Archive for the ‘Boston Bruins’ Category

Bad day for Boston

May 15, 2009

Son of a bitch. Today was not a good day for Boston sports. The Celtics lost. The Red Sox lost in extra innings. And of course, the Bruins lost in overtime. I hope the Penguins get gang raped by the Hurricanes. I’m thinking sweep of all shut outs. And Sidney Crosby gets his face Rod Brind’Amour-ed. Yeah, the bitterness starts when my teams don’t do well. Deal with it.

Game 7, bitches.

May 13, 2009

In what may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in terms of consecutive hockey posts, the Beantown Bears crush the Gale-force Winds in game 6 to force the full series. Penguins-Capitals in Game 7 tomorrow. Watch it.

On a side note, the ‘Canes crushed the Bruins in one aspect of the game: the Storm Girls are wayyy hotter than the Ice Girls. That one really wasn’t a competition.

He’s a man’s man

May 12, 2009

RALEIGH, N.C. – A punch to the face probably won’t keep Aaron Ward off the ice. Despite a broken bone in his face, the Boston Bruins defenseman says he expects to play in Tuesday night ‘s Game 6 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. He was punched by Carolina’s Scott Walker two nights earlier during a late-game dustup that drew a $2,500 fine — but no suspension — for the Hurricanes forward.

The guy got suckerpunched – whether Walker thinks he was in an altercation or not – and is set on playing in the game tonight. Damn. I wonder if he pisses testosterone.

Match this up next to pretty much every other sport and you have the makings of a mismatch.

Let’s look at some of the injuries in the other sports, shall we?

Kendrick Perkins – Sore shoulder
Dustin Pedroia – Sore groin
Dontrelle Willis – Anxiety disorder
Manny Ramirez – Female infertil… oops, nevermind.
Lamar Odom – Sore back
Chris Carpenter – Annual injury
Yao Ming – Hurt foot
Chien Ming Wang – Awful pitching

and then Aaron Ward – Broken orbital bone in his face.

Out of those listed, guess who’s still playing. Well you don’t have to because I already told you, but I made my point.

Weekend recap

May 11, 2009

This weekend was Mother’s Day, so I hope you all called your mom since she went through the trouble of sleeping with your dad and then pushing you out of her private region. That can’t be fun for anyone.

1. The Bruins finally woke the eff up and shutout the Hurricanes last night to make the series 3-2 in favor of Carolina. Let’s hope the Bruins keep this up, take the series back to Boston for game 6, and get down to this winning business. The losing joke isn’t funny anymore. Oh and Ward might be out due to a sucker punch which came because apparently Ward didn’t know that when you fight, people move their fists at your face in a fast motion. The Ward on the Bruins, not the Canes goalie. Damn.

The Penguins and Capitals have themselves involved in quite the catfight. The Pens are up 3-2 in the series, and the Capitals are looking to recoup and get revenge. Stay tuned to see how this turns out. (Spoiler alert: One of them wins.)

2. The Yankees beat the Orioles last night on Judas Damon’s three-run homer in the 7th. The score doesn’t matter. The big story of this game that has all of New York up in arms is that Aubrey Huff had the nerve, THE NERVE, to fist pump in Joba’s direction after he jacked one in the first. See, the overly excited fist pump in the opponents direction is Joba’s thing.

Now I know you guys are going to point out to me that Papelbon does the same thing when he gets the save and goes nuts and looks ridiculous, because that’s what you guys do, jerks. But I’m going to say this to preemptively rebut your argument. Papelbon is justified when he does it at home. He can do whatever the eff he wants when he does it at home. If he does it on the road (which he usually doesn’t) then he deserves to get his shit rocked.

Joba on the other hand, does it at home, on the road, in the locker room, at the bar, when he brings home a guy (yes in this joke Joba is gay), and after he brushes his teeth. He does it too much. He also did it last year when he struck out Aubrey Huff. (Note: Huff played on the Orioles last year, too. Wow, you struck out an Oriole. Good job.) So in my opinion, Huff was completely justified and gave the Orioles some street cred by throwing it in the face of the Bush League Wonder.

3. Tiger Woods is playing like crap (Tiger’s standards) and finished eighth in this weekend’s tourney. Something has got to be wrong with him. It could either be the fact that his knee isn’t back to full strength, he has some little pipsqueaks running around his house now, or his wife is insatiable and keeps sucking the energy from him on a daily basis. You be the judge.

4. The Celtics came out and evened the series against the gay-ly named Magic at two games apiece while the series moves back up to Beantown. Big Baby hit a jumper as time ran out to put the C’s up by one to end the game. Annnnnnd we’re done with basketball for this post.

5. Some tennis guy apparently did coke and got caught. His name is Richard Gasquet and he’s ranked 23rd. Now he’s banned and he denies doing coke, even though he had both pee tests come up positive. Someone needs to tell him to just come out and admit it, because cocaine isn’t like PEDs where there are several different things you could take grouped under a single name-umbrella. Coke is coke. You don’t take something from GNC or prescribed by your doctor and then suddenly see that “oh, shit, there was cocaine in that” when the test comes around. The only thing you can take to give a positive cocaine test is: Cocaine. Oh, he’s also French, and a douchnozzle.

6. The Jets, in a fully thought-out and highly intelligent move, are rumored to be going after free agent Adam Jones. That would be Adam “Pacman” Jones. Don’t worry, I have already said some prayers, lit some candles, slaughtered a baby goat and danced naked in the rain at exactly midnight to make sure this thing happens. Nothing would be better than to see all the hard work and smart moves the Jets have made thus far vanish in the stroke of a pen when the disease that is Pacman comes to their team. Keep your fingers crossed.

