Archive for the ‘Boston Red Sox’ Category

Weekend recap

August 10, 2009

I got shivers last night. I turned on the TV to NBC and saw something magical. More on that later.

1. Tiger Woods won his 70th tournament. He’s now won two since not making the cut at his last major. I think he’s pissed now.

2. Let’s get this over with. The Red Sox played like shit and the pitching was horrendous. Save for the second game where Beckett pitched, and Lester did all right, not great. But the Yankees swept the Sox and now put the Sox back a lot of games and tied with the Rangers… and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

3. My level of upset-ness was dropped a few notches when I turned on the television last night to see FOOTBALL BEING PLAYED! Completely forgot this was the HOF game weekend and the start of preseason football. My body quivered with anticipation as I watched about ten minutes of the Titans smacking around the Bills. What? It was the Titans and the Bills! Ten minutes is a big investment.

4. The Red Sox designated Smoltz for assignment on Friday after his shitshow of a pitching performance on Thursday. Finally. I mean this guy was once good. Not in the AL East apparently. Glad to see we have to lose eight fucking games to figure that out.

5. In honor of the football season getting on its feet again, here is the salary crunch thing from ESPN again, now with Eli Manning’s new salary! Get your bottle of scotch ready, boys!

That’s all I’ve got for you now. Look forward to ACC Coastal teams in this weeks lineup of HateFest 2009.

The John Smoltz Experiment has failed

August 7, 2009

Three and a third innings pitched, eight runs (all earned) on nine hits with four walks, three strikeouts, and two home runs. He had four swinging strikes. FOUR SWINGING STRIKES. His ERA now sits at a healthy 8.32. By healthy I mean a healthy weight for a newborn child. That ERA should never remain in the starting rotation for a major league team. Ever.

This guy has turned from a HOF legend to a guaranteed loss every time he steps on the mound. Please Tito, please take him off the roster and put him in the bullpen. He isn’t helping us at all. And granted the other pitchers gave up five runs, but let’s be honest, after the first eight, everyone just stopped trying so hard.

I don’t know who the Sox can send in his place, but anyone would be better than this. At least no one could be worse. Send in Michael Bowden. Give him a shot. Hell, give Delcarmen a shot. I mean we cannot have the one-two run fest of Smoltz and Penny and expect to get to the post season, let alone win in the post season.

Smoltz is done. He knows it. We know it. The Yankees know it. Let’s not keep going with this charade of “I still feel great, I just don’t know why they’re getting hits off me”. Hang up the boots, brother. You had a great run. Don’t pull a Favre. You’re better than that.

Pittsburgh is now officially Boston’s AAAA farm team

July 22, 2009

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that I couldn’t find ONE picture of Jason Bay and Adam LaRoche.

PITTSBURGH — The Boston Red Sox added one of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ middle-of-the-order hitters for the second time in as many seasons, acquiring first baseman Adam LaRoche on Wednesday for two mid-level prospects.

In my triumphant return to the NEZ after the best-wedding-to-ever-happen-on-the-face-of-the-earth as well as a pretty damn good honeymoon, I have the great pleasure of informing you all that the Red Sox have pre-meditated an injury at either first, third, or DH and have picked up one of the Pirates better players in one-half of the LaRoche Brothers. Some key points on this trade and what it means for all involved:

1. The Pirates got rid of a free agent at seasons end and picked up two prospects (a hitter with comparable stats to LaRoche and a pitcher who hasn’t shit the bed on the mound) from a farm system known to be best in the league. An oddly smart move for the Buccos.

2. The Red Sox got an insurance plan for three players (not all at one time though) and with one having a bum hip (still) and another still getting his hitting questioned, this is a good acquisition for Theo, only losing parts they could afford to lose (read: they weren’t heading to The Show anytime soon).

3. Now that they are on different teams, the LaRoche Brothers can now only have “LaRoche” on the back of their uni’s rather than the I’m-not-unique “Ad. LaRoche” and “An. LaRoche”.

4. Freddy Sanchez and Jack Wilson better have their bags already packed, because one or both of them are not going to be in Pittsburgh nine days from now. Guaranteed.

Anyway, on a different note, I’m loving this HateFest 2009 business and urge all the readers to contribute to the comment section and email us any thoughts you have on any teams you may hate, dislike, or loathe with the fire of a thousand suns. Oh and the Yankees suck.

What the hell…

July 1, 2009

I go to bed at the end of the sixth inning after a rain delay, with the Sox up 9-1 against the Orioles. I wake up to a text message telling me the end of the game stats to find out the Orioles came back and won the game 11-10. What. The. Fuck.

Apparently this is the biggest comeback in Orioles team history, so congrats douchebags, you still suck. I just can’t believe Boston sucked this hard at the end of the game. Did they think they had this thing in the bag after 6 innings? What happened to the bats for the last three innings that they could only scare up one run? I mean it’s not like they hadn’t been hitting all night. I don’t know what the hell is going on but I’m starting to feel bad for John Smoltz. Guy can’t catch a break lately.

