Archive for the ‘Gobbler Country Roundtable’ Category

Gobbler Country Roundtable Question #5

April 3, 2009

The Gobbler over at Gobbler Country asked us to participate in a little Springtime Hokie roundtable discussion. We obviously obliged, seeing how we are the premium experts on all things Virginia Tech.

Five questions were submitted. The Northerner and your humble editor went back and forth in our usual “we kind of hate each other” style. Enjoy.

Also, any additional questions may be submitted, and we will tackle them with the force of a thousand Vince Hall’s.

————————————-
Question #5 (From College Game Balls): “What kind of music do you think the team is bumping in the locker room? And is Beamer getting down? I know the ’99 team was big into Method Man and Dr. Dre.”

C Gally: Not knowing any of the actual players, here are some songs that make me want to run through a wall:

  • Gravemakers and Gunslingers by Coheed and Cambria
  • Renegade by Styx
  • Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
  • Pretender by Foo Fighters
  • Every Little Thing Counts by Janus Stark (thank you, Varsity Blues)
  • Welcome to the Terrordome by Public Enemy

Do I think any of these songs will be played in the locker room? Hell no (other than Kelly Clarkson).

The N: Apparently there is this new “trend” called the Stanky Legg that is rushing through the frat parties, so I would guess that would be played by someone… the kicker, at least.

Added to that would be “Swagga like us” by TI , Jay-Z and a bunch of other people. Though, since I like that song, and since I’m a little out of the “rap loop” if you will, that song may have passed through the actual rap lover’s playlist a few months ago.

AC/DC has several timeless songs that better be played in the locker room. A few come to mind: Highway to Hell, Hell’s Bells, Thunderstruck, and TNT.

And of course, Enter Sandman had better be getting some play time or else we have a real problem. But I doubt that even needs to be said.

C Gally: I thought the Stanky Legg was something going around at Radford sorority parties BA-ZING!

Is Regulators still “hip”?

The N: “Regulators” wasn’t hip after, I would say, roughly 1997. Usage of the word “hip” to describe something “cool” stopped about 40 years ago.

You are so white, it’s embarrassing.

C Gally: Just because you looked up a hip hop radio station’s playlist doesn’t make you any less pale and ghost-like. You are haunting this website with your whiteness.

The N: You’re just jealous. I don’t even know any hip hop stations up here. And I don’t think AC/DC is generally played on hip hop stations.

C Gally: On the good ones they are.

The N: I’m betting that “Regulators” is also still played on the “good ones”.

C Gally: They’re daaaaamn good, too.

The N: I’m just going to start calling you “Casper”. It’s very appropriate.

C Gally: Clever.

The N
: Thanks, I try.

Advertisements

Gobbler Country Rountable Question #4

April 2, 2009

Continuing with the questions we were emailed from a magical question monster, named Gobbler Country, who seemingly is only interested in Virginia Tech football, here is Question Numero 4:

4. What change would you make to college football’s spring football system?

The Northerner: Free beer, unlimited White Castle sliders and chicks in bikinis giving backrubs (or men in banana-hammocks for the ladies).

CGally: Agreed on all points.

Additionally, I think they should pick teams like in gym class. I would love to see Glennon’s face as he was passed over again and again.

And why is this game played during the day? It’s always freaking hot, there’s little tailgating time, and all I want to do is nap afterwards. We can’t even get a night game for a game WHICH WE ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SCHEDULING.

The Northerner: Good point, a night spring game would provide a lot more time for tailgating, would be a bit cooler in temperature, and would probably attract a larger crowd of spectators which would benefit the freshmen who may have never played in front of a large crowd.

In addition, if there is a larger crowd available, then the organizers could go Medieval Times on the stadium and make one side root only for the maroon team and the other side root for the white team, creating a more fun atmosphere as well as practice the cheering and heckling that is so integral to the regular season games.