In honor of Mother’s Day, here is an instant classic from SNL:

Weekend recap

May 4, 2009

The fiancee had her second bridal shower this weekend, so I spent the last two days drinking at the bar at the restaurant the shower was at, and putting all the gifts away in our tiny ass apartment after. Needless to say I’m tired. Please forgive any rambling or sentences sense no make that.

1. Starting this all off with some playoff hockey: the Penguins lost to the Capitals. The Caps dominated the game, crushing the Pens 3-2. This one was in the bag for Washington the whole time. Pittsburgh had no chance against the mighty Caps and the score shows that.

Also the Bruins won one and lost one. As the previous post says, the loss comes from Cam Ward’s amazing game. Tim Thomas also had a not-so-good game, so I’m sure that helps.

2. The Kentucky Derby went on this weekend, and I don’t know if it was because I was busy or what, but I honestly couldn’t give two shits about it. A big long-shot won at 50-1 odds, and that horse was Mine That Bird. Mine That Bird is not fully expected to run in the Preakness, and being 50-1 odds in the Derby give evidence that we will more than likely not be getting a Triple Crown winner again this year. Despite the odds, though, Mine That Bird crushed the competition coming from the very back of the pack weaving his way to the front and then winning by about 6 1/2 lengths. I think that was a record or something. I don’t know. I’m miles away right now.

3. The Dallas Cowboys practice facility collapsed from the effects of a large powerful storm. Twelve people were hurt and they’re saying one might be paralyzed. No jokes here.

4. Carl f#%@ing Crawford embarrassed Jason Varitek this weekend by swiping 6 bases in the game on Sunday. This ties a major league record for stolen bases in a single game. I then had to hear about it from my cousins in Tampa who just recently decided to become Rays fans. I felt badly for awhile, but then remembered they lived in Tampa.

5. The Boston Celtics finally beat the Chicago Bulls in the seventh game of the series. This one the Celts won by 10 which was the biggest win of the entire series. No overtime this time, though the whole 7-gamer went to 7 total overtimes.

6. Manny Pacquiao literally beat the crap out of Ricky Hatton. Hatton was knocked down thrice in the match, and then finally, a dreammaker to his chin put him down for the night. Pacquiao is a small guy, but apparently he is fast and hits pretty hard. I wouldn’t want to eff with him. At this point, I also wouldn’t want to bet against him.

Enough already

May 4, 2009
He would have a Steelers helmet in his apartment. Douche.

Cam Ward can stop having the game of his life tonight. There’s four minutes left in the game and the Hurricane’s goalie has 33 saves, pretty much all of them lucky ones. I feel like all the announcers are saying is “Another save by Ward”. This funny business can stop now.

OK, as I was typing this and searching for a picture of him, they beat the Bruins. Effing Cam Ward.

Also, as I was watching the game I noticed a resemblance between CGally and Zdeno Chara. It may because I’ve been drinking though.

File photos.

Moving on to Round 2

April 29, 2009

Yes, we are the only blog that is brave enough to have TWO (2) NHL posts IN A ROW. We’re ballsy and you know it.

Last night the Caps beat the Rangers 2-1 in a choke job by the Rangers reminiscent of the NY Mets over the last two years. The Rangers were leading the series 3-1 and lost it all in game 7. “Fans” in DC are celebrating ecstatically.

The Hurricanes have done it again, and pulled one out of their asses in the last minute twenty to score two goals and lock up game 7 of their series.

Looking ahead, the match ups for round 2 have been announced and just to bring it full circle, we have the Penguins playing the Capitals, with the Pens being the 4-seed to the Caps 2-seed. We also have the Bruins taking on the Hurricanes. This one is tough, because I am rooting for the Bruins, but there are still some deeply buried sympathies for the former Whalers. But, there is no time like the present, and I will put away those sympathies and cheer on the Bears.

On a side note, when the ‘Canes won the Stanley Cup a few years ago, they were playing the Edmonton Oilers, and won the cup 4 games to 3. Two of those games were lost solely because the announcer at the rink played Brass Bonanza, the old Whalers theme song. The local radio station host said that they would never play the theme song again unless the Mayor of Edmonton called and requested it. He did, and guess what. They lost the third game. The song was not played again for the rest of the series and the ‘Canes went on to win the Cup. Soooo, below is Brass Bonanza (you may recognize it from NHL ’94?). Listen to it. Enjoy it. Play it in front of any Hurricanes player you come across. Let it work it’s magic.

Look out sports world

April 23, 2009

Bruins win the series in a 4-game sweep of the Habs. Red Sox sit the Twins down twice in a day. Tom Brady is still married to Gisele. There ain’t no stopping us. Boston is making another run to dominate the sports world. Watch out.

Great commercial or greatest commercial?

April 15, 2009

This has been floating around on the internet for the last few days, but who would we be if we posted fresh, new, never-seen-before things? Not The North End Zone, that’s for sure! Anyways, to steal a line from Stephen Colbert, is this a great commercial or the greatest commercial? Voice your opinion in the comment section.

The NHL playoffs start tonight, be prepared for multiple overtimes

April 15, 2009

Oh Spring, you are such an underrated time of the year for sports. March Madness, the Draft, and most importantly, the NHL playoffs.

You know you look back fondly at the 3 hours of sleep after that 4 overtime game. Sure work sucked the next day, but you got over it. And now you are ready to hit it up all over again.

The Eastern Conference playoffs should be interesting on this here site. The Northerner is apparently a Bruins fan when they get the #1 seed. The DiP is a pretty die hard Flyers fan. And your humble editor is a rather annoying Penguins fan.

Everything gets started tonight at 7. We’ll try to provide some insight, but don’t hold your breath. I haven’t posted in so long that I’m surprised Blogger didn’t cancel my account.

If you are wondering whether I made this post simply to display the picture above, I can honestly say that is 100% accurate.