Archive for the ‘Brett Favre’ Category

Go. Away.

May 6, 2009

Brett Favre. Minnesota Vikings. They’re talking. Favre wants to come back and play for them. They want him to play for them. This deal will get done within the next two weeks. Favre will take about $3-5 million for a one-year contract. Book it.

This has officially been my last post about Brett Favre. Except when he comes back to play. Then I will post about him again, but rest assured that all of those posts will solely be me making fun of how he is a washed up loser and shouldn’t have signed with the Jets let alone with the Vikings. I will post no nice things. If you happen to see me write a nice thing about Brett Favre, look a little closer and you will see that it is more than likely a veiled insult. Or you don’t understand sarcasm. Until then, get your Brett Favre news from ESPN.

Just go away

April 30, 2009
Nice jorts, douche.

According to the Star-Ledger (Newark, NJ), Brett Favre has asked, and received, his release from the J-E-T-S, Jets Jets Jets.

Now there are people in the sports world saying that he may be in talks with the Vikings about coming back. This is getting stupid. He wasn’t good in his last year with the Packers and he sure as hell wasn’t good with the Jets this past season. He needs to take his wranglers and move on to some other career. Coaching (high school only), commercials, broadcasting (NFL network only), hell, write a friggin’ book, I don’t care, but DO NOT play football anymore. No one cares about you anymore.

Apparently a plane flew into the Hattiesburg airport from Minneapolis and left some time later to go back to Minnesota. This is the source for the rumors about Favre possibly going to the Vikes. If that sounds like kinda of a reach, know this – there were only 5 flights in and 6 flights out that day. so for you math nerds that would mean that 20% of the flights into the airport were from Minneapolis and 16.666% of the flights out of the Hattiesburg airport were heading to Minneapolis. I don’t know why I just wrote all of that, but I’m bored and you read it so it served it’s purpose.

Bottom line is that Favre needs to go away now. The end.

Emitt Smith axed by ESPN

February 24, 2009

For reasons unknown to me, Emmitt Smith has been fired from ESPN. This tragedy comes as a shock to myself and countless other linguists who thrived on Emmitt’s masterful usage of the English language. Like no other before him, and most likely no other after, Emmitt danced a beautiful ballet of words and grammar that enlightened the mind and inspired the uninspired.

What I don’t get is why do TV channels insist on having essentially illiterate and unintelligent former players as analysts. Just because they played the game better than many other before them does not mean that they can also master the art of speaking about their craft in front of millions of people. He should have gotten fired after the first friggin’ game he did because he was unintelligible and just embarrassing to watch. I mean come on:

I know five year olds who think they are a cat, literally think they are of the feline species, that speak exceedingly better than this guy. You can’t put that crap on TV and think that it’s going to work well. I mean the ESPN execs had to have interviewed him or at least had lunch with him before they put his ass on the screen, right? I mean he “corrected” himself from the right term to the wrong term. It’s like his brain was saying “This is the correct thing to say, say it” and he gave his own brain a big “F you, I’m going with my gut”.

Now I hear that they might replace him with Brett Favre. Whoopee. This should be fun. Because America isn’t sick of him as it is.