Archive for the ‘Lance Armstrong’ Category

Weekend recap

July 27, 2009

You know everyone loves “Wedding Crashers” and the whole concept of “Wedding Season” but when you have to drive from NY to VA three times in four weeks, weddings start to get really friggin’ old.

1. Lance Armstong lost the Tour de France to his Astana teammate. He was not happy or a good loser about it. He was a dick. Someone should tell him that just because he beat cancer, won 7 consecutive Tours, banged Sheryl Crow, had like 5 kids despite only having one nut, and still rakes in the ladies doesn’t mean he can be an asshole when he gets third in the Tour after a 2.5 year retirement. Oh what’s that? He is allowed to do that because of all those things? Oops, my bad.

2. Jimmie Johnson won the Brickyard this weekend, apparently because Montoya got some kind of speeding penalty. At an auto race. I don’t know what that means, and honestly, I couldn’t care less. This is what they do at NASCAR events:

3. Tyson Gay has basically guaranteed that he will “shock the world” at the 100m next month and beat out Usain Bolt. Here’s a little tip, Tyson. You won’t. Bolt has his own dancers. He doesn’t even try to run fast and he beats out the other racers by like 3 seconds. I mean, if you think you can win, then all the power to you, but I just don’t think it will happen. Also, for next time, you might want to wait until like a week before the competition to make these guarantees. Now Bolt will train harder in the next month just in order to beat you out, and secondly, no one will remember that you said this a month from now. If you did it a week before, then everyone would pay attention. But not a month away. Come on, man, thats just elementary stuff.

4. Jim Rice and Rickey Henderson got inducted into the Hall of Fame. No discussion needed here, they were both deserving. Some will argue that Rice shouldn’t have gotten in (ebj – looking at you) but no one will argue the election of the Henderson. He’s stolen more bases than CGally has stolen ladies’ hearts. So that would be at least one. Ba dum dum.

5. The MLB trade talks are ongoing and it looks like Halladay probably won’t be moving before the trade deadline. He’s a free agent next year and has already said that if the BJs don’t trade him then he will be open to testing the market. That way any team who wants him could get hime for the same money they would sign him an extension, and not have to give up an prospects. Shoot for the playoffs next year buddy.

6. Terrell Owens says that suspending Vick for four games this season would be “ridiculous”. This may be the only remotely intelligent thing this manchild has ever said. For the first time in my life I can honestly say, “I agree with T.O.” Oooh, I just got the chills. And a small part of my soul just died.