CGally is getting desperate

It looks like CGally may be featured on Deadspin more than once.

According to this suspicious Craigslist post shown on Deadspin, the “unnamed Penguins fan” is offering a ticket with him to the next playoff game against the Flyers.

The qualifications for the second half of this dream date are as follows:

Age: Between 25 and 45
Race: Not a factor
Education: Some higher education or specialized training. We do have to be able to carry on a somewhat intellingent (sic) conversation, after all.
Marital Stats: Single or Divorced. I am not interested in someone who is separtated from her husband or worse yet, married and sneaking around behind his back!
Favorite Hockey Team: PITTSBURGH PENGUINS!! Please tell me how long you have been a Pens fan and how loyal of a fan you are. Examples would be appreciated!

Please include a few (not from the same set) RECENT photographs of you in your reply so I can verify that you are real and determine if there is a physical attraction on my end. You will receive photographs from me, ONLY if you are selected, so that you can verify that I am real and also determine if there is a physical attraction towards me from your perspective. Fair is fair. I don’t want this to feel like a total blind date for either of us.

PLEASE MEN — NO FAKE OR EVEN REAL REPLYS! THE GAME IS TOMORROW NIGHT AND I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE SLOWED DOWN BY YOUR FOOLISHNESS. I AM 100% HETEROSEXUAL

Let’s be honest here. This guy is dreaming if he thinks this is going to work. There are several reasons for this:

1. He only did this a short time before the game resulting in a limited amount of time for responses,
2. The fact that he mentioned that he doesn’t want any guys to respond either fake-ly or for real means that all he is going to get is fake responses from guys posing as girls. That was just a rookie move,
3. If this guy knew anything about women he would know that there are very few who are confident and/or dumb enough to blindly send a few pictures of themself to a random guy with the knowledge that he is going to judge them based solely on their looks and then probably save the images to his computer and never contact her again,
4. There are no female Penguins hockey fans. If he was a real Pens fan he would know this.

I would like to know if this strategy has ever worked in the history of Craigslist. And if it does, if love has ever bloomed from this semi-legal form of date prostitution. Maybe if we’re lucky, CGally will let us know how his weekend went.

Final question – Are people in Pittsburgh really this desperate?

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13 Responses to “CGally is getting desperate”

  1. C Gally Says:

    Trust me, if I had tickets to this game, you’d be annoyed at the number of times I told you about it.

    But A. Young is heading back to Pittsburgh this weekend…

  2. The Northerner Says:

    Ding ding ding… we have our creepster.

    I have been waiting to use that picture for the longest time. It was too good to waste on an inferior post.

  3. C Gally Says:

    How did you even come across that picture??

    Oh wait…

    …to a random guy with the knowledge that he is going to judge them based solely on their looks and then probably save the images to his computer and never contact her again.

  4. The Northerner Says:

    Are you saying I solicit photos of fat, extremely hairy bald guys who have a penchant for placing themselves in sexually intriguing positions with guns strewn about?

  5. C Gally Says:

    bingo

  6. The Northerner Says:

    What I do in my private time is my business and my business alone.

  7. furrer4heisman Says:

    There are no female hockey fans?

    Uh, guys. I would probably say hockey has the highest percentage of female fans among the four major sports. Just look at the blogs. There’s a HUGE number of hockey blogs written by women. (hlog.blogspot.com)

    If this kind of craigslist shenanigans were going to work for any sport, it would be hockey.

  8. The Northerner Says:

    It was meant as a joke. As in there are no “female” fans. Ahh nevermind.

    The real point is this guy is going to the game alone. Or with his mom.

  9. C Gally Says:

    Seriously, does he have NO guy friends? If I had a buddy that pulled this shit before asking if I wanted to go to the game, I’m fairly certain he’s winding up at the bottom of the Mon River.

    And judging by the number of pink jerseys, I’d have to say the Red Sox have the most female fans I’ve ever seen.

    Finally, that guy looks like a fat, bald version of the rocker from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

  10. The Northerner Says:

    The Sox have a good amount of girl fans, but I don’t think they outnumber the pink Romo jerseys out there. Plus the Cownoys are all girls, so they count towards to total, too.

    I don’t know ho that guy looks like, but that picture is like a train wreck. It’s so awful but I can’t look away.

  11. furrer4heisman Says:

    Whether he has friends or not, he’s gotta be one of the LEAST desperate guys on craigslist. I read that shit just to feel better about my own life.

  12. librarymom Says:

    No female hockey fans? oh my I hope cgally’s sisters,mom grandma and other female relatives don’t know the real identity of the Northerner! Could be trouble!!

  13. The Northerner Says:

    Obviously I under-estimated the diversity of people viewing this site.

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