Archive for May, 2009

You mess with the bull…

May 29, 2009

I know this has been posted all over the interwebs, but I figured it would make this a nice send off for the end of the week. Not only does this bull have like 20 spears sticking out of him, but the guy just stabbed him with a sword, hilt deep, into the bull’s shoulders. And yet the bull wins anyway. That’s called perseverance and determination my friends. The bull just wanted it more.

Here’s a nice little picture, too.

Have a nice weekend!

Do you even know what "laodicean" means?

May 29, 2009

WASHINGTON – Cool and collected, Kavya Shivashankar wrote out every word on her palm and always ended with a smile. The 13-year-old Kansas girl saved the biggest smile for last, when she rattled off the letters to “Laodicean” to become the nation’s spelling champion.

The budding neurosurgeon from Olathe, Kan., outlasted 11 finalists Thursday night to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee, taking home more than $40,000 in cash and prizes and, of course, the huge champion’s trophy.

Good for her. I’m going to admit, I watched this whole thing in it’s entirety. It was pretty entertaining. I was hoping for Kennyi to win (not a typo) and when he lost he was pretty damn mature about it. After he heard the bell he didn’t cry, he didn’t pout, all he did was say “oh well, I tried my best.” And he didn’t say it very loudly as if to get pity from the crowd. He said it as if only to himself to congratulate himself on his accomplishment, not expecting applause from anyone else (Sign that kid up for the GERMAN Club).

Now, I have to admit, there was one travesty other than Kennyi not winning. Erin Andrews was on the “sideline” as usual, and they only went to her once! One time! And she looked hot too. It was a huge disappointment when they ended the show and I slowly came to the realization that they were not going to go to her again. It was a sad moment.

But anyways, Kavya, if you’re reading this, congratulations, you deserved it. You kicked that spelling bee’s ass.

Oh, and by the way, “laodicean” means lukewarm or indifferent in religion or politics. I knew that. I just couldn’t get it off the tip of my tongue.

Oh I hope this happens

May 29, 2009

As her fame has boomed, Erin Andrews has declined certain requests because they would detract from her standing as a working journalist. Dancing With the Stars, though, would not be one of those requests.

“I want to do it, because I think I’d be good at it,” Andrews said yesterday.

“I want to do it very badly,” she continued. “That’s the big push.”

I have watched maybe a third of a show in total of Dancing with the Stars. If the Sideline Princess were to be on it with those skimpy outfits, I would DVR that shit so fast it would make your head spin. I would also vote my ass off to keep her on week to week (is this a voting show?). I know I’m not alone. You would too.

It’s over, it’s all over!

May 28, 2009

Archie has proposed to Veronica! After 67 years of having his cake and eating it too, Archie has decided to man up like the rest of us and pick from the two girls he was dating… I mean, propose to the love of our life. Yeah, that’s it.

In comic issue #600, Archie drops on his knee to give Veronica a big rock with Betty and Jug Head watching outside in shock. Why the dark haired vixen over the blonde hottie next door? You’ll have to read the issue to find out. And let me know what happens if you do, because I don’t even know where you can get these things anymore.

Poor Betty, always playing second fiddle. I’m sure Jug Head and Reggie will make her feel better. Perhaps at the same time? I doubt Betty is that kind of girl, but after 67 years of dating one guy, who knows, maybe she’s due for a bit of a wild streak.

Swooosh

May 27, 2009

Spit shine your shoes, we’re going dancing with Lord Stanley.

Yes, the Penguins completed their sweep of the lowly Carolina Hurricanes last night. Bill Cowher did some kind of pump up thing for the Hurricanes before the game. It was pretty douchey, but he won us a Superbowl so whatevs.

After the third goal, which more or less iced the game, the Penguins coach celebrated by blinking a few times. The guy is the white Mike Tomlin. He hasn’t smiled since grade school.
Upon arriving home, a gchat conversation went as follows:
  • Ryan: wooooooooooooooo
  • Me: woooooooooooooo
  • Ryan: welp, see ya later
So, who’s excited about the Stanley Cup Finals?

Ruslan is.

GO PENS.

The rumor mill is cranking

May 26, 2009

ESPN.com is saying there’s a chance Michael Vick may head to the ‘Skins. Whether true or not, it may make sense, as the ‘Skins have pretty much done everything but tell Jason Campbell to his face that they don’t really want him at QB. A high-profile quarterback who has proven that he is pretty good in the NFL no matter how long ago seems right up Dan Snyder’s alley.

Watch out, bitches

May 26, 2009

Tom Brady is back:

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP) – Tom Brady is back practicing with the New England Patriots.

The quarterback who was sidelined almost all last season with a knee injury was on the field Tuesday with most of his teammates.

The Patriots are holding four days of organized activities this week. The first three days were held last week for young players and for free agents who signed in the offseason and need more time to adjust to the playbook.

