Archive for the ‘Lets Go Hokies’ Category

Game 2: Marshall Predictions

September 11, 2009

Even losses provide winners. And for the first time I’ve known him, the DiP actually did something right.

His 24-20 prediction was the closest, despite not picking the winner. We give no points to picking the winner. Unless you pick Tech.

So for Mr. DiP, the Trophy of Awesomeness is his. This week’s trophy? Well, despite his family having invented it, he’ll be taking home a lifetime supply of the greatest candy ever…


It’s sugar in a bag. Freaking genius.

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On to this week’s picks. All scores come with a Virginia Tech victory.

C Gally: 42-10, double-digit sacks for the defense

The DiP: 31-13, Marshall’s offense outscores ours

Wright: 30-17, might closer, but the Marshall players will likely smoke up in the locker room pregame with an Ode to Pennington

Maniak: 23-10

Poppa Gally: 21-7, 1 blocked kick, 1 punt return for a touchdown

The Northerner: 34-3, two TDs by our defense – one being by Virgil on a turnover; 30+ yard TD run by Williams; red zone scramble/QB sneak for TD by Tyrod; and then two field goals. Book it.

B-Dubs: In accordance with Marshall law, the Thundering Herd will stampede their way into an angry Lane Stadium. Not knowing what to do they will call Byron Leftwhich to save the day andrealize that he is still just a mediocre QB. Hopes deflate, the Hokies win 42-3.

The CMU Football Analyst: 34-20, Tech wins the Battle of the Sleepy College Towns.

Meet Bag: 30-10

G Way: 41-7 in an offensive explosion that will trick us into thinking the offense might be improving until we get to next week against Nebraska, where we just rely on the D again.

Kyle, the Hokie Ambassador to Africa: 37-10

The Bull: Ryan Williams = 18, Virginia Tech Kicker Matt Waldron = 9, Marshall = 10. Hokies win 27-10.

Bobby the Ginger: Bryan Stinespring finds out that his playbook contains more pages than “See Spot Run” and the Hokies score 30 offensive points. Final score Hokies 37-10.

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As usual, we ask a fan of our opponent their prediction. Fortunately, our Marshall fan is M Gally, sister to your humble editor and lifelong Hokie fan*.

*Technically speaking, this makes her a Hokie.

Her prediction is 35-15 VT. Smartest girl at that school.

All readers, long time or one time, are welcome to leave their scores in the comments. And yes, we do take them into account for the weekly Trophy of Awesomeness.

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In Tommy Lee Jones we trust. LET’S GO HOKIES!!

Game 1: Alabama Predictions

September 4, 2009


And now, the season is really getting going.

Once again, we make our fearless predictions for this week’s game. Whoever is closest, based on our BCS-like calculations, wins a fabulous prize*.

*prize yet to be determined, but is most likely not fabulous.

Let’s see ’em:

Gally: 14-12 VT

The Northerner: 17-14 VT

Maniak: 20-17 VT

Meet-Bag: 20 – 13 VT

B-Dubs: 24-10 VT

The Bull: 17-13 VT

The DiP: 24-20 VT

Wright: 20-17 VT

Poppa Gally: DEFENSE!!!! VT 14 – Ala 10………At a minimum……1 BLOCKED KICK!!!!**
**copy and pasted directly from the email

The CMU Football Analyst: 24-17 Alabama***
***no one likes him

GWay: 17-10 VT

Bobby the Ginger: 16-10 VT

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We usually like to get a prediction from a fan of our opponent. But since we have jobs and live in a city with economic growth, we don’t know any Alabama fans to ask.

So if there are any ‘Bama folk out there, please leave your score predictions in the comments. If you think someone will score over 20 points, ask a friend if you can borrow his fingers and toes.

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And of course, Tech fans should absolutely let us know their scores. (See the section about a fabulous prize up above.) Just try to be as fair and balanced as we were in our predictions.

Game 1: Alabama Preview

September 4, 2009

OMG OMG OMG!!!! IT’S HEEEEEEEEERE!!!

The ‘Bama game is here and it’s spectacular.

#5 vs. #7. Your grandchildren will hear stories about this game. Your girlfriend might leave or marry you based on this game. Your psychiatrist will note this as the turning point in your life. Your parole officer will be assigned after this game.

There are already a million Tech fans in Atlanta right now. Everyone is going to this game. While it may not be Lane Stadium, it’ll be freaking loud. And if the sound guy is ballzy enough to put on some “Enter Sandman”, the roof will blow off.

We didn’t include Alabama in our Hatefest series. We don’t really have any reason to hate them. But that all changes right now.

The last time we heard from Bama fans was when 90,000 people showed up for their Spring Game. All this tells us is that no one in Alabama has a job.

Not that you can blame them. There is NOTHING to do in Alabama. The greatest accomplishments in the state? They have a song that is more cliché than using The Fray in your movie trailer. They were featured briefly in Forest Gump. And… well that’s about it. They had some famous coach along time ago. Too bad no one gives a shit.

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The Bad Guys

As you most likely heard, one of their players, Brandon Deaderick, was shot this past week… f***ing shot! He has since returned to practice!! He won’t play on Saturday, which is good for us, because he’s apparently the offspring of the pimpest man alive, Sig Hansen.

As for the rest of the Alabama team… well they are kind of good.

They had a redonkulous defense last year, and they will probably be pretty money again. They return 9 starters.

