WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

The Penguins have defeated the Capitals in 7 games.

In other news, the bar across the street in Cleveland had both Versus and $1 Coors Lights. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

And NHL ’94 was surprisingly accurate.

So it’s come to this: Pens-Caps to decide fate of the world

You know what’s awesome? Game 7′s. You know what’s not awesome? Your team being in a game 7. We’ve needed a drink since about 7 pm yesterday, right around the time we woke up from the heartbreak of game 6.

If you haven’t watched any of this series, you have missed TNT levels of drama. We can’t implore you enough that you have to watch tonight. Though, based on our simulation via NHL ’94, the Penguins will win 16 – 7. At least we know it will be high scoring.

Your humble editor will be watching from a bar in Cleveland. Luckily, the city is 90% Steeler fans, so I’m pretty confident in finding a few Penguin supporters.

7pm on Versus.

Let’s kick the tires and light the fires! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

LET’S GO PENS!

How good is the computer in NHL ’94?

Like all good Americans, I still own a Super Nintendo with a working version of one of the greatest sports games of all time (greatest hockey game, certainly): NHL ’94.

My roommates and I would stay up late, completely engrossed in our battles. The games usually finished with the loser cussing out digital versions of Ulf Samuelsson or Paul Coffey for skating the wrong way.

Well, we recently went our separate ways, and I’ve been left to play NHL ’94 alone. I may sound like a loser, but…. well, I am. After destroying the East All Stars (played by the computer) with the Florida Panthers (the 1994 Panthers, mind you), I thought that the computer may not be very good at this game.

So I performed a small experiment. I set my team as Florida, and the computer as the East All Stars. However, this time, I did not touch the controller.

If my player got the puck, he stood there until someone hit him or took it. I merely hit start to begin each period. Some called me crazy. Some will call me a genius.

What was the result?

The Panthers lost 1-0.

Jagr scored for the East on a one-timer with about 2 minutes left in the game.

Other stats:

• East was 1/23 shooting. Florida was 0/0 (shockingly)
• The All Stars had one breakaway, which they missed.
• The All Stars won the body check statistic 43 to 5.
• Florida actually won the faceoff battle 13 to 12 (???). No, really.
• Each team got a penalty, though the one on Florida was a bullcrap holding call.
• Mario put Joe Cirella out for the game with his roughing penalty. Who is Cirella, you ask? Someone out there has probably bought a car, a house or insurance from him.

So this pretty much proves that any of those “practices” I had playing the computer were worthless. I debated picking up the controller with a minute left in game, but that would have ruined objectivity of this highly scientific experiment.

I guess I’ll just have to go back to NBA Jam T.E.

He’s on fire!!