Archive for the ‘Mt Rushmore’ Category

Mt. Rushmore: First Crushes

March 27, 2009
With the TV Theme Madness in full swing, an interesting argument arose. Who was the ultimate first crush?

Well, we are here to settle it. So let’s have the list.

Winnie Cooper


Oh yes, Winnie. The classic. Winnie may have been the best because she hooked up with Kevin Arnold, which gave us all hope. Since Kevin was the kind of guy that narrated his own life, we felt like if he could hit that, we could hit that.

Topanga Lawrence

Also from the Kevin Arnold approach, Corey Matthews had NO business being with the lovely Topanga. The show also perfectly framed her development from weird girl to normal girl to hot girl.

DJ Tanner

Looking back, she may not have been the end all be all of girls that we remember. But at the time, there wasn’t a guy in 3rd grade that didn’t swoon over the older DJ. She doesn’t have the “dating a dork” syndrome like Winnie and Topanga, but Steve was a pretty cool guy. He was the voice of Aladdin, which was the only Disney movie boys were allowed to like. In fact, Full House may have been responsible for our first regular crush and our first man-crush. (Our current man-crush is Mike Tomlin. Not sure when that will end.)

Alicia “Al” Lambert

Impossible to find a good picture from this show.

Yes, there was a spirited debate over whether or not to include Al in the list. But the fact that she’s in the Bud Light commercial with the ax and chainsaw guys put her over the edge.

She may have been a tomboy at first, but no writer could keep her down. We could all see the awesomeness underneath, even if she went by “Al”.

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There was much consideration for Alex Mack. Since Google Images is already up, we might as well include a picture.

We have no idea what the hell is going on here.

She also hooked up with a dork in 10 Things I Hate About You. And who among us has never yelled, “And he’s back in the game!”

Mount Rushmore of Seinfeld Episodes

March 4, 2009

The Mount Rushmore of Seinfeld episodes, you ask? Yeah, we don’t really know what it means either. But here’s our list:

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Soup Nazi


Yes, we know it’s an obvious pick. But no one can argue the episode’s importance to the show and really, society as a whole. It truly showed how a catch phrase can be born, loved, hated, kind of make a comeback, then retire into the night. That and the episode was hilarious. Mmmmm… Jambalaya!!

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Chinese Restaurant

A truly revolutionary episode. At the time, no other show would have dared to spend the entire episode in one set. It epitomized the tone of the series about nothing. Waiting for a table. That was the entire story. To get 23 minutes of funny out of that is pretty incredible.

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Shrinkage


Another “pushing the envelope” episode. Remember when this was considered “pushing the envelope”? Sadly, man could no longer use the “I was in the pool” excuse after it aired.

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Kenny Roger’s Roasters


The funniest episode in the series. It made the monument based solely on that. Jerry and Kramer switching personalities is genius. It also involves one of the best characters in the series: Bob Sacamano. And who among us has not had broccoli, spit it out, and yelled, “VILE WEED!!!”

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Not on the monument is “The Caddy”, in which George locks his keys in the car at work. The episode is one of the best, but not in the top four. It is worth mentioning, however, because it has one of the funniest lines in the history of television:
“Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner’s here. George is
dead. Call me back.”

Mt. Rushmore of Pizza Toppings

February 26, 2009

If we’re going to go lowest common denominator, then let’s go lowest common denominator.

The best pizza toppings out there:

George Washington – Cheese Pizza

The Original. Sometimes there’s just nothing better than plain cheese pizza. It’s like a warm blanket that wraps you in deliciousness morning, noon, and night. There is no wrong time or temperature to eat good ol’ plain cheese pizza. Just like Washington invented America, cheese pizza invented itself. Even squirrels like it.

Thomas Jefferson – Bacon

Just like Jefferson improved our nation and it’s standing around the known world, there is nothing in the known world that will not improve with added bacon. By itself, it’s delicious. Coupled with literally anything else, and that thing is immediately 10x better.

Teddy Roosevelt – Meatballs

Teddy Roosevelt was a man’s man. And you can bet he damn sure loved meatballs on his pizza. Sometimes you just need some cow flesh ground down, balled up, and thrown on top of your pizza to remind yourself that you’re alive. And that the cow is not.

Abraham Lincoln – Chicken Parm

Now many of you would say pepperoni should be listed at number four, but pepperoni, much like Clemson at the beginning of every football season, is overrated. Lincoln is not overrated. Man ended slavery. He was honest. Chicken parm is honest. It doesn’t parade around in anything fancy. Just chicken, sauce and Parmesan cheese with some mozzarella thrown in. When placed atop a pizza, it makes one feel like a free man. Just like how Lincoln intended.

Mount Rushmore: Nickelodeon Game Shows

February 25, 2009
For our older readers (mom), you may not get all the references. But to those of you in the right age range, these should be right in the wheel house:
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Double Dare

Ah, the classic game show that started it all. You see, it was break-through because kids could get their parents all messy. Kids will pretty much watch anything that invloves dumping slime on their parents, just the same as they’d buy any toy that turned into something.

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Nick Arcade

This one is purely out of personal preference. Man, this game was just terrible. But to a 10 year old boy, the mere thought of getting to play IN a video game was enough to get me to watch.
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Legends of the Hidden Temple

Does this even need an explanation? This show is one of the greatest television shows in history. This is a fact. It is also a fact that the Green Monkeys were the greatest team in history. Care to challenge that? Bring it. But be careful. The choices are yours and yours alone. Good luck.

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GUTS

Let’s go to Mo’ for the explanation. MO’!!

At the sound of my whistle, the readers will have 60 seconds to disagree with this entry. Any person that disagrees will be kicked in the face. Most kicks in wins.

Mt. Rushmore: Virginia Tech Football

February 24, 2009

If ESPN can be gimmicky and lowest-common-denominator, then so can we.

We thought about having a poll to find out who should go on the football Mt. Rushmore. But once we started thinking about it, the results are a little too predictable…

1. Frank Beamer (duh)
2. Bud Foster (of course)
3. Bruce Smith (obviously)
4. Corey Moore (well, yeah)

Any arguments? Let’s hear ’em. But we feel pretty confident in our list.

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Look for more Mt. Rushmores in the coming days. Here are some examples:

-Candy
-Nickelodeon game shows
-Seinfeld episodes
-Famous Canadians
-Virginia Tech athletes we’d like to forget (oh Marcus Sailes… how we loathe you)
-Ninja Turtles
-Kelly Clarkson songs
-Tailgate food
-Beer
Tommy Boy and Dumb and Dumber quotes

Any suggestions are welcome.