Game 1 Preview: ECU Pirates

It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!!

It’s the sporting world’s version of the Red Ryder BB Gun: The first college football Saturday.

Black Bart was not a Pirate.

The Friday before, we can never sleep. Well, we wouldn’t be able to sleep, if not for the fact that we usually start drinking around 5:30 pm Friday afternoons. When we awake at 10 the next morning, we scamper downstairs in footie pajamas to amazing visions of pregames and tailgates. Oh holy night!

It is without hyperbole that this Saturday is the best day of the year.

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On to our team…

Obviously, the biggest news pertains to the quarterback situation. We could delve into this for hours, but we’re just kind of sick of it. We really don’t care at this point. The offense is going to score about 6 points a game no matter what, so what the hells the difference?

If Stinespring isn’t running the ball, we’ll be breaking television sets anyways.

Run. The. Ball. Sean Glennon is only one man.

The North End Zone offices are pretty divided on the final decision. Many points were thrown out there, but Tyrod is not Jesus in maroon and orange. (We’re pretty sure the regular Jesus wears maroon and orange anyways, though.)

Will Glennon be a Bryan Randall or a Grant Noel? Hopefully the former. All he really needs to do is not f— it up and let the running game and defense win the games.

And at the end of the day, at best Tyrod gets you to 10-2, and at worst Glennon gets you 8-4. For an extra year with a better team, we can handle a few more curse-filled rants.

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But we will need to throw at some point. Our starting wide receievers? Dyrell Roberts and Danny Coale. If you haven’t heard of them, don’t worry. Their mothers haven’t even heard of them.

If this group of freshmen can perform as well as the outgoing class, we are going to have a great bunch of receivers we’ll never be able to get the ball to.

In true Friday Night Lights style, we will only be referring to Kenny Lewis as Kenny Lewis. No Kenny or Lewis or KL or K-Lew. He is forever Kenny Lewis.

He’s our starter, with what will amount to 3 backups in Evans, Oglesby, and the Cheese (though the Cheese is listed at #4). It will all depend on the o-line anyways… Just love when that’s the case…

Awesomely enough, one man that will also be getting some carries this year: Greg Booooooooooooone. Officially our favorite player. Just going to make that fact known.

In the off season, Greg goes crabbing on the Northwestern.

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Bud Foster is still on the coaching staff, so the defense will be as solid as usual. Once again, the unit will keep us in every game. Orion and Cam will be wrecking balls in the middle.

Kam Chancellor will return at least 3 interceptions for touchdowns. And Macho will again live up to the most badass name in all of football. Other stars will emerge throughout the season, and we’ll try in vain to come up with awesome nicknames.


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So the actual ECU game…

This is the first time in 108 years that we will play a football game in Charlotte.

What was happening in 1900?
Hawaii became a US territory.
The Olympics as we know them today were held in Paris. The SECOND Olympics.
Ricky Henderson was born.

Christ, dude.

And Tech lost to Clemson, 12-5.

Most of the people we know who watched that game have not been able to get over it. Well, this one is for you guys.

We’re 6-0 against the Pirates since we got good (circa 1994). As anyone from Pittsburgh will tell you, a good record against a team called the Pirates is not something to brag about.

We suck…

No official word on the rumor that Matt Morris will be starting at quarterback.

The number one running back for the 2007 Pirates was lost to the first round of the draft, and this year’s presumptive number one is out with a knee injury.

That would be the extent of our scouting.

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So what’s the deal with this game? Well, ECU is that team you don’t like playing. You know they’re better than people think, but clearly other people don’t think that way.

Obviously we should win this game, but it will be closer than we’d all like.

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But the bigger question is who will lead us? In the tradition of thepensblog, we need a leader for each game. Hey, it worked for us during the playoffs.

We need a solid win, but there’s no need to be flashy here. Just get the job done. It’s business.

Who do we turn to? You got it. Optimus Prime

Not only is a hero, but he’s a truck driver, too.

Get it done. Go Hokies.

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