Archive for the ‘Marshall Thundering Herd’ Category

Game 2: Marshall Predictions

September 11, 2009

Even losses provide winners. And for the first time I’ve known him, the DiP actually did something right.

His 24-20 prediction was the closest, despite not picking the winner. We give no points to picking the winner. Unless you pick Tech.

So for Mr. DiP, the Trophy of Awesomeness is his. This week’s trophy? Well, despite his family having invented it, he’ll be taking home a lifetime supply of the greatest candy ever…


It’s sugar in a bag. Freaking genius.

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On to this week’s picks. All scores come with a Virginia Tech victory.

C Gally: 42-10, double-digit sacks for the defense

The DiP: 31-13, Marshall’s offense outscores ours

Wright: 30-17, might closer, but the Marshall players will likely smoke up in the locker room pregame with an Ode to Pennington

Maniak: 23-10

Poppa Gally: 21-7, 1 blocked kick, 1 punt return for a touchdown

The Northerner: 34-3, two TDs by our defense – one being by Virgil on a turnover; 30+ yard TD run by Williams; red zone scramble/QB sneak for TD by Tyrod; and then two field goals. Book it.

B-Dubs: In accordance with Marshall law, the Thundering Herd will stampede their way into an angry Lane Stadium. Not knowing what to do they will call Byron Leftwhich to save the day andrealize that he is still just a mediocre QB. Hopes deflate, the Hokies win 42-3.

The CMU Football Analyst: 34-20, Tech wins the Battle of the Sleepy College Towns.

Meet Bag: 30-10

G Way: 41-7 in an offensive explosion that will trick us into thinking the offense might be improving until we get to next week against Nebraska, where we just rely on the D again.

Kyle, the Hokie Ambassador to Africa: 37-10

The Bull: Ryan Williams = 18, Virginia Tech Kicker Matt Waldron = 9, Marshall = 10. Hokies win 27-10.

Bobby the Ginger: Bryan Stinespring finds out that his playbook contains more pages than “See Spot Run” and the Hokies score 30 offensive points. Final score Hokies 37-10.

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As usual, we ask a fan of our opponent their prediction. Fortunately, our Marshall fan is M Gally, sister to your humble editor and lifelong Hokie fan*.

*Technically speaking, this makes her a Hokie.

Her prediction is 35-15 VT. Smartest girl at that school.

All readers, long time or one time, are welcome to leave their scores in the comments. And yes, we do take them into account for the weekly Trophy of Awesomeness.

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In Tommy Lee Jones we trust. LET’S GO HOKIES!!
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Game 2: Marshall Preview

September 10, 2009

Welp, that sucked.

Another big game against the SEC. Another loss. How sad is it that we felt almost ok with the outcome since we didn’t get crushed or blow a 30 point lead?

In case you’re wondering, the last time we beat a top ten team was the 2006 over #10 Clemson. Since it was Clemson, we can barely count it.

The Northerner pretty much summed up what everyone was thinking from the Alabama game, but here are a few more thoughts before we put that guy to bed.

You know how many teams ESPN has made fun of for being super-duper predictable on offense? One. Us. It’s embarrassing.

There’s nothing we can even say any more. We are ready to lead an all out protest of Voldemort, our offensive coordinator. We’d like to see something like these town hall meetings on healthcare, only louder.

The defense spent nearly two-thirds of the game on the field. You know what you get when that happens? Five plays for 74 yards and a touchdown in just under three minutes. That would be Alabama’s last scoring drive after we cut the deficit to 3.

But don’t think the coaches were the only goats in this. Chancellor couldn’t cover a manhole. Tyrod threw for a whopping 91 yards. And whoever the f*** #62 is on the offensive line needs to be replaced with a parking cone. We know you’re just a kid, but come on man. You have to at least touch the guy as he goes screaming past you to kill our quarterback.

Ok, I feel a little bit better. It was out of conference, so mark that game with a big ol’ whatevs.

