Archive for the ‘Albert Haynesworth’ Category

‘Skins throw money at Haynesworth

February 27, 2009

The Redskins just signed Albert Haynesworth to a 7-year, $100 million dollar contract.

According to ESPN:

The deal, which was reached early Friday morning, includes $41 million in guarantees. During the first 13 months of the contract, Haynesworth will earn approximately $32 million…the deal could end up maxing out at $115 million based on his performance, according to sources.

I think it’s now necessary to ask: How much money does Dan Snyder have? Does he keep it in a locked silo like Scrooge McDuck and then go swimming in a sea of gold coins and dollar bills? Why was Scrooge McDuck so angry? Are Huey, Duey, and Louie his nephews from his side or is he married? I want answers, dammit!

Also, the politically-incorrect name for Native Americans have signed VT alum and troublemaker-turned-above-average cornerback DeAngelo Hall to a 6-year, $54 million contract, with the hopes that he will pay dividends when he realizes the world is his oyster and stops being a douche about things.

Scrooge McDuck is still a free agent and has not had any offers as of yet.