The Universe is aligning itself

Some interesting stuff happened in the baseball world last night. These included David Ortiz raising his average to .213(!) – with three runs and a double, Brad Penny taking a liner off the chest and brushed it off like a fly and then kept pitching, Brad Penny winning his 100th game, the Red Sox having their 500th consecutive sellout, Roy Halladay – arguably the best pitcher in the MLB – got put on the DL, effectively ending the Blue Jay’s chance of winning this season, the Pirates are only three (3) games under .500 (almost halfway through the season! this could be Pittsburgh’s year), and the “mighty” Yankees took one on the chin from the Nationals, whose win last night accounted for 5.8% of their total season wins (to put that in perspective, one win is only 2.5% of the Red Sox’s wins and 3.2% of the Pirates’ – the Nats only have 17 wins now). The baseball gods are smiling down upon the North End Zone today. Go and sacrifice a hotdog.

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10 Responses to “The Universe is aligning itself”

  1. C Gally Says:

    "Oh, what the hell. I'll start Ortiz in fantasy this week."

    The guy's hitting .600. Everything's coming up Gally.

  2. The Northerner Says:

    …yet you still sit at home drinking alone on Friday nights. In your underpants. Eating three day old Thai food.

    ugggghhhh… I just got a mental picture of that and shuddered. I don't know why I even did that. I fully regret my decision.

  3. C Gally Says:

    I… I don't really know where that's coming from.

  4. The Northerner Says:

    Neither do I. I think it has something to do with J-Dawg being in MD for the week and my pregnant office-mate leaving to have her kid, I don't have an actual human being to talk to at work or at home. I think I might be going crazy.

    Oh look, it's raining unicorns.

  5. C Gally Says:

    Last night, I watched a show called "River Monsters" on Discovery. They had a story about a guy in the Amazon that had a fish… "enter" him while relieving himself in the river. It took him 4 days to get to a hospital, where they put a camera up there to find it and pull it out. It was 6 inches long. They showed the recorded video on the show.

    Then they sent the fish (which looks more like an eel) to the some museum for study. For whatever reason, the host met up with the guy and TOOK HIM TO LOOK AT THE FISH. The thing was huge, and the guy never actually looked at it before. The look on his face was priceless.

    I just wanted to let everyone know that, but didn't tihnk it deserved a post of its own.

  6. The Northerner Says:

    I don't think I saw that show, but I did see a show that was called "eaten alive" and it's about parasites and whatnot that basically, eat humans. Anyways, they had this guy, might have been the same guy, might not, but they had this guy who had the same thing happen to him and they explained that they had to surgically remove it, because the way the spines on the fish are, if they tried to pull it out, it would basically tear apart, well, everything. So they got it out, and then they showed the guy giving an interview, and he pulled out the fish that was in his penis, stored in a glass jar that he keeps. I haven't decided that if that were to happen to me whether I would want to keep it or not because I haven't gotten past the fact that the fish was up his hang down and like swimming around in his bladder. the fish was effing big too.

    On another note, there was a show called eco challenge a while back that was like survivor, but a race, and they had this one guy who radioed to the medical crew that he "felt a nip on his penis, looked down, and watched a leech disappear into his urethra". The medical staff's response? "There's really nothing we can do, but once he fills himself up on blood, he will make his way back out". I then threw up and told my junk that I loved it.

  7. C Gally Says:

    They were able to pull this one out, because, well, it had been 4 days and the fish had died and… quoting here… "WAS ROTTING INSIDE HIM."

    Seriously, I'm never going outside.

  8. The Northerner Says:

    I hear they have those fish up in the rivers of Maine. And leeches. In abundance.

  9. The Northerner Says:

    Though one point I should make, they are seemingly killed immediately if there is a large amount of alcohol in the host's system, so drink up.

  10. ebj Says:

    can ARod get in touch with Ortiz's new supplier?

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