Archive for the ‘Charlie Weis sucks’ Category

Hatefest 2009: Why we hate… Notre Dame

July 22, 2009

Welcome to Hatefest 2009. We have 7 weeks until kick off, and thought it would be a good idea to piss off everyone we hate. This week: Big names we never play.

Oh Notre Dame. Once the great team that everyone aspired to play for. Now, the Irish are the bane of the BCS’s existence. Rudy even thinks they get too much credit. So let’s have at it.

The Town
Can’t say we really know anything about South Bend. Other than the fact that it’s in Indiana. And Indiana kinda sucks.

The School
Since the school seems to be pretty solid, we will discuss the mascot in this section.

As an Irish Catholic, I am absolutely appalled, offended, and livid at the use of the term “Fighting Irish”. How stereotypical can a school get? What, didn’t want to throw “Drunken” in there too? If the Native Americans can get angry about the Redskins, I see no reason I should let this ridiculous mockery of my culture continue.

Besides, I only drank 4 nights last week, and only 3 of those nights ended in fisticuffs. So THERE.

The Fans
Back in the day, if you were Catholic, you rooted for Notre Dame. That’s like a free 10,000,000 fans off the bat. But that’s why we call it “back in the day”. Today, we honestly can’t say we know a single fan of this team. Hell, we can’t even find anyone that doesn’t hate this team with a passion.

Apparently the only fans of this team are sitting on the BCS committee and in the AP. We can’t wait for all the old people in college football to die off so this whole Notre Dame bias can go the hell away.

The Team
HAHAHAHA!! 9 consecutive bowl losses (congrats on that Hawaii Bowl win this past season, boys!), 10-15 over the past two seasons (woooo Charlie Weis recruits!), and a worse record for the current coach than they had with Tyrone Willingham.

They are so overrated that they’re often mistaken for the movie Garden State.

But the true hate comes from the 2000 season…

Final BCS rankings:

  • Virginia Tech #5
  • Notre Dame #11

Bowl game:

  • Virginia Tech: Gator Bowl
  • Notre Dame: Fiesta Bowl

No no, that’s totally fair. This system isn’t completely f’ed up.

How’d those bowl games go over, by the way?

  • Virginia Tech won 41 – 20
  • Notre Dame lost 41 – 9 (to Oregon State!!)

We’re fairly certain that Michael “Ookie” Vick could have put up more than 9 points on the freaking Beavers.

So despite not ever playing the Irish, we still hate them for dicking us over.

Other
Charlie Weis still owes me $50.

Hatefest 2009

July 7, 2009

Many philosophers have attempted to explain the human race’s love affair with sports. Is it the competition? The team atmosphere? The feeling of community?

But alas, the answer is simple: HATE.

There is nothing better than that feeling of completely and utterly crushing your opponent into the mud… except when that opponent happens to be a hated rival.

As put best by Will Blythe (author of a Duke-UNC rivalry book), “To hate like this is to be happy forever.”

We all hate. We hate so many teams (our list came out to 23) for so many different reasons. Some are obvious (UVA). Some a little more nuanced (JMU). Some are because of the fans (WVU, Maryland, Pitt…trails off). Some are because of the uppity-ness of the school (Duke). Some are because of their success (USC). Hell, some are because of the band (JMU, again). And some are because of the “memories” they left us with (Radford).

But whatever the reason, the hate feels good. And in the doldrums of summer, we see no reason not to indulge ourselves in a little 8-week hate fest.

Yes, we only have 8 weeks to go (give or take a few days) until kickoff. Each week we will present you with a new category and group of schools:

Week 1: Mid-Majors or Less
Yes, we can hate on the little guys: ECU, Temple, JMU

Week 2: Big Names We Never Play
Some because of jealousy; some are because Charlie Weis is fat: Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame

Week 3: Big Names We’ve Sometimes Played
Lately, the results have not been pretty: USC, Auburn, LSU

Week 4: Big East Teams
The only way we could hate them more is if we had alimony payments: WVU, Pitt, Syracuse

Week 5: ACC Coastal
One day, we’ll think about letting them win an ACC title: UNC, Georgia Tech, Duke

Week 6: ACC Atlantic
One day, we’ll think about letting them win an ACC title: BC, Maryland, NC State, Clemson

Week 7: Teams from America’s Wang
We hated these teams long before a few were in our conference: Miami, Florida, Florida State

Week 8: UVA
UVA

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But we can’t do this alone. Please feel free to email us any stories you may have that have led to your bitter hatred of any team.

Don’t worry if your hated school isn’t on the list. Did a girlfriend leave you for a douche from Colorado? We want it. Are you our Carnegie Mellon Super Scientific Football Analyst and hate Greensburg Technical School for the Blind? Send in your seething description of why. Heck, if you really really hate Syracuse, we’ll let you guest blog.

So get your entries in. Hatefest 2009 starts on Monday.

Note the tags on this post. All but “Hatefest 2009” has been used at some point in our humble site’s young career.

Charlie Weis owes me $50 (and other thoughts on the weekend)

November 6, 2007

I root for Notre Dame in one game each year. I want them to go 1-11. Blasphemy, I know. I should be rooting for them to lose at all times. Why am I so crazy?

Three years ago, a simple bet was made between myself and a Midshipman. I bet him $50 that a 16-seed would beat a 1-seed before Navy beat Notre Dame. A fun bet, no doubt. The rule was that it would span a sports year (Fall through Summer).

So why does Charlie Weis owe me those lost $50? Let me give the situation:

  • Tie game
  • 45 seconds left
  • You have the ball at the other team’s 21 yard line
  • 4th and 8
  • You have the ball at the other team’s 21 FREAKING YARD LINE!!!!!

You have to be mentally deficient to not kick a field goal at that point. I’m not saying he was going to make it for sure, but you have to take the chance!! You for sure have a better chance to make 3 points to WIN THE GAME than convert a 4th and 8 for zero points.

You have to question everything that Weis thinks he knows about the game of football. I’m not usually one to second guess, but are you kidding me? I hate you even more than ever Notre Dame. Lose every game by 50 forever.

Other than that, congrats Navy. You have had more big wins in the past 10 years than the Irish. Their best win is still a loss to USC.

Other thoughts from this weekend?

Michigan and Michigan State was on ABC and ESPN in New Jersey this weekend. Apparently there wasn’t enough mediocre football to go around.

Wasn’t there a Big Ten Network made so we didn’t have to watch Northwestern and Iowa on ESPN?

Darren McFadden is inhuman (an Irish… maybe not). How hard is it to be his coach? “Hand off… left this time.”

LSU players have to be the toughest in the country. How many close games are they going to win this season?

Stupid UVA.

Real glad FSU is all fired up for their season after beating BC. Can’t wait to take them down a peg on Saturday.

USF is just not that good.

Syracuse vs. Pittsburgh should never ever be televised, even locally. What was their pull, 500 viewers? Add that to those in attendance, and you might break 576.

Real glad I have Adrian Peterson on my 3 fantasy teams.

Kansas looks legit, and they’ve earned their ranking. But I still think they get smoked by Texas, and definitely by Oklahoma.

Charlie Weis sucks. And he owes me $50.

So it was a good weekend. I still have the coming March for a 16-seed to pull a victory. Let’s go Hampton!!!