CGally: I like the maroon v. white idea. Give the winning side free ice cream or something.
This is clearly the best answer to one of these questions that we’ve come up with.

The Northerner: I’m sure if you gave the local companies some ad space in return for free ice cream, half off an appetizer, free 2-liter soda, free gallon of antifreeze, they would be all over it.

CGally: I do believe an “Anti-freeze! Anti-freeze!” chant would be the highlight of my spring… not sarcastic.

Gobbler Country Roundtable: Question #3

April 1, 2009

The Gobbler over at Gobbler Country asked us to participate in a little Springtime Hokie roundtable discussion. We obviously obliged, seeing how we are the premium experts on all things Virginia Tech.

Five questions were submitted. The Northerner and your humble editor went back and forth in our usual “we kind of hate each other” style. Enjoy.

Also, any additional questions may be submitted, and we will tackle them with the force of a thousand Vince Hall’s.

—————————————

Question #3: “What position do you think is most important to the Hokies on the defensive side of the ball this spring? Are there any young players who will step up during spring on that side of the ball?”

C Gally: Well, crap. An actual question about players, assuming that we know about this stuff. Being drunk for half of the games does not lend itself to learning the players’ tendencies.

That being said, the answer is absolutely 100% YES. While I have no idea who it will be, when was the last time a young player didn’t step up on defense? Hell, it’s usually the multi-year starters that seem to fall off.

cough cough Jimmy Williams cough cough

The N: Every position is the most important on defense. If there was an unimportant position on the defensive side, it wouldn’t be a position anymore. We rely on our linebackers, our rovers, our cornerbacks, everything. You take one of those away and we have a major hole (that’s what she said). As for which player will step up, let’s go with…. Rashad Carmichael. He’s the oldest cornerback we have since Macho left, and we have always been relatively strong in the cornerback position. So I think he will have to step up, and you can bet that Foster is giving this guy tons of tape on how the position is played. I have faith in our defensive coaches that this position will not be an afterthought.

C Gally: Phew, an actual name, good. Now we totally look legit.

The only worry I ever have about our defense is that it will be too good, and Foster will become a head coach somewhere else. I also fear for the health and safety of the opponent’s offensive players. As much as I hate Miami, I’d feel slightly bad if we hurt one of their players.

Now, hurting one of their fans on the other hand…

The N: Yeah, I don’t feel bad about hurting their players. (Editor’s note: what a douche) And our defense is one of the top in the nation. Making it one of the top 5 will not create that much more desire for Bud Foster. I’m shocked he didn’t go to Clemson this year, but I’m not going to constantly worry about when he will leave. Maybe he’s just a terrible interviewer. Let’s hope.

C Gally: It actually keeps me up at night.

Gobbler Country Roundtable: Question 2

April 1, 2009

As CGally mentioned in the previous post, we have been invited by Gobbler Country to discuss questions concerning VT football. Here is the second installment of a (as it stands) 5-part series. Comments/opinions/irrational statements/questions/immature name-calling is encouraged.

2. From Beer Control Offense: “Are you concerned about the lack of depth of quarterback? How many significant snaps do you think VT’s backup quarterback will get?”

The Northerner: Yes, yes I am concerned. Tyrod loves to scramble, and that is always dangerous. We don’t have any depth at QB other than freshmen and a guy named Jeff Beyer (yeah, me either), so I am very concerned at our depth. (Editor’s note: We forgot about Ju-Ju Clayton. How could we forget about Ju-Ju Clayton?! Our sincerest apologies.)

That being said, Tyrod will not get hurt and will take every significant snap possible. Unless, of course, you consider the victory formation a significant snap.

CGally: I did not realize we actually had backup quarterbacks, so my outlook has improved slightly.

I doubt that the lack of depth will affect our season as much as we think. We win with defense. If we do have to use the backup, what will be the worst effect? Our offensive production is cut from 10 points a game to 7 points a game?

I’m just assuming that we’re going to suck on offense anyways.

