept the Pistons and the Celtics are struggling against the Bulls. The Celtics lost to Chicago in a 2OT thriller and the series is tied at 2-2. Alright this is too tough, because I really don’t care. Moving on.

6. Saving the best for last (if you though I wasn’t going to talk about this, then you’re nucking futs), the Men of Boston embarrassed the Boys of New York in more ways than one. First they have the audacity to make Mariano get his first blown save of the season. Then they have the gall to come back from a 3-run deficit and score 16 runs when the Yankees put up a man-sized 11 runs. Then they put the nail in the coffin by sweeping the series and having Jacoby Ellsbury straight-steal home in the fifth inning. It brought tears to my eyes, it really did. The look on Andy Pettite’s face just paid this month’s rent. Oh by the way, the Sox have now won 10 in a row. They also just added a player to their roster. His name is Dom I. Nation.

That’s all we got for now. If you think we forgot anything, let us know in the comments section. Otherwise, join me in basking in the post Red Sox-Yankees series glow. It’s the only tan I get.

UPDATE: The ‘Skins just signed undrafted QB Chase Daniel from Mizzou. They now have four QBs in Campbell, Collins, Brennan, and Daniel. This means that they are either going to deal one or two of them, or Dan Snyder is starting a collection of sub-par quarterbacks. Sadly, I’m going with the latter.

Kyle and Kurt Busch. Brothers. Bike Cops.

February 23, 2007

For Lent, I have decided to give up not watching NASCAR. That’s right, my February resolution is to follow NASCAR this year. How has it been going?

The first race I watched ended with a .02 second difference between 1st and 2nd and a car crossing the finish line flipped over on fire. I was waiting for two of the drivers in the final wreck to get out of their cars and run to the finish line.

So as I take a look at CNNSI’s driver power rankings (with my guy Tony Stewart #2), I notice Kurt and Kyle Busch’s pictures. I knew they were brothers, but I had no idea who was older… until I saw the pictures (Kurt-right, Kyle-left):

—————————————————————————————————————————————- ——————————————————————–

Gee, I wonder who could be the older one? Kurt looks like the frat guy that played intramural softball as if it was everything in world to him… because it probably was. Kyle looks like he’s 12. He’s more of the freshman at his first keg party. “Beer tastes awful.”

Here’s the question: Will Kurt eventually put his brother in a head lock and give him a noogie after Kyle passes him for a win? And what will Thanksgiving dinner be like: “Could you pass the green beans like I passed your ass in turn 3?”

At least we know grandpa still has it in him: