Archive for the ‘gumby's’ Category

Global Warming?

February 12, 2009

So the temperature here in NY is a balmy 54 degrees in the middle of February. What’s going on? There are two options to look at here:

1. Global warming is real and its pissed. This does not bode well for my (and a few other people on this site) melanin-free skin.

2. Punxsutawney Phil is full of shit. Why do we still let a groundhog dictate when it will get warm? Don’t we have some sort of weather machine that can change it on a whim by now?

First off, his beloved Stillers just won the Superbowl the night before. I mean the guy was probably hung over worse than a freshman with a fake ID who spent the night chugging rails at TOTS. And then we ask him to get up at the ass-crack of dawn in the biting cold surrounded by douches in top hats to see if he sees his shadow.

I mean cut the guy some slack and leave some sunglasses, advil, pokey sticks and a glass of water in his hole to help ease the pain.

Come to think of it, he probably didn’t even see his shadow. You ever get up early on a Friday morning to go to class after a night of double power hours? Of course you haven’t. What dumbass scheduled class on Friday morning? But I’ve personally been up early on, say, a Tuesday morning, and I’m willing to bet that the sun is just as damn bright three days later. Phil just wanted to go back to bed and then get up at 2 in the afternoon, boot, and then hit up Moe’s like we all did. Poor guy.