Well hold this one near and dear Baltimore, because you ain’t getting a win out of us again this year. You made the mistake of showing your hand too early, and now Boston is going to play all the games against you the whole way through. I wouldn’t be shocked if you had a bigger beatdown than back in August of 2007 against the Rangers. Here is the boxscore of that game in case you forgot. Don’t come crying to me when the Red Sox win 45-2 sometime soon. You asked for it.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
TEX (55-70) 0 0 0 5 0 9 0 10 6 30 29 1
BAL (58-66) 1 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 9 1

Editor’s note: Doesn’t Baltimore realize they are only there to lose games and give infield practice to teams? What do they think they’re doing winning games?

Weekend recap

June 22, 2009

Just one week ago we were laughing and talking about how the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. That seems like a distant memory now, and we must move on from that concert of luck to see what’s going on in the rest of the sports world. Oh and this effing rain can cut the shit and go away for a while. Like after July 11th.

1. Tiger Woods is not doing well (relatively) at Bethpage. As we speak, Lucas Glover and Ricky Barnes are through 1 and tied at -7. Update again at the end of this post. Mickelson is also not doing great, but he isn’t out of it yet, tied for 3rd at -2 through 2.

2. On a related note, our boy Drew Weaver made the cut on the second day, and currently t40 at +7. What? You want to make fun? You go +7 at Bethpage. No, don’t apologize to me, apologize to Drew. Dick.

3. Red Sox won. Yankees lost. Mets lost. Pirates played. Everyone was happy. Well not everyone, namely NY fans, but who the hell cares about them? Not me! I say. Sox take on your precious Nationals tonight, who seem to have a uncharacteristic winning streak of sorts going. Now the interesting thing here is who are the fairweather DC fans to root for? Their precious bandwagon Red Sox, or their suddenly “not craptacular” hometown Nationals? What to do, what to do? Aww hell, just root for the Caps, no one will know the difference.

4. Wimbledon opens today, yes we know this isn’t weekend news, but with baseball and golf being the only sports going on right now, it’s tough to get enough news here. Will Federer win? Yes. Nadal is gone due to injury, so who will beat him? Roddick? Blake? The Williams sisters? Ha!

5. The US advanced in the Confederations Cup by beating Egypt 3-nil. After the US got crushed by Italy and Brazil, the only way they could advance was by beating Egypt by (take a guess) 3 goals, AND Italy losing to Brazil by at least 3 goals. Guess how much Italy lost by. WRONG. Italy did in fact lose by 3 goals, and we get to go to the semis. Oh, I already said that so you probably did guess Italy lost by three. Sorry, you were right. My b.

6. US Open Update: Nothing has changed. These guys are making a liar out of me. Barnes and Glover are still through 1 tied at -7, Mickelson is through 2 at -2, and Woods is through 7 at E. Drew Weaver is through 10 at +7 overall and +2 on the day. Go Drew!

The Universe is aligning itself

June 18, 2009

Some interesting stuff happened in the baseball world last night. These included David Ortiz raising his average to .213(!) – with three runs and a double, Brad Penny taking a liner off the chest and brushed it off like a fly and then kept pitching, Brad Penny winning his 100th game, the Red Sox having their 500th consecutive sellout, Roy Halladay – arguably the best pitcher in the MLB – got put on the DL, effectively ending the Blue Jay’s chance of winning this season, the Pirates are only three (3) games under .500 (almost halfway through the season! this could be Pittsburgh’s year), and the “mighty” Yankees took one on the chin from the Nationals, whose win last night accounted for 5.8% of their total season wins (to put that in perspective, one win is only 2.5% of the Red Sox’s wins and 3.2% of the Pirates’ – the Nats only have 17 wins now). The baseball gods are smiling down upon the North End Zone today. Go and sacrifice a hotdog.

Your tears sustain me

June 13, 2009

Keep crying Joe, it won’t get old.

A baseball official told 1050 ESPN Radio in New York that the Yankees called the commissioner’s office Friday to ask that Brad Penny be suspended for hitting Alex Rodriguez in the back during the first inning of Thursday night’s Red Sox win.

“Penny’s control was pretty good,” Girardi said. “I thought it was on purpose.”

Yankees pitchers have hit Red Sox players nine times this season. Rodriguez was the third Yankee to be plunked. After Rodriguez was hit, the teams were warned and there were no further incidents. The Red Sox are 8-0 against the Yankees this year. The teams don’t meet again until Aug. 6 at Yankee Stadium.

Yeah, the Red Sox have hit the Yankees a third of the times the Yankees have hit the Sox, everyone in the world knows that Joba headhunts Youk every game he pitches against him, yet Brad Penny should be the one suspended. Gotta love ’em and their drunken logic.

Gloatin’ time

June 12, 2009

From the New York Daily News:

BOSTON – If the Yankees and Red Sox are headed for a date with destiny in the ALCS as many believe, then Boston should start making World Series plans.

Like I always said, when the going gets tough for New York sports teams, their fans and the media shit on them harder than the elephant that killed his zookeeper with poo. Not only are they only two games back (IN JUNE), but they were playing at Fenway, away from home, in one of most hostile environments for them. That’s like if UVa was good (try to imagine…we’re in pretend world now) and the Hokies went and lost at Scott Stadium (still pretend world) in the third week and then shat on the rest of their season. OK back to real world.

