Archive for the ‘Boston sucks’ Category

Game 7 and 8: We hate everything

October 24, 2008
You knew this was coming. You knew it, and we knew it. No one wanted to say it, but we have looked pretty pathetic is most of our games. And it finally caught up with us.

We weren’t sure if it was actually going to be BC, but it was coming shortly.

Some thoughts on the game…

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Sweet Jesus, our offense is terrible. Mr. Stinespring, we’re sure you are a decent and upstanding man, but you are terrible at your job.

We don’t know the answer. You know who doesn’t know how to do my job? My CEO. But he can sure as hell tell if I’m bad at my job. We’re not saying we could do any better, but good lord man. The results speak for themselves.

5 turnovers. The defense forced 5 turnovers. Thankfully, 2 were returned for touchdowns. The chances of our offense scoring a touchdown from the red zone are less than negative.

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Remember when we were good on special teams? That sure was neat.

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You know what’s awesome? Kickball parties. They had free beer. FREE. BEER. Not kidding. Thank goodness they did. The game required much of it.

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Can we get some stick-um for our receivers?

Little Giants anyone?

We know ya’ll are young, but the ball almost got stuck in your facemasks. I suppose it wasn’t this bad.

This is how you lose an election to a guy with a 36% approval rating.

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Drunk dialing your dad to bitch about the game? Awesome.

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Two 45 yard field goals. The Closer. Still pimp.

Let’s be honest. No one pimps on TNT.

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All in all, Boston can suck it. We still hate you. We’ll see you in the ACC Championship. Won’t see your fans, but at least the team might be willing to make the trip.

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On to this week…

You know who we hate more than BC? Bobby F’ing Bowden and Florida State.

We hate everything about this school.

We hate that they have maroon as their color.

We hate their crimiNole players.

We know people like Jenn Sterger, but we do hate crabs. As well as the 3 STDs they named after her.

And we hate their racist chop.
CHOP picture photoshop

We’ve been trying to think of anything in our lives that was more satisfying than doing the mocking chop at the game last year. We wish we could come up with something, but we have to be honest. Until we have a child that wins the Superbowl, there will never be anything that will live up to that.

We all know how big this game is. It’s not a must win, but after last week, it kind of is. FSU is better than they have been in the past few years, but they are clearly beatable. Let’s see if we can actually come through when we need it.

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We are still sitting ok in the standings. That GT win looks better than ever, and the BC loss won’t hurt so badly since they are on the other side of the tracks.

But another loss, and Gah Tech is in the driver’s seat. We need to get this done, fellas. Time to step up to the plate when it matters.

Hero after this short prediction break.

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You know what time it is. It’s time for creepy prediction guy.

He watches you sleep…

We have a tie from last week’s predictions between The DiP and Lady Wright. We would let the lady win, but they’re both chicks. So we’ll go with the one not from Philly. Congrats to Lady Wright. Your trophy is our file photo of your boyfriend.

File photo

Enjoy.

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This week’s choices…

C Gally: 19 – 17 VT, No offensive touchdowns

Lady Wright: 24 – 21 VT

Maniak: 23 – 21 VT, The Closer closes

Meet Bag: 27 – 20 VT

Wright: 30 – 13 FSU

The Northerner: 24 – 21 VT

The DiP: 31 – 17 FSU

CMU Analyst: 31 – 26 FSU

The Bull: 21 – 13 FSU

G-Way: 21 – 10 VT

B Dubs: 24 – 10 FSU

Poppa Gally: Didn’t actually submit any score, but let’s assume Tech victory with 3 blocked kicks.

Quite the pessimistic crew we have around these parts. Or as we like to say, a lot of people that hate America.

Go Tech. Fire Stinespring.

LET’S GO HOKIES!!!!

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So what the hell do we do now? We went with Babe Ruth last time and got burned. We even threw in some Sandlot references for good measure.

We need this win. It has to happen.

So who do we need?

We need someone that knows Florida.
Where do we turn?

You guessed it.

Ponce de Leon

The guy is just classically awesome. Make it happen, good sir.

LET’S GO HOKIES!!!!

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