Hatefest 2009: Why We Hate… WVU


This is a post that has been in the works for a long time. If it wasn’t made clear before, your humble editor hails from Hokie-hater central: Morgantown, West Virginia.

With a Hokie family, I grew up as a fan of a team not located in Morgantown. This basically turned me into the devil. And when people found out the team I supported was Virginia Tech, they actually thought I needed an exorcism.

There are so many reasons for all of us to hate on WVU. That loss in 2002 was probably the worst I’ve ever experienced. (Nothing like getting back to the dorm to find 35 instant messages on the computer.)

So let’s fire this thing up, burn some bridges, lose some friends, and get it started.

—————————–
The Town
It’s hard for me to bash the town. It is the hometown, and there’s always a sentiment there. On top of that, it is a lot like Blacksburg. It’s pretty much a normal college town with downtown bars and frat houses.

However, there is the issue that the town is pretty much on top of the campus. Hell, they had to design a people mover system to get students between two campuses divided by the actual town.

And WVU students are more experienced in hills than a 22 year old gay guy. I don’t understand how there could be any overweight people at that school. Getting to classes is like climbing the Andes. I guess drinking 16 gallons of beer every week could add on a few pounds, though.

That’s all I have for the town. I know there is plenty more, but I can’t bring myself to truly rip on it. Feel free to have at it in the comments.

—————————–
The Team
It may be my favorite thing in the world when a WVU fan brings up the Vicks. Adam “Pacman” Jones was on house arrest during the season! He was allowed to go to class (HA!), practice, and games. Chris Henry is keeping a scrapbook of mugshots.

At least everyone found out what a douche Rich Rod really is. Though, Bill Stewart is likely to redefine the word “mediocre” in the coming years.

WVU is the winningist football program in Division I-A to have never won a National Championship. They played for one a few years ago but… oh wait, they lost to 4-7 Pitt with the Championship Game on the line? At home? BWAHAHAHA.


Seriously, that was the best day of all time. Tech had just locked up the Orange Bowl that afternoon, and WVU had possibly the biggest choke in the history of college football. If you didn’t know why college football is awesome after that day, we feel bad for you.

—————————–

The Students
Heeeeeeeeeeere we go! This is a little more like it.

Oh, to be a WVU student. One must grasp a certain level of intelligence to even be considered entry into the school. Color inside the lines? You’re in. Complete an easy Sudoku? Full ride!

And this isn’t just one of our bad school jokes. We actually have numbers this time!

According to a 2006 article in USAToday, WVU had an acceptance rate of 92.4%. Out of the 857 school listed, only 31 had a higher rate.

What about the 768 kids (out of 10,049 applicants) that were rejected that year? Luckily, we hear they are straight-A students at West Virginia State, which had the highest acceptance rate at 100%.

And my God, the school is infested with Jersey kids. They’re everywhere! I guess when you’re accepting 92% of applicants, there’s gotta be some sort of hair gel quota that needs to be reached.

The students do party. Well, not so much “party” as “drink a fifth of Jack at 7 pm before going to a party and passing out in the yard at 10”. I visited a lot of my freshmen friends the year WVU was ranked as the #1 party school in the country. The article was the equivalent of that one Bob Marley poster. It was pretty much required to be posted on the dorm room wall at all times.

—————————–

The Fans and Alumni
Oh man, this section should probably have its own post. But I’ll try to keep it short.

Mountaineer fans are consistently ranked in the top 5 of worst college football fans. There’s always a fight between them, Terps fans, and Florida State supporters. What great company to have.

That’s not to say they don’t support their team. They’re just unusually douchey about it.

There aren’t many places the Hokies travel to where fans don’t show their orange and maroon until they get to their seats. But Morgantown is one of them. And how can you blame us? I’ve seen away fans have beer poured on them outside the stadium, be pissed on inside the bathroom, and cursed at by 5 year olds. It’s not a fun experience. And on top of that, the fans leave early if the team is losing (see: Louisville game, 2005).