But enough of the feigned sympathy. The Sox crushed them (spirit-wise, it was a one-run game and the Sox had to come back down two). The Sox are now 8-0 on the season against them and 9-0 dating back to last year. The Sox play them 19 times this season, so the way I look at it is, all I want is at least two more wins, and we won the season series against them putting us in a better position for the post season. Of course I want more than two wins, but I will be happy with the fact that we took 8 straight in 2009 from them, home and away. Oh and Papi hit two home runs this series, doubling his season total. Hopefully this is the start of something beautiful. Who knew that playing the Yankees would be the swift kick in the pants he needed (fingers crossed) to get going. Also, Boston’s pitching is lights out. Rotation and bullpen. Suck on that one, rest of the league.

On a side note: NBA season is almost over!! In the words of CGally: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Also, the Pirates are only 4 games under .500 and 5 games out of first place in their division. Could this year be it?

Sportsgasm

June 9, 2009

Let’s look at the lineup for tonight:

  • NBA Finals game 3
  • Stanley Cup Final Game Game 6
  • Phillies v. Mets
  • Yankees v. Red Sox

If you don’t have your popcorn ready tonight, I’m sending TO after you.

It seems like the sports gods have decided that today is a good day to make television into a sports clusterf@*k. And it doesn’t really get any calmer until next week. Needless to say there will be more bball, and the Stanley Cup could go to a Game 7, but the main draw is that after the Yankees/Red Sox and Phils/Mets series we do a little switcheroo and we have a subway series going down in the Bronx as well as what some are saying could be a World Series preview between the Phightin’s and the Sox.

So pick something to watch tonight, because there will be a quiz tomorrow. If you want to see some (fingers crossed) magic, watch the best rivalry in sports, because my boy Beckett is on the hill, and he means business.

Weekend recap

May 26, 2009

This past weekend was chock full of awesome shit going down including, but not limited to, the fact that I went on a tour of Fenway Park, got to go inside the Monster, ate lunch with Jed Lowrie, took in two Sox games, watched some BP from behind the plate, and got to try on the 2004 and 2007 World Series rings as well as hold the trophies. As for the deal of the recap, I got roped into an important project as soon as I got into work, and just now am getting some break time. So here we go.

1. Helio Castroneves won the Indy 500 for the third time in his career. For a guy who just barely beat a tax evasion rap which would have sent him to the clink for roughly 6 years only a few weeks ago, I would say this a pretty nice comeback.

2. The Penguins now lead the Caps 3-0 in the series and can close it out tonight. Will they? Won’t they? All we know is that the Red Wings will probably win another Cup because they are straight up dominating the Blackhawks. The Pens look good, but they don’t look that good. And from that, we get a potential success story from a city that, no arguments, needs it. But no one will care anyways, because who the hell is still left in Detroit to root for the Red Wings. (also, they win the award for the grossest nickname in sports. look it up on urbandictionary.com if you don’t get it)

3. The Sox dropped two of three to the Mets this weekend, but it was OK, because they are the Mets and they are going to miss the playoffs yet again while we take the World Series for the 3rd time this decade. On a related note, I have come to the conclusion that New York fans are the worst fans in the world. Worse than Boston fans, worse than Philly fans (gasp!) and worse than Dallas fans. They are the most fairweathered, in-your-face-when-we’re-winning, start-shit-with-people-for-no-reason, obnoxious and trashy fans out there. Go to a New York sporting event and you will see exactly what I mean.

4. The Cavs and Lakers will be playing each other in the NBA Finals, just as everyone called at the beginning of the… what? The Lakers are tied up 2-2 and the Magic lead the Cavs 2-1? Damn, that sucks for you analysts out there who claimed these series’ were going to be easy wins.

5. Jose Canseco had his MMA debut and got his ass taken down in a swift minute seventeen when he fought a ginormous Korean named Hong Man Choi. Choi dropped Canseco to the mat and went to town on his head forcing the refs to call the fight while it was still in the first round. Guess Canseco will really stop at nothing to keep himself in the spotlight, or is it that he’s as broke as Lenny Dykstra? A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

6. Cornell knocked off UVa (yay!) to take on Syracuse, who, for those of you who don’t know, is a friggin’ college lacrosse powerhouse. Cornell pulled the upset by being a five-seed to UVa’s two-seed, and led ‘Cuse all game long. That is until the Big Orange tied it up with 4 seconds left in the game. Then in overtime, Syracuse put the finishing move on Cornell and dropped one in to win 10-9. I tried to explain this to CGally, but for those of you who like hockey, you should really pay attention to lacrosse. It’s basically hockey in the air. The only difference is really the scoring, which may be a big deal, but the game is so fast and exciting, I’m willing to bet anyone watching it will be hooked immediately. There are few other sports where you can be down by five scores with less than a minute left and still win. I’ve seen it happen. Several times. Check it out. It’s worth it.

So there you go, hope you had a nice Memorial Day Weekend, and a few beers to help kick off summer.