I’m also going to assume that Tyrod is some sort of uber-athlete and cannot be injured by anything other than pieces of his home planet.

The Northerner: Let’s hope that his home planet isn’t made of 15-year old girls. Lightning can’t strike twice, right? Hey-Oh!

CGally: If it does, we might as well start punting on first down.

And a planet of 15-year-old girls would involve WAY too much Jonas Brothers. I kind of shudder just thinking about it.

The Northerner: Did you realize the eldest Jonas is 21 years old? How creepy must he feel when he goes on stage to play or pretty much anywhere and there are 12-year old girls throwing their underwear at him. You know, unless he likes that kind of thing.

CGally: Chris Hansen follows him 24/7.

Gobbler Country Roundtable: Question #1

April 1, 2009

The Gobbler over at Gobbler Country asked us to participate in a little Springtime Hokie roundtable discussion. We obviously obliged, seeing how we are the premium experts on all things Virginia Tech.

Five questions were submitted. The Northerner and your humble editor went back and forth in our usual “we kind of hate each other” style. Enjoy.

Also, any additional questions may be submitted, and we will tackle them with the force of a thousand Vince Hall’s.

—————————————

Question #1: “Are we really going to be that good next year? I just don’t see us being a top 10 team given last season’s offensive output. Tell me that we’re overhauling the offense, or we’re adding new packages. Give me some hope.”

C Gally: If by “overhaul” you mean same shit we’ve always done, then get excited.

That said, we are still going to be the best thing on the block next year, even with a stagnant offense. Hell, we finished in the top 15 last year with a tougher schedule and playing with scrubs on offense. If there was any year that we were going to make a run at the top 5, it’s this year.

The N: The only “overhauling” that will be done on offense is that Tyrod will be the only one with the ball getting snapped to him. We have finally gotten rid of Glennon and will put all our faith in Taylor. Stiney will still love the draw play, and will be calling the same shit as usual.

Though, I disagree with CGally in that I don’t think we have any breakout stars that will give us the national attention to make it to the top 5. I think we will hover around the 8 slot in the rankings at our best and make it to the ACC Championship again.

It should be noted that this scenario is possible mainly because all the other teams without a coach were too stupid to get Foster and/or Frankie Beams made a few “home visits”, and not to recruit high schoolers, if you know what I mean.

C Gally: The last time we went from having two quarterbacks to just one, we went 10-2, won the ACC, and lost by 3 to an undefeated Auburn team in the Sugar Bowl. This time won’t involve weed, underage girls, or traffic violations, but I think the mindset is still the same.

I don’t know that we will be a top 5 team. I just think that this year is going to be our best shot in a while.

And no, I don’t know what you mean. Are you implying that Foster only stayed because Beamer gave him sexual favors?

The N: That sounds about right, but we also had some depth at our receiving corps and had some running backs. We lost a lot of good players since then, and I’m concerned we haven’t refueled our tanks, so to speak.

And no, I didn’t mean sexual favors, so get your mind out of the gutter. I meant that Beamer went to the respective schools without coaches and threatened to beat the ever-loving shit out of them if they took Foster from him.

C Gally: Ah, racked a few knuckles. I got ya.

Yes, we are a little thin. But if we were deeper at those positions, would our success on offense change? I’m doubtful. See: Royal, Eddie

The N: One player wouldn’t really make a significant change, unless we re-recruited Randy Moss or something, but if we had two or three deep threats, then we would have the deep ball and the running quarterback that would keep defenses on their toes. But then again we would have Stinespring still, and that would let the defense relax again.

C Gally: “But then again we would have Stinespring still, and that would let the defense relax again.” We probably could have started with that sentence and skipped everything else we’ve said.

The N: Sadly, agreed.

Who’s going to post these bad boys and how are we going to do it?

C Gally: I can put them up, maybe one or two a day.

The N: Okie dokie artichokie

C Gally: That’s going in the post as well.

The N: I figured.