This is also a fan base that hung Bobby Bowden in effigy and drove him out of town in 1975. Yeah, THAT Bobby Bowden. How’d that work out for you guys, by the way?

There are a few notable alumni: Don Knotts, Billy Mays, Tommy and Terry Bowden, and Jeff Hostetler. Notice the lack of non-sports related achievements. Billy Mays, really? How could you not have that fact shouted from the rooftops?

Also, the entire city of Morgantown is WVU alumni. People don’t leave. It’s like Pleasantville, with more couch fires.

—————————–
I think that pretty much covers it without writing an even longer novel. I’d recommend never visiting Morgantown. You probably don’t want to be there, and they certainly don’t want you there.
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14 Responses to “Hatefest 2009: Why We Hate… WVU”

  1. The Northerner Says:

    It's funny how soul-less people want you to have an exorcism.

  2. C Gally Says:

    I'm a ginger, so I don't have a soul anyways.

    ———-

    BUT I FORGOT THE WORST PART: Arguing with WVU fans.

    Never, under any circumstance, argue with a WVU fan. Here's how it will go down…

    Normal guy: I think WVU may be overrated, since the Big East isn't a very strong conference.

    WVU Fan: WHAT?? You are an idiot! What team do you root for? Maryland? BAH! You guys are terrible.

    Normal guy: The team that I root for really has nothing to do with my argument. I just think…

    WVU Fan: You just wait, just wait. The Big East is so much better than the ACC. We are going to wail on you guys!

    /pours beer on you
    //burns couch
    ///fin

  3. The Northerner Says:

    /.5 calls you gay and/or says your mascot is a pussy

  4. B-rock Says:

    /.5 calls you gay and/or says your mascot is a pussy

    as he spills his Old Milwaulkee Beast all over him/herself

  5. Adam Says:

    Ok, so maybe it wasn't addressed too much in this rant, although it was mentioned above by C Gally and mentioned in previous Hate Fest posts, but to argue the Big East is inferior, you MUST play in a conference that is superior to the Big East…

    Like the ACC, right? Since the ACC "raided" the Big East for their "top" teams, I am sure that the ACC has owned the Big East. Wouldn't you think? Let's look at the numbers according to ncaapalace.com. 2005-2008 Big East vs. ACC 17-17.

    You must be thinking we are beating up on Duke 4 times a year right? During bowl match-ups I am sure the ACC runs shit. Well, in bowl match-ups between the conferences during this time the record is 4-4. BCS match-ups? 1-1.

    Neither conference has a National Championship and neither has a Heisman winner… and you really can't claim the prestige of the programs because everything good Miami did came during their Big East time and FSU's glory days were B.V.T. (before VT).

    I would also point out that WVU has 2 BCS wins during this time, VT has 1.

    I could go on and talk about the rest of your points (drunkenness, academics, etc.) but this is enough to read (unless you want to give me a regular column). The ACC superiority that you all feel entitled to is the largest load of crap out there. Anyways, I am sure you will rip this, so have at it. Have fun with that lucrative conference championship that 15,000 people attend annually.

    And you think UVA fans are uppity?

    Have fun guys! It's all in fun.

  6. Adam Says:

    I guess once I pour a beer on your head I'll be stereotypical WVU guy… can't wait to meet you!

  7. Twitch Says:

    I think that a major point has been omitted here. I have nothing wrong with passionate fans, even ones who can be jerks from time to time; every fan base has a few rotten apples.

    However attending a WVU game in Morganhole was the only time in my life that I felt in genuine fear for my personal safety. I wasn't smack talking or drawing any extra attention to myself other than sporting Maroon and Orange. I was even attending the game with a family friend who was a Mountaineer. The foul language and threats were bad enough, but when things started being thrown, and further when I got surrounded, pushed down, and kicked at, that is when I had to run for the safety of the nearest police officer (who, while he did rescue me from bodily injury, basically shrugged and asked me what I expected coming there dressed like I was).

