Archive for the ‘boston college sucks’ Category

Hatefest 2009: Why We Hate… Boston College

August 25, 2009

Oh Boston College, you are adorable. Tech just dangles that piece of bacon in front of your face, and at the last second we yank it away. Then we leave for Miami to play in a BCS Bowl.

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The Team
The Eagles have been a solid rival in the ACC. We’ve apparently struck a deal in which they win the regular season game, while Tech takes the ACC Championship. We both wind up in Florida for bowl season, but BC goes to the Boca Raton Bowl and is usually all finished up by Christmas.

Matt-f***ing-Ryan will live in VT lore forever. Not that we knew it at the time, but his last minute drive to take down the Hokies on that fateful Thursday night kept us out of the National title game and the opportunity to get rolled twice in a season by LSU.

And remember go Jagoffinski? “The fans will not be a factor. We just came from Notre Dame, the crowd will not effect us.” How was the Douchebag.com Bowl or wherever the hell you wound up that year? In fairness, he was fired from BC. I think he’s selling insurance with Major Harris right now.

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The Fans
Fans? JMU women’s tennis has more devoted fans than BC football. I’d love to rag on supporters of the Eagles, but I honestly haven’t met one.

Other teams have alumni that travel to bowl games. BC just pays local homeless people to attend the games in yellow shirts.

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The Town
Boston sucks.

That was for The Northerner. But seriously, haven’t been. I assume that as a college town, it’s kind of a drag. Nothing gives you that small town college feel like 5 million people.

It’s always about 20 degrees outside during the school year. No one in the town cares about anything other than the “FAHCKIN’ SAWX”. Everyone talks in that annoying accent. Sounds like a great place to be a college football fan/athlete.

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The School
The school’s pretty solid. But who has Astroturf any more? Do you think the 20 people in the stands like to watch that kind of football?

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Alumni
Just like their football team, the BC alumni just can’t seem to make it. From John Kerry to Amy Poehler, the Eagles just can’t seem to make it happen. Tina Fey and George Bush will always come out on top.

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I guess that’s enough kicking of teams when they’re already down. Florida schools get theirs this week.

Get ready folks, only 4 more schools to destroy until kickoff.

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Hatefest 2009

July 7, 2009

Many philosophers have attempted to explain the human race’s love affair with sports. Is it the competition? The team atmosphere? The feeling of community?

But alas, the answer is simple: HATE.

There is nothing better than that feeling of completely and utterly crushing your opponent into the mud… except when that opponent happens to be a hated rival.

As put best by Will Blythe (author of a Duke-UNC rivalry book), “To hate like this is to be happy forever.”

We all hate. We hate so many teams (our list came out to 23) for so many different reasons. Some are obvious (UVA). Some a little more nuanced (JMU). Some are because of the fans (WVU, Maryland, Pitt…trails off). Some are because of the uppity-ness of the school (Duke). Some are because of their success (USC). Hell, some are because of the band (JMU, again). And some are because of the “memories” they left us with (Radford).

But whatever the reason, the hate feels good. And in the doldrums of summer, we see no reason not to indulge ourselves in a little 8-week hate fest.

Yes, we only have 8 weeks to go (give or take a few days) until kickoff. Each week we will present you with a new category and group of schools:

Week 1: Mid-Majors or Less
Yes, we can hate on the little guys: ECU, Temple, JMU

Week 2: Big Names We Never Play
Some because of jealousy; some are because Charlie Weis is fat: Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame

Week 3: Big Names We’ve Sometimes Played
Lately, the results have not been pretty: USC, Auburn, LSU

Week 4: Big East Teams
The only way we could hate them more is if we had alimony payments: WVU, Pitt, Syracuse

Week 5: ACC Coastal
One day, we’ll think about letting them win an ACC title: UNC, Georgia Tech, Duke

Week 6: ACC Atlantic
One day, we’ll think about letting them win an ACC title: BC, Maryland, NC State, Clemson

Week 7: Teams from America’s Wang
We hated these teams long before a few were in our conference: Miami, Florida, Florida State

Week 8: UVA
UVA

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But we can’t do this alone. Please feel free to email us any stories you may have that have led to your bitter hatred of any team.

Don’t worry if your hated school isn’t on the list. Did a girlfriend leave you for a douche from Colorado? We want it. Are you our Carnegie Mellon Super Scientific Football Analyst and hate Greensburg Technical School for the Blind? Send in your seething description of why. Heck, if you really really hate Syracuse, we’ll let you guest blog.

So get your entries in. Hatefest 2009 starts on Monday.

Note the tags on this post. All but “Hatefest 2009” has been used at some point in our humble site’s young career.

Boston College quarterback seeks school with lower standards

June 2, 2009

It’s not safe to say that the Eagles won’t be any good this year. But losing their only quarterback with any legit playing time is not going to help:

Boston College quarterback Dominique Davis has decided to transfer after he was suspended by the university for academic reasons, the school announced Tuesday.

The move leaves the Eagles without any quarterbacks who have thrown a pass at the Football Bowl Subdivision level. Both Justin Tuggle, a redshirt freshman, and Codi Boek, a junior who transferred last year from American River Junior College after starting his career in 2006 at Idaho State, were competing with Davis for the starting job this spring.

To be fair, American River Junior College is the class of Division VIII football.

There’s no word on where exactly Davis is headed. Probably somewhere like FSU or Ohio State, where you pretty much need to color inside the lines to get in.

But for now, we can sit back and enjoy our biggest Atlantic Division rival* tear themselves apart deciding between two not-very-talented quarterbacks. A tough position to be in that is usually reserved for the Cleveland Browns.

Have fun in the Humanitarian Bowl, ya douches.

*(right? we’re in the Coastal? meh.)