Archive for the ‘Crazy-Ass Children's Book’ Category

Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week

March 27, 2009

This week is finally over and my office is quite quiet. No real big news that I can relate to a book today so I’m going to go with a simple one to bring us through to the weekend.

Let’s hope this book brings you much luck with it’s featured topic, guys and girls (girls – if you swing that way, or you know, just in general).

I’ve never seen breasts that look like candy canes, but then again I’m not a man-whore like CGally, so you’ll have to ask him if these are real.

Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week

March 20, 2009

Alright, I feel like crap. My allergies have kicked in, and they’re apparently pissed at me because they’re attacking me with the fire of a thousand suns. My sinuses are congested and I can’t hear a damn thing. Oh, and it’s officially the first day of spring. How does Mother Earth celebrate this wonderful change of the seasons? Bitch made it snow. What a whore.

Anyways, here’s the book. I don’t know if anyone like this “regular column” , but I do and I hold the password that allows me to post on this site, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Suckers.

In honor of my wonderful allergy situation I present:

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I look/feel like.

Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week

March 13, 2009

This week we have had intermittent blogging from the two regular contributors. For this we apologize. Perhaps if the other non-regular bloggers got off their asses and posted some funny stuff, you would have more to read (obviously, funny is a relative term here on the NEZ. But hey, we try. I don’t see you making me laugh. Jerk.).

In honor of our absent fellow bloggers, we here at the NEZ dedicate this week’s book to them.
Where’s the poop, guys?

Where’s the poop, indeed. (in this metaphor, the poop is blog posts, just in case you were wondering)

Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week

March 6, 2009

Sorry to all of our loyal reader(s) out there, but I had a meeting outside of the office this morning and just got back in, thus explaining the lack of (good) posts today.

This week’s Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week nicely dovetails with my busy schedule seeing as how I am employed as an Urban Planner. Basically I work with towns and private companies to design public policy and other plans and, you know what, don’t worry, my family doesn’t really understand what I do either.

But onto the book. Going along with the urban aspect of my job and the fact that children are usually involved in children’s books, I present to you: Urban Babies Wear Black.

Personally, I don’t know why urban babies wear black, other than it doesn’t show dirt, spit, or poo.

I mean if urban babies dress like this little punk then I will never raise my kid in an urban environment. He looks like he’s going to rob someplace or mug someone. Plus look at those douche-y glasses. Kid should get his ass kicked.

Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week

February 27, 2009

Ah, Friday. Possibly the greatest day of the week. You may have work, but seriously, no one cares enough to do whatever it is they do at even 75%. Most of you in Blacksburg don’t have class, and if you do, you’re a either a dumbass or a freshman. And we don’t want any freshmen reading this blog. (just kidding… tell your friends!)

Anyways, this week’s book goes out to all of you who are going to go out tonight and have a good time. I’ll be going out for some libations after work, and you should too. So when you’re trying to figure out what to wear tonight (ladies) or if your jeans need to be washed yet (gentlemen) look no further than the porn star of the animal world, the naked mole rat in Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed by Mo Willems.

If you have any suggestions for Crazy-Ass Children’s Book of the Week, or hell, any other columns, topics or posts you would like to see give us a shout., yes it’s a long name, we know, just copy and paste.