About 50 players, roughly half the team, took part in the voluntary sessions.

This guy must be raring to go after missing the whole season last year if he’s coming off a busted knee and coming to optional practices where only half the guys show up. This does not bode well for the Pats opponents. Plus, there is a rumor that Gisele is knocked up. Needless to say, he must be pumped about that too. I kinda feel bad for everyone in the NFL. Kinda.

UPDATE: From SI:

Brady said that playing 10 more seasons “is a big goal of mine, a very big goal. I want to play until I’m 41. And if I get to that point and still feel good, I’ll keep playing. I mean, what the hell else am I going to do? I don’t like anything else.

Oh, you guys are so effed.

Weekend recap

May 26, 2009

This past weekend was chock full of awesome shit going down including, but not limited to, the fact that I went on a tour of Fenway Park, got to go inside the Monster, ate lunch with Jed Lowrie, took in two Sox games, watched some BP from behind the plate, and got to try on the 2004 and 2007 World Series rings as well as hold the trophies. As for the deal of the recap, I got roped into an important project as soon as I got into work, and just now am getting some break time. So here we go.

1. Helio Castroneves won the Indy 500 for the third time in his career. For a guy who just barely beat a tax evasion rap which would have sent him to the clink for roughly 6 years only a few weeks ago, I would say this a pretty nice comeback.

2. The Penguins now lead the Caps 3-0 in the series and can close it out tonight. Will they? Won’t they? All we know is that the Red Wings will probably win another Cup because they are straight up dominating the Blackhawks. The Pens look good, but they don’t look that good. And from that, we get a potential success story from a city that, no arguments, needs it. But no one will care anyways, because who the hell is still left in Detroit to root for the Red Wings. (also, they win the award for the grossest nickname in sports. look it up on urbandictionary.com if you don’t get it)

3. The Sox dropped two of three to the Mets this weekend, but it was OK, because they are the Mets and they are going to miss the playoffs yet again while we take the World Series for the 3rd time this decade. On a related note, I have come to the conclusion that New York fans are the worst fans in the world. Worse than Boston fans, worse than Philly fans (gasp!) and worse than Dallas fans. They are the most fairweathered, in-your-face-when-we’re-winning, start-shit-with-people-for-no-reason, obnoxious and trashy fans out there. Go to a New York sporting event and you will see exactly what I mean.

4. The Cavs and Lakers will be playing each other in the NBA Finals, just as everyone called at the beginning of the… what? The Lakers are tied up 2-2 and the Magic lead the Cavs 2-1? Damn, that sucks for you analysts out there who claimed these series’ were going to be easy wins.

5. Jose Canseco had his MMA debut and got his ass taken down in a swift minute seventeen when he fought a ginormous Korean named Hong Man Choi. Choi dropped Canseco to the mat and went to town on his head forcing the refs to call the fight while it was still in the first round. Guess Canseco will really stop at nothing to keep himself in the spotlight, or is it that he’s as broke as Lenny Dykstra? A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

6. Cornell knocked off UVa (yay!) to take on Syracuse, who, for those of you who don’t know, is a friggin’ college lacrosse powerhouse. Cornell pulled the upset by being a five-seed to UVa’s two-seed, and led ‘Cuse all game long. That is until the Big Orange tied it up with 4 seconds left in the game. Then in overtime, Syracuse put the finishing move on Cornell and dropped one in to win 10-9. I tried to explain this to CGally, but for those of you who like hockey, you should really pay attention to lacrosse. It’s basically hockey in the air. The only difference is really the scoring, which may be a big deal, but the game is so fast and exciting, I’m willing to bet anyone watching it will be hooked immediately. There are few other sports where you can be down by five scores with less than a minute left and still win. I’ve seen it happen. Several times. Check it out. It’s worth it.

So there you go, hope you had a nice Memorial Day Weekend, and a few beers to help kick off summer.

Hat Trickeration

May 22, 2009
Bitch, please.
Last night was not the best night for someone to go with Evgeni Malkin for Penguins drinking. Three full beers (one for each goal) and a shot of Red Label (for the hat trick) and our Rock Band drummer couldn’t keep the beat to Ol’ Suzanna.

Malkin put in three as the Pens won in the closest 7-4 game in history. He also caused 26 premature births in the Pittsburgh area when he scored this unreal goal:

As usual, things got a little chippy near the end. From the looks of things, Miroslav Satan seems to be enjoying himself.

Now its off to Raleigh, up 2-0. I’d feel more confident about this if I didn’t just witness a 2-0 lead evaporate.

In less important news, Detroit is also up 2-0 heading to Chicago. They still have Hossa, who is still a douche.

That would explain the smell…

May 22, 2009


In case you can’t read it, it says “Guantanamo ‘has a taint’ Gates says”

Something tells me that isn’t what he meant, though.