The Penguins Only Hope

We know, we know. The North End Zone does not do a preview for the Stanley Cup and everything goes to hell. It’s all our fault. Stop yelling at Adam Hall (even though we haven’t stopped… get us some Jeff Taffe!!).

Word is the Penguins were spotted in Pittsburgh just after the final whistle last night. The rumors are pretty believable, because they certainly didn’t show up in Detroit.

Well now it’s a little late for a preview. We’re already in a hole so deep that not even the skills of one Adam “Cake Eater” Banks could pull us out. So it’s time to get desperate.

Over at the Pensblog, each game is designated a hero. Whether Red and Andy from Shawshank or President Thomas J. Whitmore who saved us from the aliens, there’s always someone to lead us.

But times are too trying. We need the nuclear bomb. We need none other than:

Capt. SIG HANSEN of the Northwestern

To think that we may have never known Sig if not for the Discovery Channel is pretty scary. Though Sig would only be considered a green-horn on a boat captained by Gary Roberts, Sig is the leader of the greatest crab boat of all time. All. Time. (Technically, all the boats in which Jesus was involved were fishing boats.)

We will look to Sig for guidance. Game three is obviously a must win. And the 4 shots we had in game two will not get it done. Sig will know where to drop the pots. He’ll guide us in the choppy seas. Get that man a ticket.

Game three. LET’S GO PENS!!!!

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3 Responses to “The Penguins Only Hope”

  1. C Gally Says:

    As Steve suggested, we have now added an official nickname to the site:

    Signey Crosby. And he’s the Captain.

  2. joseph h. Says:

    the series has gone beyond signey, we need bear grylls to save this.

  3. A. Young Says:

    I think Sig just pulled out 1 million tons of Alaskan King Crab out of his a$$ last night.

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