Game 2: "Preview" and Predictions

Yeah, we would have done a full preview. But it’s a four day week. We’re still in our hole after Saturday. And it’s freaking Furman. Do you really want to read about what kind of team they have and what we need to do to beat them? Well, we hope not, because we sure as hell don’t want to write about it.

We found the helmet, and by gum we are going to use it.

Will play 11 guys at a time.
Has no mascot or discernable nickname. (Maybe the Furmen? Gross.)
Division 1-AA.

Why do we play this game? Thank the good lord the NCAA added another game to the schedule. Wouldn’t want to use that extra week for, you know, a playoff.

Here’s our idea for the game. Make it a practice for the coaches. Go in with no game plan. None. Then, at the end of each quarter, they have to… (insert scary music)… MAKE ADJUSTMENTS.

When was our last true come back win? We’re not sure there’s ever been one in Hokie history. In fact, we’re fairly certain the coaching staff plays Xbox at half time.


As far as the rest of the year goes, we are still in this. With Tyrod burning the shirt (whatevs) Tech is probably the favorites to win the NEAC… I mean the ACC.

Seriously, how pitiful is this conference? Vanderbilt could make an Orange Bowl over here.


Well, with our phoned in Furman preview out of the way, let’s get to the predictions:

Congrats (I guess) to last week’s “winner”, Wright. As Madjay pointed out, he correctly picked the VT score on the nose, and was the closest to the ECU score. Plus he’s the Notre Dame of the group, so he gets a few bonus points for no reason.

I’m sure he will celebrate this victory with great fanfare.

File Photo

(all VT wins, obviously)
Gally: 35 – 3, Tyrod pulls a Moxon and pegs Beamer in the face when we stop running the ball.
DiP: 31 – 3, two defensive scores
Carnegie Mellon’s Super-Scientific Football Analyst: 35 – 10
Maniak: 27 – 10
B-Dubs: 42 – 7
Meet the Summet: 34 – 13
The Bull: 31 – 10

(Feel free to drop your own prediction in the comments. We promise to not stalk Facebook to find a drinking picture of you.)
So now that Optimus Prime is in the ICU, it’s time to turn in a completely different direction. Our coaches performed so badly last week, they will have to swallow their pride and accept help from a girl that knows more about football than they do.
(No DiP, it’s not Sarah Palin.)
We need to get a team leader. Someone who knows what’s going on, especially on defense.
You guessed it. Becky “Ice Box” O’Shea.

Perhaps this year, just one time, we can beat Kevin down Cherry Tree Hill.



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