Also, WE DIDN’T LOSE TO WILLIAM AND FREAKING MARY!!!*

*More on that in our thank you’s for Hatefest 2009 tomorrow.

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On to Marshall.

As a disclaimer, I need to note that my sister, a hardcore Virginia Tech fan, attends Marshall University. She has rooted for Tech since forever, and that’s not easy growing up in Morgantown. If my vile for the school seems a little toned down this week, you’ll have to forgive me.

She plans to attend the game wearing a Marshall shirt with a VT hat. This will be sure to confuse and confound anybody that happens to see her. Any abuse by Tech fans (which would be pretty sad, it’s freaking Marshall) will be swiftly dealt with by her jacked, ex-linebacker brother.

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The Bad Guys
Other than the movie starring the dreamy Jack Sheppard and the dad from Hot Rod, not too much has happened since we last saw this team. They had been led by Byron Leftwich, most known for his backup role on the Steelers last year. (Don’t laugh, he has a Superbowl ring.)

Now? 99% of football fans couldn’t name one Marshall player.

If you really want a scouting report on this team, you’re not reading this site. But I wouldn’t waste your time. If we struggle at all, there will be bigger fish to fry.

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The Hokies
We’re fine. So long as we call a bootleg on every play. I’ve seen better pass blocking on the intramural fields.

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The Game
Despite being one of the easier games on our schedule, it is very important that we play well. Coming off a big loss to Alabama with Nebraska looming, a strong performance on Saturday will go a long way.

This isn’t to say we should overlook this game. Quite the opposite. We need to win this game by 30 points. If we struggle, we’ll be lucky to get out of September with only two losses.

Of course we want to keep everyone healthy, but I say game plan the shit out of this game… sorry, I said game plan. I forgot that’s not really in our bag of tricks.

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Your Pump Up Song of the Week (other than Metallica)
In honor of the WORLD CHAMPION PITTSBURGH STEELERS playing tonight, we’ll hit you with a little Styx Renegade…

Who wants to powerhour?

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Replacement Offensive Coordinator
Yes, we are no longer just looking for a good luck hero. We need results. And the only way is to replace Voldemort with someone worth a damn.

We figure that the best way to take down Marshall is with a marshal.

Who do we want calling our plays?

Marshal Samuel Gerard

Beamer: I didn’t call for this non-draw play.

Marshal Gerard: I don’t care.

LET’S GO HOKIES!!!

Last formal weekend recap

September 8, 2009

I don’t think I will be doing anymore formal weekend recaps because they take way too much time. So I think from now on I will just throw out my thoughts on what happened over the weekend and you’ll be happy to get it.

I won’t delve into that debacle that was our game against Alabama, because I’m sure we will have a post devoted entirely to that subject in the coming hours or days. I do want to say this though, I was impressed. Same amount of impressed I was last year and the year before that. As Gobbler Country so truthfully puts it, we are, in fact the same team we were last year. And the year before that. The announcers before the game were commenting on how predictable our offense was. Exhibit A of why we need a new offensive coordinator.

Some other stuff happened that I’m sure you already know about: Oregon’s punch-drunk player got suspended the whole season, but of course, not the pussy who was flopping in his face like a goldfish about two seconds before he took it on the chin. Figures. The Sooners lost Bradford for a few weeks which means their championship run is over. This crazy 17 year old chick is blowing through the competition at the US Open. Good for her. And the pirates lost. More on that in a different post.

But back to what we care about, we move onto Marshall next week and we better bring the pain in order to get our spirits up. Nothing is as crushing as leading a game into the fourth quarter and then shitting the bed. But we know that feeling all too well by now. So let’s just move on and accept that we aren’t winning a National Championship with the coaching staff in its present form and just be happy with 10 win seasons and trips to the Orange Bowl. Apparently playing Big East teams in a bowl game is our peak. Ugh.