Bryan Stinespring: Bad Coordinator, or WORST COORDINATOR EVER??

Somewhere men are laughing,
and somewhere children shout.
But there is no joy in Blacksburg,
Mr. Stinespring’s gotta be out.

Warning: This post contains possibly harmful amounts of anger, hate, and rage. Proceed at your own risk.

Where to begin? Where oh where to begin?

This may come as a surprise, but we are not football experts here at The North End Zone. We know we like football, and that’s good enough for us.

But sweet baby James what the hell was that pitifulness put on display on Thursday night?? Anyone?

Our offense appears to be run by one of those old time computers that could only be used by punch cards… or A.W.E.S.O.M.E.-O.

Bryan Stinespring is awful at his job. One of the worst we’ve ever seen. If we performed like that at our job, we’d be fired faster than Ryan “Fired Guy” Howard.

We’re not saying we could do better. Again, we don’t know football that well. But let’s look at the facts, shall we?

There are 119 college football teams in Division 1-A. You know where we rank in offense? 109th. Just ahead of San Jose State and Syracuse. San Jose isn’t even a state. Hell, we are last in the ACC in offense. Last in the worst conference in the world.

We’d like to say it’s a fluke. That we lost a ton of guys and are really young. But that would be a lie. Our rankings for yards per game since 2003:
2007 – 100th
2006 – 97th
2005 – 57th (wooooooooo!)
2004 – 69th
2003 – 69th (at least we’re consistent)

Check it out kids.

And we want to be an elite program? Are you kidding? Light years away.

Oh, and the possibility of Bud Foster leaving? You’re damn right he should leave. If you did nothing but do wonders at your job, only to see the other side of the team consistently blow games, why in the world would you stay? If Bud Foster was the defensive coach at USC, he wins 3 titles in 5 years.

Make no mistake, WHEN he leaves, we become straight up mediocre. I hope you like all that success Maryland is having, because that’s us, folks.

Stinespring has to be fired, right? I mean, there is ZERO proof that he his doing the job he was hired for. Wasn’t this kind of thing covered when congress passed Sarbanes-Oxley?

Yes, that was a Sarbanes-Oxley joke. Cherish.

But there is hope, people. There is a movement beginning. From the blog to the Facebook group.

As Abe Lincoln once said, “Any fanbase anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing incompetent coaching staff, and form a new one that suits them better. This is a most valuable – a most sacred right – a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate Hokie Nation.”

The movement is growing. Bring signs. Paint sidewalks. Pay for one of those flyover ad things they have at the beach. VIVA REVOLUTION!!!

4 Responses to “Bryan Stinespring: Bad Coordinator, or WORST COORDINATOR EVER??”

  1. Hokie Guru Says:

    Thanks for the good words… I’ve give you some pub in my latest post.

  2. Molly Says:

    The good news: Notre Dame is ranked last on that yards per game sheet. There is some hope for this world.

  3. C Gally Says:

    Any time Guru. We’re all in this together. We can make this world a better place.

  4. Hokie Guru Says:

    Breaking news on my site.

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