Get ready to hear the name “Terrence Cody”, he’s Alabama’s nose tackle. The guy is 6’5”, 354 lbs!

He won’t get many sacks, since Tyrod can run faster than a manatee. But he will no doubt be a factor in the run game. We may have to (gasp!) run outside.

Apparently they are the Virginia Tech of the SEC, because their offense blows ass. They return only 5 players: 3 wide receivers and 2 linemen. That leaves a lot of inexperience in the other 3 linemen and a somewhat important position, quarterback. Greg McElroy will make his first start under center. He has thrown exactly 20 passes in actual games, and is also an incredible douche*.

*He attends an SEC school, so this is assumed.

Also, this guy went there:

He majored in cheeseburgers.

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The Hokies

As for your Virginia Tech Hokies, we are freaking awesome. We return everyone.

Sure, Darren Evans got hurt, but we’ll be fine. We love Evans and all, but when was the last time we had a running back not succeed here? (Screw you, Imoh.)

Sergio Render is a pimp. Jason Worilds is nasty. And the dual K/Cam engine on defense will crush anyone.

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The Game

Everyone will talk about the play of Tyrod Taylor being the deciding factor. But as long as he doesn’t throw 4 interceptions with 2 going back for touchdowns (known as pulling a Glennon), it won’t much matter what he does. This game is going to come down to defense.

If the over/under is less than 14, take the under. This is going to be a boring, boring game folks. While we would never condone drinking alcohol of any kind (HA!), a few beers on hand would probably be a good call. Your humble editor, The Northerner, and the DiP will be nice and toasty come game time. We’re not watching as a group or anything. We’re just all alcoholics.

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Your Pump Up Song of the Week (other than Metallica)

If you’re on Facebook, your newsfeed is filled with 100 different entrance videos. Since you can’t actually pump “Enter Sandman” at your tailgate for 3 hours straight, allow us to give you one song that will get you psyched enough to spend a weekend in Atlanta.

Gravesmakers and Gunslingers by Coheed and Cambria

You may not have heard it before, but I dare you to listen to it and not want to tackle the next person you see.

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It’s that time. Your first hero for the season.

We didn’t want to go with the usual for this game, since this isn’t a usual game. We can’t go with Steven Hiller. We can’t go with Sig. We can’t even go with Bear.

We need a badass that takes matters into his own hands. We need….

…Liam Neeson in Taken.

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Guess how that turned out.

That’s also the transcript of Beamer’s last conversation with Saban. Except for the “daughter” part.

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Biggest game of your life. Nothing else happens on Saturday.

Go Hokies!!!

This is how you do it

September 3, 2009

Real Clear Sports has just jumped up to my top 5 websites because of this little article. Who’s number one on this list of best entrances in college football? That would be us. That is how you show respect to the definitive entrance to a college football stadium. I watched the video that all of us have seen so many times, and still got chills. Oh what the hell, here it is.

Awesome.

Now let’s see what RCS had to say about it:

It starts with one side of the stadium, “LET’S GO….” And then the other side responds, “HOKIES”. Then the bass line from Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” starts. Fans begin jumping up and down. The band is lined up outside of the tunnel. The music hits the crescendo, the team rushes out of the tunnel, the fireworks explode, and Lane Stadium becomes one of the loudest stadiums in college football – and they haven’t even started playing yet.

Is there a back-story to this entrance? Probably. But as you jump up and down like a madman somewhere deep in the mountains of Virginia, with Metallica’s bass lines thumping against your brain, ready to watch your Hokies do battle on a crisp fall night, do you care? Probably not. Obviously, with a relatively new song, the tradition isn’t very old, but it has quickly garnered the respect of all college football fans and players as the most intense entrance in college football.

And by far the best part of the analysis was the beginning, which I will leave you with, if only to ponder how true it is:

We held this one for number one for fear that after you see it you might try and run through a brick wall.

Amen, brother.

VT Alumni Tailgate for the Alabama Game

August 24, 2009

The Atlanta Chapter of the VT Alumni Association has sent us some interesting information. They are hosting a tailgate prior to the beatdown of the Crimson Tide. Check out the website here where you can buy tickets and get all the necessary info.

This little shindig sounds pretty cool. All you Hokie fans down in the Dirty South should get a move on to go to the tailgate. It’ll be just like your tailgate except better and you won’t have to do any of the clean up or setup work. They’ll have hamburgers and hot dogs, corn hole, and other tailgate games. Oh yeah, and they have the brewskis. Plus they even hooked you up with maps of the MARTA system (that’s the Atlanta public transit system for all of you who aren’t in the know) so that you don’t even have to worry about driving to or from the massive win over Alabama. You can celebrate to your hearts content.

Anyways, hit up the website and if you’re in the Atlanta area (read: within 250 miles of Atlanta) on Sept. 5th then you get you sweet ass to the tailgate and root on the boys in maroon (unless of course Alabama is in Maroon and then root on the boys in whatever color we’re wearing). Just remember, you need to get tickets by August 28th (that’s in 4 days) otherwise you may be shit out of luck.

4/16

April 16, 2009

Before we really get going today, we wanted to take a moment to honor those that we lost two years ago. Some of the pain and agony may have faded, but nothing will ever be forgotten.

We don’t have any big things to say, so we’ll let someone who majored in that kind of thing say them for us: