‘Skins throw money at Haynesworth

The Redskins just signed Albert Haynesworth to a 7-year, $100 million dollar contract.

According to ESPN:

The deal, which was reached early Friday morning, includes $41 million in guarantees. During the first 13 months of the contract, Haynesworth will earn approximately $32 million…the deal could end up maxing out at $115 million based on his performance, according to sources.

I think it’s now necessary to ask: How much money does Dan Snyder have? Does he keep it in a locked silo like Scrooge McDuck and then go swimming in a sea of gold coins and dollar bills? Why was Scrooge McDuck so angry? Are Huey, Duey, and Louie his nephews from his side or is he married? I want answers, dammit!

Also, the politically-incorrect name for Native Americans have signed VT alum and troublemaker-turned-above-average cornerback DeAngelo Hall to a 6-year, $54 million contract, with the hopes that he will pay dividends when he realizes the world is his oyster and stops being a douche about things.

Scrooge McDuck is still a free agent and has not had any offers as of yet.

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6 Responses to “‘Skins throw money at Haynesworth”

  1. C Gally Says:

    Living in DC gives a mighty fine perspective on these things. And it ain’t pretty.

    “People come here to get paid” is a phrase thrown around pretty loosely.

    And the question isn’t how Snyder gets his money (the Skins still turn a profit). The question is how does he get under the cap?

  2. The Northerner Says:

    Apparently they “reworked” some players contracts (read: forced to take paycut).

  3. C Gally Says:

    They also push a lot of the payments for cap purposes to later years. You could see them playing with Shane Falco’s in 2011.

  4. The Northerner Says:

    Do you do anything other than watch cheesy movies?

  5. C Gally Says:

    I also comment on blog posts. It’s a hard knock life.

  6. A. Young Says:

    Dan Snyder is Bizarro Dan Rooney.

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