I’m so confused

What the hell is going on with baseball right now?

1. The Red Sox are shitting the bed
2. Jon Lester is throwing batting practice to opposing teams
3. The Yankees are awful and got owned by the Rays 15-5
4. The Yanks ran out of pitchers so Nick Swisher – that’s right, their temporary first baseman – threw an inning and was their best pitcher of the night
5. And the Pirates shut out the Astros 7-0.

It’s like white is black, outside is inside, cheeseburgers eat you, and Lindsay Lohan is sober. I’m so lost.

4 Responses to “I’m so confused”

  1. C Gally Says:

    You know what really grinds my gears? This Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You’re a… You’re out there jumping around and I’m just sitting here with my beer. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you’re trying to – why why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want? Well, I’ll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is – is just bogus.

  2. The Northerner Says:

    Wow. I really hope you found that online and didn’t recite it from memory.

  3. C Gally Says:

    Come on man, you know how lazy I am. You think I’d really type all that out? I’m tired just typing this comment.

  4. The Northerner Says:

    That would explain the lack of posts. My back is getting tired.

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