    Further, it is not that an incident like that happened, since I am sure that something similar could happen from time to time in a lot of places (though it does happen with far more regularity at WVU), but it is the attitude among Mountaineer fans that condones and celebrates that sort of behavior. No one should ever have to deal with anything like that at a sporting event, and yet many Mountaineers seem to tout it as a badge of honor and an acceptable part of the gameday experience.

    Hate. Those. Guys.

    Go Hokies.

  8. ebj Says:

    i can not really comment without much cursing and getting every neer fan up in arms (usually their brothers) but let's just say they suck and the WHOLE nation agrees.

    i am just happy for the whole state this past week, this whole cash for clunkers was awesome. they all now drive used cars from the 90's after trading in their 70's pintos, novas and trucks.

  9. Hokiesin09 Says:

    Adam-
    Congrats on researching the stats. I think the most important ones are Virginia Tech beating down WVu in Morganhole in our last showdown as ACC v. Big East.

    Also, I like VT's record against the Big East in bowl games since joining the ACC. A whipping of Louisville and a whipping of the Big East Champ Cincy.

  10. The Northerner Says:

    Adam,

    It would be one thing if CGally had mentioned that the ACC is better than the Big East, but he didn't. You even admitted that. So the age old inferiority complex rant of the Big East fan has no place here. No one cares (right now) what conference is better. All we care about is how much we hate WVU. You can't argue that the WVU are some of the worst in the country in terms of how they treat their visitors. Now I'm not saying VT is the best (the Aggies hold that honor) but we are a hell of a lot better than WVU. There's just no debating it. And it's not just Tech fans that say that. I have friends from other ACC and Big East schools and they all hate WVU because of experiences with their fans, usually unprovoked.

    And UVA fans aren't uppity. They have no reason to be uppity. They suck. They are just assholes.

  11. C Gally Says:

    So apparently going to the northern part of Canada means no TV, but wireless internet still works? Whatevs. Let's get started…

    I'd like to thank Adam for proving my point perfectly. Really, I couldn't have asked for more. I guess if you went to Rice, you don't get to have an opinion on any part of college football. Sorry that you're a fan and all, your views are wrong.

    Twitch and the other Hokies, thanks for the input. There was only so uch I could squeeze into one post. But yes, they are in fact the worst fans I have ever seen. There isn't even a contender. Maybe Browns fans? If they served beer at Mountaineer field, I'm sure Cleveland levels of barbarianism would ensue.

  12. The Northerner Says:

    Eagles fans are fucking terrible. Don't even try to argue this one, you threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Say what you want about Yankee fans (and I do) but at least they had the decency to respect the most jolly of the fat men.

  13. Mike Rannells Says:

    One of my fraternity brothers was driving up to Pittsburgh last year and stopped to grab some food in Morgantown. He had forgotten that he was wearing a VT hat that day, and didn't take it off when he got out of the car. While he was standing in line at McDonald's, he was tapped on the shoulder by a disheveled-looking old man wearing Mountaineer garb. The man looked my friend straight in the face and screamed "FUCK Virginia Tech, they suck!" After wiping the spit residue off his face, my friend studied the guy, smiled and replied calmly "At least I have teeth." The manager of McDonald's overheard the conversation and refused to serve my friend any food. Douchebags.

  14. Maniak Says:

    lol @ rannels.

    that story rules.

    my fav:

    woke up the morning of the last time we played at wvu…and i turned on ESPiN of course. Mark May (Cleveland's twin) was on there with some random dude, and they are talking about the 'atmosphere' in Morganhole.

    Mark May: you know what man, up there in Morgantown, those fans are ruthless. They'll throw batteries at the players, heck they'll even throw pennies!
    Other Guy: haha, well you know why they throw pennies, eh Mark?
    Mark May (uncomfortably): Uh, no, why?
    Other Guy: cuz they cant afford to throw nickels!!!

    BOOM. cuts to commercial right after he says it on live NATIONAL television. comes back from commercial, some other white dude is there. NEVER seen the first guy on ESPiN every again.

    HILARIOUS

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